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On sleeping arrangements

14 weeks IMG_9044

What a difference 20 weeks makes!  Today, I’m 34 weeks pregnant and feelin’ pretty good.  It’s amazing to me that I will be in charge of a baby in six weeks or so (when did I become an adult?!).  Baby is now 4.75 pounds and 18 inches long.  The central nervous system and lungs are maturing and, at this point, if BabyHTP was born with no other health issues, she or he would probably be fine.  Whew.  (Source)

 

But please.  Stay put for a few more weeks.  I’m just not ready for you to come out and play!

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This week, let’s talk about what I know is a controversial topic for many – sleeping arrangements.  Where does baby sleep? Where does mom sleep?  Where does dad sleep?  Oh, wait.  I forgot – I’m never going to sleep again.  Hah hah.  You know what I mean.

 

The way I see it, there are three general places that a baby can sleep.

 

One: in a crib in the nursery (side note: nursery tour is forthcoming! I need to finish up some details – but Kath snuck in a fun sneak peak on her blog.)

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Two: in the parent(s)’ bedroom in a bassinet or crib.

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Three: physically in the parent(s)’ bed.  Doggie friends not required.

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I always thought the term ‘co-sleeping’ meant in the same bed, but it actually just means ‘close to the parent.’  So Location 2 and 3 are two forms of co-sleeping, but Location 3 is a form of ‘bed-sharing.’

 

Determining sleeping arrangements was a bit stressful for the Husband and I, as we felt like we were juggling with multiple issues.  First, and most importantly, is the baby’s health and wellness. Some interesting facts:

 

  • The American SIDS Institute, which studies Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, says that studies show that babies are safest when they are sleeping close to their parents.  They recommend having the baby sleep in your room until the baby is six months old.  They also say that a baby should never sleep in an adult bed. (Source)
  • The American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends that babies sleep in the same room, although not in the same bed. (Source)
  • The reason that most Westernized institutes and groups warn against bed-sharing is that parents can easily roll over and suffocate a baby, babies can get trapped in bedding or fall off the bed, and other accidents can occur.
  • However, bed-sharing among parents and older children is standard practice in many parts of the world, mostly in Asia and Africa. One 2006 study of children age 3–10 in India reported 93% of children bed-share.  It may also be more common in North America and Europe to bed-share with babies than we think.  An older National Center for Health Statistics survey (1991 – 1999) found that 25% of American families always, or almost always, slept with their baby in bed and 42% slept with their baby "sometimes.” Proponents of the practice says it helps them and the baby sleep better, promotes bonding, and makes breastfeeding easier.
  • Co-sleeping has numerous proven benefits – studies show that it promotes bonding, regulates sleep patterns, and assists ‘breastfeeding on demand,’ which ultimately increases the mother’s milk supply. (Source)

 

Kristien and I took at all the data and decided that, for the first few months, co-sleeping in the bassinet at night was ideal for us.  Beyond the reduction in SIDS risks, this will definitely make breastfeeding easier.  Our nursery and master bedroom are on different floors – and I can’t imagine trooping up and down the stairs all through the night, especially at first when the baby is hungry all the time.

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However, I’d like to put the baby down for longer daytime naps in the nursery so they just get used to being in that room (and use a monitor to keep an eye on them).  We’d like to transfer her or him to their own room after a few months, depending on their sleep habits.  I know the SIDS Institute recommends co-sleeping for six months, but I’m not sure if that will work for us.  We’ll see.

 

The next concern: where will we sleep?!

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While I’m hoping that parenthood imbues us with magical sleeping powers, I’m a little nervous because both the Husband and I are really crap at functioning on low levels of sleep.  I’ve always been a sleep wussy.  I, of course, will get the worst end of the deal because I’ll (hopefully) be exclusively breastfeeding for four to six weeks, and then we will probably switch to breastfeeding/pumping and bottle feeding (why four to six weeks?  Bradley Method recommendations say this is the prime time to introduce a bottle so that baby won’t reject breast or bottle but be receptive to both – I’ll let you know how this works out…).  After this point, in theory, the Husband could give the baby a bottle of breast milk at night, but I’d probably still have to wake up to pump. 

 

Remember how we’re doing a SAHD/SADM (stay-at-home-dad / stay-at-home-mom) switcheroo with our work schedules?  Basically, the Hus is going to be on Daddy Duty on Monday and Friday while I work from home, and I’ll be on Mommy Duty on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday while he works at the clinic.  Because Kristien’s job involves a great deal of brain power, we decided that it’s probably best for him to sleep in the guest room on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights so he’s not woken up by the baby.  I’m not looking forward to separate sleep spaces for half the week, but it’s probably for the best.  I may sleep in the guest room, too, on my work nights once we introduce the bottle and Kristien is on Daddy Duty – even if I wake up to pump, I’m sure I’ll sleep more deeply without the baby right next to me.  And sleep is an important part of being a happy parent.

