Healthy Tipping Point

This weekend, the Husband and I decided we really needed to get out of town. MomHTP’s house in Tennessee felt like the perfect escape.

While there, I discovered that my mom keeps her nail polish in the fridge.  Huh.

Beyond nail painting, we spent a lot of time outside. Henry went to the splash park not once, not twice, but three times.  He had a blast – the splash parks were a lot less crowded than they are in Charlotte.

A woman said to me, “My, my, you have a runner there.  Bless your little heart,” which is Southern for “Basically, you are screwed.”  Hah.

 

We also did a lot of hiking/walking.  Nothing too strenuous, but it was still nice to be outside and in the trees.

MomHTP and AuntieHTP:

And, of course, we ate.  A lot.  My mom does a good job of prepping a ton of food before we arrive, so we just end up pulling Tupperwares from the fridge and heating up goodies to make meals.  Lots of collard greens and beans and other delicious Southern classics.  That didn’t stop me from loading up on peanut butter and spicy raspberry  jam sandwiches… I think I had four over the weekend.  They are so good.

Another nice thing about my mom’s house is that she has a TON of toys!  Some are mine – it’s fun to see the 1980s throwbacks, like the cashier register – but some are new items that she picks up at the consignment store.  She got Henry a play kitchen for $5 – what a steal.

Our big activity was checking out the farmer’s market at downtown Knoxville.  We had a lovely lunch at one of the restaurants and then walked around to see the vendors.  It’s a HUGE market with tons of awesome booths – we have a lot of small markets in Charlotte but nothing as big as this one.  I was jealous.

And yes, that’s a REAL dog -  he weighs 250 pounds!  He looked like a walking cartoon.

 

We stumbled on another splash park and Henry dived in, shorts and all.

But the best find was this popsicle stand!  His popsicles were so good.

I had Dulce de Leche.  Henry ended up eating most of it because it was sooo good.

And I had a Nutella later at home – it was like a Fudgesicle times a million.

Saturday night, the Husband and I went out on a date.  It was gloooorious.  We went to a English pub and saw a movie (Guardians of the Galaxy, which was so funny and entertaining).

We spent most of our meal discussing what we’d name our English pub if we ever opened one… We decided on The Upside-Down Turtle (good name, right?).  Did you know that there are some classic, common pub names used over and over again in England (as in, hundreds of times)?  The most common one include:  The Red Lion, The Royal Oak, The White Hart, Rose and Crown, and King’s Head.

 

We rounded up the trip with yet another hike.  It was nice to stretch our legs before getting into the car, especially because we made several wrong turns on the way home and extended our drive by about an hour – ugh!

Now, predictably, my house is in shambles, there’s a load of laundry to attend to, a pile of mail waiting to be opened, and Henry is going through “JoJo” withdrawals (he’s obsessed with my mom – big time).  Vacation is sweet, but it’s time to get back into the swing of things!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the ‘lessons’ I learned during Henry’s first three months of life.  When you’re a first time mom, you try really hard to IMAGINE life with a newborn, but it’s impossible to know what it’s really like until you’re living it. And then, of course, all babies and experiences are different!  So maybe these lessons won’t even apply to my next child. But I thought it would be fun to make a list and share it… I’d love to hear what YOU learned with your first baby, too!

Before you leave the house for the hospital, take one last ‘just the two of us’ photo with your partner.  You’ll want to remember that moment!

 

After you deliver the baby, you still have to deliver the placenta.  It’s a lot easier, but it’s still work.

 

You’re about to have the longest period of your life. Stock up on pads.

 

Sitz baths, peri bottles, and stool softeners are your friends. Afterwards, you’ll probably regret all the nights you skipped perineal massage.

 

For the first few days after delivery, you’re going to be functioning on little sleep.  You’ll be surprised at how awake and alert you feel.  You’ll wonder what everyone is talking about when they bitch about sleep deprivation with a newborn.

 

Three to five days after birth, reality is going to hit. You’ll realize that you’ve never been so physically and mentally exhausted in your entire life.  You’re so tired that you can’t feel your face.

 

Yes. Your baby really is the cutest baby EVER.  Cutest baby in the whole world, in fact.