 

So – that’s our plan.  Like so much of this baby stuff, I’m not sure how it will work in real life, but having a game plan for sleep makes me feel better about the upcoming changes.  Until then, I’ll be maximizing my shut-eye as much as possible, thankyouverymuch.  I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it.

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Your turn!  Where did your baby sleep?  Did you and your partner always share a bed when the baby was brand new or did one of you sleep in another room?

Read all my pregnancy updates here.

{ 106 comments }

 

Leave a Comment

  • Rachel F. May 2, 2012, 1:41 pm

    You look so lovely.

    Reply
  • beatrice May 2, 2012, 1:42 pm

    oh haha you’re so happy, i really wanna mail you some baby gift so that your baby will know love on earth!!!

    Reply
  • Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) May 2, 2012, 1:43 pm

    We did have out babies sleep with us some and in the crib some too (in our room). I think it’s great that you guys are talking through these things knowing that things may change once you’re in the situation. Sleep deprivation is no fun, but an unfortunate part of being a new parent. Hopefully baby HTP will be on board with the plans!

    Reply
  • Lydia May 2, 2012, 1:44 pm

    I think it would be difficult to determine sleeping arrangements. I, too, need a full 8 hours to function very well!

    You’ve armed yourself with a plan, and that’s all you can do at this point!

    Reply
  • Kristin point May 2, 2012, 1:44 pm

    My daughter isabelle is 8 weeks ad sleeps right next to our bed in the snugabunny rock n play sleeper. She looooves it. I love not needing o get out of bed to feed her at night! After her 5 or 6am feed I often take her into bed w me and we fall asleep together if were alone since my fiancé is a fisherman and he usually leaves at 4 am for trips. More often then I’d like to admit he ends up sleeping on the very comfy couch bc he doesn’t want to be woken up by the babe. Now that she only gets up 1 x per night he’s on the couch less haha. Before I had Izzy I thought I’d never co sleep and she would go straight to the crib! HAHA yeah right she hates it and I still get teary thinking of her all alone in that big crib! I will keep her close in the rock n play until she grows out of it at 25 lbs or until she can pull herself up. I love having her close when I sleep!

    Reply
    • Kristin point May 2, 2012, 1:50 pm

      I forgot to mention that being a new mom doesn’t mean instant sleep deprivation! Izzy is for the most part a good sleeper. She was sleeping through the night the first few weeks. Now she gets up to eat 1, sometimes 2 times a night. Down at 10, up btwn. 3-5 and sleeps until 7 or 8. She gets up just to eat and diaper change then she goes right back to sleep. When I went into work the week after I had her to add her to my insurance everyone kept saying I looked so refreshed and relaxed lol.

      Reply
  • Lauri May 2, 2012, 1:46 pm

    I was pretty firm about not having our baby in bed with us and I stuck to it. For the first few nights at home he literally slept on the floor next to our bed, in the bouncy seat! (The bassinet didn’t work out) However, after about a week, we were not sleeping because we were waking up and tending to him for every single noise, wimper, rustle, movement, etc. So I moved him to the crib, just down the hall. I was a pretty clueless first time mom, and very naive. I didn’t think about sids or anything like that, I just wanted what was best for him and us. And it worked out. he has always been an amazing sleeper, got used to the crib from the get go, and we never had to break him of anything or transition to the crib. It was what worked best for all of us.

    With all of that said, I think if we were to have another one, I may try the bassinet in our room. I think I worry moe now than i ever did when our son (now 4 1/2) was a baby! Maybe I read more now?

    Reply
  • Jamie May 2, 2012, 1:47 pm

    I was a single mom when my son was born. He had a bassinette right by my bed but I will admit that he slept in my bed often until he was at least two. I was very careful about it and stay pretty still while I sleep. I know some people feel very strongly about this subject- but it worked for me at the time. This time I am actually planning a pregnancy and will have a partner to help me. I think we will do exactly what you are doing! Few months in our room then move to the crib, but no baby in the bed.

    Reply
  • Ally May 2, 2012, 1:49 pm

    I think 93% of Indian children bed share because most of the country is still below the poverty line, and they don’t have more than one bed per family (and i use the word ‘bed’ broadly– mostly it’s just a makeshift bed with blankets etc).. i wouldn’t really say that is a choice they are making, but more a necessity than anything else. Just wanted to put my 2 cents in, since I’m Indian!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP May 2, 2012, 1:53 pm

      Good point – I’m sure that bed-sharing is higher in any city and in all lower-income groups because of space issues!

      Reply
  • Alyse May 2, 2012, 1:49 pm

    I really love the maternity dresses. I was showing my mom the pictures from your maternity shoot and she really liked the light blue dress. She said back when she was pregnant it was all about “not advertising” your bump and she missed out on wearing fun bump enhancing clothes.

    ANYWAY, the dresses are great and you look lovely.

    No babies so no wisdom on that front.

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP May 2, 2012, 1:54 pm

      :) Thanks!

      Reply
    • Catherine May 2, 2012, 2:42 pm

      My mom said the same thing! When she was pregnant (in the mid 80s), pregnant women wore baggy shirts to hide their bumps. We went shopping for maternity clothes a couple months ago, and she loved the new maternity styles. Some things I do and wear still surprise her. I met up with her at the beach last weekend, and you should have seen the look on her face when I got out of the car in a bikini with my 33 week bump!

      Reply
  • Colleen May 2, 2012, 1:55 pm

    All three of our kids slept in our room in a pack-n-play bassinet. It helped with those first few weeks (2 months). I also did the bed-sharing thing. There were some nights that nursing sitting up wasn’t working (picture me falling asleep and bolting awake to see if I dropped the baby-never happened but I was paranoid), so I would do the laying down position and if we both fell asleep I wasn’t nervous. I was also never nervous about rolling over the baby those nights. I crashed hard, but always had a sense of where the baby was.

    Reply
  • MK May 2, 2012, 1:58 pm

    At the risk of receiving lots of “you are insane” comments, I’m here to say I brought both my babies (3 years apart) to our communal bed (I’m from India and that’s just the way our family did it) from the day they were born. Never rolled over on either of them; never had bedcovers cover them, never feared suffocating them, etc. I nursed one for 3 1/2 years, the other for 2 1/2 and having them in bed with me/us was so easy. Often, I sensed when they needed changing, wanted to nurse, etc. They slept with us until they were close to 6 and 7. They are in their own beds now and very well-adjusted, independent, and happy kiddos (10 & 13). Not saying you should do what I did. Do what works well for you — you’ve already considered all the options — just wanted to add my somewhat different path. :) Oh, and yes, we had to get a king-sized bed!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP May 2, 2012, 1:59 pm

      I don’t think you are insane :)

      My friend slept with his mom and dad until he was 4.

      Reply
  • Gretchen @ Honey, I Shrunk the Gretchen! May 2, 2012, 1:58 pm

    This kind of stuff is so fascinating for me to read — even though I am ages (and ages and ages and ages, God-willing) away from motherhood myself. It’s all stuff I never would have thought about before reading about someone else going through their own pregnancy journey!

    Reply
    • Amy May 3, 2012, 2:08 pm

      I thought our first baby would sleep in the bassinet, but I found breastfeeding much easier with her in the bed. Honestly, I felt guilty about it at the time, but now I know you just have to do what works best for you and your baby. I am a very light sleeper and was much more restful with with her in the bed, and breastfeeding is a breeze!

      Reply
  • Morgan May 2, 2012, 1:59 pm

    My baby is a really bad sleeper. For that reason, we bed-share. She sleeps better when she’s next to us and we sleep better because we’re not constantly in and out of bed.

    We had a “plan” before she was born that she would sleep in a pack n play in our room for 6 weeks and then go to her crib. She hates the pack n play so that didn’t work out. And she’s 5 months old and still in our bed. Having a plan works for some, but not for us!!

    Reply
  • Anne @ strawberryjampackedlife May 2, 2012, 2:02 pm

    Have you ever listened to Bill Cosby’s stand-up (the family kind, not the raunchy kind)? There’s one where he talks about how the youngest child sleeps in the bed until they leave the house. Well his 22 year old brother is still sleeping in his parents’ bed, so his parents send him out for pizza at 2am for *nudge*nudge*wink*wink*.

    Reply
  • Kelly May 2, 2012, 2:03 pm

    I love how you share your personal choices with us…even when some are super controversial. When I was pregnant with my first child, I said I would NOT let them sleep in my bed…but after 3 nights of waking up multiple times to nurse him…I changed my mind! I would lay him on top of a pillow while I laid on my side and nursed him and when he fell asleep…so did I! My children are 15 and 12 now and I can tell you one thing for sure…its amazing how your views on certain subjects will change once your child is born! I am looking forward to your posts after the baby is born and hopefully lots of pic! :)

    Reply
  • Sarah May 2, 2012, 2:08 pm

    Disclaimer, don’t read this post if you are pro bed-sharing. It’s kind of a horrible story. The main reason we are NOT bed-sharing ever, is because we had a kitten who died in bed with us about five years ago. I know a 2-5 pound kitten is not a baby, but I also know we are serious, intense cat-lovers who would never intentionally harm an animal, and that in this case, one of us just slept too soundly to notice the cat was being suffocated. So. No babies in the bed for us. I know some mothers say they have a sixth sense for their babies and sleep very lightly in bed, but I would have said the same for an animal. We were so traumatized when that happened that we vowed that, if the time came for kids, they would never sleep with us. If you are a card carrying member of PETA, please don’t think we are vile. We love our pets more than anything, but I just tell this story to illustrate a point. You never know how you sleep, really.