 

Even if you hate doing laundry, you’re probably going to love folding little newborn clothes.

 

Try to talk to your partner and friends about something besides baby poop and feeding schedules, even though that’s all you can think about at first.

 

Let your partner do as much of the childcare as possible, even if you secretly think they are doing it “wrong.”  They probably aren’t – they’re just doing it differently than you.  And the worst thing you can do is make your partner feel obsolete or useless.

 

You are desperately, desperately, DESPERATELY going to want to feel, look, and act like your ‘old self.’   Don’t forget that YOU JUST HAD A BABY.  Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

 

I promise… One day, you will feel like your old self.  Or a new version of your old self.  It just takes a while.

 

On that note – something has got to give.  You can’t be 100% mom, 100% worker, 100% house cleaner, 100% social maven, 100% superwoman.  When people offer to help, accept it.  Hire help – a maid, a food delivery service, childcare.

 

Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes mom footage to someone else’s highlight reel.

 

Even when your baby is happily sleeping, you’re still going to wake up in a panic and make sure they are still breathing.  This may last for months and months.

 

Your house is going to be a disaster. It’s okay. There’s plenty of time to clean up later.

 

The first time you leave the house with your baby, you’ll be terrified. But it gets easier and easier over time with practice. You can do it!

 

Old ladies in the grocery store are going to tell you to “savor every moment” when your breasts are leaking on your shirt, you’re running on two hours of sleep, and your baby is screaming hysterically.  You are going to want to punch that sweet old lady in the face.  It’s okay not to savor every moment when you’re experiencing it.  But I bet that two years later, you’ll understand what the old lady meant – time goes really, really fast.  You aren’t really aware of how quickly time passes until you have a child.

 

Speaking of breasts leaking on your shirt, you should probably stock up on breast pads.  And you should wear them religiously at first.  Because the ONE TIME time your boobs spontaneously decide to spring a leak, you’ll be wearing a tight gray shirt and talking to your father-in-law… <— true story.

 

It’s tempting to eat a load of junky food – sugar propels you through those sleepy days – but try really hard to eat a vegetable every now and then. 

 

For the most natural thing in the world, breastfeeding does not always come naturally.  Read books, surround yourself with good and helpful examples, and reach out to a lactation consultant. 

 

You need fewer baby clothes than you think, especially if you have quick access to a laundry machine.

 

You don’t have to change the diaper just because it has a drop of pee in it.  It took me two months to realize this!  Oh, and there’s going to be SO. MUCH. POOP.

 

When you run to the store for diapers, dish soap, or paper towels, buy it in triple.  You’re going to run out sooner than you think.

 

Ask your friends if you can borrow their swing, baby wearing device, or bouncy chair before you buy one.  Your kid may hate it.  Also, generally speaking, you don’t need as much baby “gear” as retailers make you think you do.

 

Even if you’re a horrible singer, your baby will love to hear your voice.

 

If you have a two story home, have a diaper changing station upstairs and downstairs. A diaper changing “station” can be an old towel, a pack of diapers, and a bunch of wipes.

 

On that line, put a bag of emergency baby items in the trunk of your car.  Stock it with extra clothes, more diapers and wipes, formula if necessary, etc.  Throw in an extra outfit for you (remember – “SO. MUCH. POOP!”).

 

It’s all worth it the first time your baby smiles at you. 

 

Ask someone to take photos of you WITH your baby.  You’re going to be behind the camera most of the time… It’s nice to have photos of the two of you.  <3

What lessons did you learn with your newborn?  There are so many unique and personal lessons!

It looks like I can continue wogging for at least a little bit longer!

Side note… Wogging = Waddling jogging.  Because that’s more and more what running looks like these days.  I am no longer graceful in anything that I do, but ESPECIALLY not running.  I quit pregnant running with Henry weeks and weeks ago compared to this pregnancy, so I don’t care WHAT I look like – I’m SOOOOO pumped to be running. 

 

I had a bad run last Friday that left me completely wiped out, so when I did 2.3 miles yesterday and felt good afterwards, I was so pleased!  And here I thought Friday was going to be the end for me.  Guess I should probably go buy bigger gear (nothing else I have fits me anymore – especially not my sized-up running shorts and sports bras!).

 

Wooo to the the hooo!  I’ve still got the wog. {{Happy Awkward Dance!!}}

In other news, I have a piece of popcorn stuck in my gum, and it is super painful.  Random, but I had to say it.  It’s like torture.

 

Painted Baskets DIY

 

Look – I did something crafty!

I got this idea from an old Young House Love post <— click for all the How To Do details.  It was really easy and fun to do, and now I have pretty, customized toy baskets for Henry’s big kid room.

Honestly, the coolest part was that this is a craft project you can do while sitting on the couch and half-watching TV.  The entire process took 5 nights in front of the TV.  It was very relaxing… I didn’t worry too much about making my stripes perfect or anything.  But it still came out nice! 

I spy giraffe legs in the background…

Did you know…

67% of cell owners find themselves checking their phone for messages, alerts, or calls — even when they don’t notice their phone ringing or vibrating.

29% of cell owners describe their cell phone as “something they can’t imagine living without.”

The average user checks their phone about 110 times a day.

(Source, Source)

How many times a day do I check my phone?  I have no idea… I would love to know. I do know that I spend a scary amount of time on my phone – it’s really the moments I spend on the phone that bother me the most.  Namely – right when I wake up in the morning while in bed and when I’m relaxing on the couch at night.  These are really moments that I should be truly relaxing or focusing on my husband, not checking out on social media.

 

And I certainly don’t bury my face in my phone when I’m on parent duty, but I do pick up my phone to quickly check in… Check those emails, pop in on Facebook, tweet a funny thought.   I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with looking at your phone when you’re hanging out with your kid, especially for quickies, but I do hate that Henry sees me pick it up so frequently. He’s growing up thinking it’s normal to be attached at the hip to an electronic device.  That makes me REALLY sad… for him and for me.

 

So for the last weeks, I’ve really been thinking about cutting the phone cord (well, the proverbial one at least!).  I read an awesome post on No Meat Athlete called “In Defense of Inconvenience” – basically, he had a clunker phone that he traded in for a smartphone before his book tour and then he switched back.  When I read it, I was in awe.  How could he LIVE without a smartphone?!  Especially because his career is in social media, too! But Matt did it – and he was happier as a result.

 

So the Husband and I talked about getting rid of our smartphones.  I kind of got itchy just discussing it.  I had so many objections – How would I check emails?  How would I get directions?  How would I stay on top of work? How would I organize meet-ups with my friends? <—My mom friends use a Facebook group to organize hangouts.

 

I decided that getting rid of the iPhone isn’t really the answer for me.  For now – I simply want to look at my phone less.  A lot less.

For the next month, I’m…

 

Deleting all my social media apps from my phone so I can’t check in, Facebook, or Tweet except from my desktop computer (exception is Instagram, which you can only post to via mobile and I use partially to promote blog stuff – no long browsing sessions allowed though).

Plugging my phone in on the opposite side of my bedroom so I can’t pick it up first thing in the morning.  Thankfully, I already broke myself of the habit of reading my phone BEFORE I go to sleep (it’s a proven sleep disruptor).

Not bringing my phone into the TV room at night.

Deleting the folder of blogs and websites that I frequent so I can’t easily browse the Internet from my phone.

Leaving my phone in one location throughout the day (on top of the kitchen counter) so I can hear it ring/beep for texts but am less likely to just randomly pick it up.

Wearing a watch daily so I can check the time without turning on my phone.

Generally making an effort to only use my phone for calls, texts, e-mails when traveling, music and NPR (we don’t have a radio), and directions in the car.

 

And to help remind myself to do this, I’m changing the password on my phone.  I think I’ll automatically punch in the old password and thinking, “Oh, I changed the password because I’m trying to limit my phone use,” which will be helpful in keeping these goals at the forefront of my mind.  Once I adjust to the new password, I’ll change it again.

 

I’m hoping that a little phone detox will help me have a healthier relationship with my smart device. My thumbs will surely thank me!

 

How often do you check your phone? Do you think you have a smartphone problem?