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP May 2, 2012, 2:10 pm

      Oh my god, you poooooooooooooor thing. What a horrible experience for you :(

      Reply
    • olympia May 2, 2012, 8:54 pm

      Oh, that story is so heartbreaking! I can’t imagine. It sounds like you were just so unlucky. Do you let your animals sleep with you now?

      Reply
      • Sarah May 3, 2012, 4:24 am

        One of them does sleep with us now but at this stage our cats are 6-7 years old and weigh 15+ pounds and is very feisty. I think it was just the fact that it was a small kitten and, I don’t know, maybe it’s possible there’s a cat version of SIDS? We don’t know exactly how it happened. Neither of us consider ourselves to be heavy sleepers etc. My point is, even if you think you are hyper aware of someone/something in bed with you, or that you’d “know” something was wrong, that isn’t always the case.

        Reply
  • Crystal May 2, 2012, 2:09 pm

    We bed shared (check out James McKenna’s research) full time for 18 months with each kid, then started transitioning them to their own room. It was a lot easier with the second kid b/c she didn’t have to go from sharing a bed with DH and me to alone, she sleeps with her sister now. DH slept in out room full time for the first month so he could do all the night time diaper changes, but after that he’d sleep in the spare room when he needed more sleep. It worked out fine for us b/c I can nap with the kids during the day and he can’t.

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  • Mari Bury May 2, 2012, 2:10 pm

    We did a combination of bassinet / our bed with our 3 kids…mostly for the first 6 months or so until their sleep patterns were good and then we moved them to their own room. I gotta tell you something though, there is nothing more sweet and special in the world than snuggling up with your baby and taking a little nap. At the end of the day, you have to do what is best for your family. I think that this journey of parenthood requires us to constantly shift our ideas and approaches to fit our purposes and current situation. Do what works for you guys and your little bean!

    Reply
  • Patti May 2, 2012, 2:14 pm

    I can’t believe I’m daring to put this in writing and of course would never “suggest” it, but both of my infants slept on my chest between feedings until they were 2-3 months old. They wanted to feed all night! I slept sitting up and they got to rest and bond :) I’ve always been a light sleeper so I was comfortable with that. We transitioned them to the bed between us a 3 months old or so. They sell a little protective thingy to put around them so you won’t roll over on them. I didn’t work for 12 weeks so I could always nap when the baby did so that made up for my lack of sleep during the night. I say do what works (literally), and you feel comfortable with (literally). Of course I should state that at 4 and 6 years old, both still want to sleep with me every night – be careful! ;)

    Reply
  • Tara May 2, 2012, 2:16 pm

    The first few weeks our little guy slept in our room in a rock-n-play sleeper (seriously the greatest invention ever!) However, after a few weeks of getting absolutely no sleep because every little peep he made would wake us up (and he made a lot of peeps in his sleep), we started switching off nights where one of us would sleep upstairs with the baby and one of us would get a good night’s rest in the guestroom. I had a lot of BF issues, so by that time he was already on a bottle so feeding wasn’t an issue. At 7 weeks we transitioned the rock-n-play sleeper into his room and he started sleeping through the night two days later. We moved him into his official crib by 8 weeks! I really think flexibility and testing out different options can be good. I swore he’d sleep with us until SIDS wasn’t a risk because I was so nervous, but then realized that wasn’t an ideal situation for any of us. It’s all a learning experience, but so worth every sleepless minute! :)

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  • Lissa May 2, 2012, 2:17 pm

    You look gorgeous! Our bedroom is right next door to Maya’s, so for the first month she slept in the pack ‘n play in our room and then at the one month mark, we moved her to her crib because babies are NOISY and as it was, I was barely sleeping and hearing her every grunt/squeak/etc made for some difficult nights, not to mention recovering from a C-section and nursing through the night.

    I have to say, she loved her crib and we have never looked back. She still snuggles with us during weekend mornings in our bed (she’s 16 mths now) but co-sleeping just wasn’t for us. Aside from it being dangerous, new parents need their space … and time alone as a couple.

    I swear, those first 6-8 weeks are a giant blur! After that, it’s (relatively) smooth sailing. Sleep is key, and you do end up getting more sleep the older they get.

    Reply
  • Amanda May 2, 2012, 2:20 pm

    When both of mine were first born they slept in a pack n play next to me in our room. They both napped in their cribs, in their rooms. We only did that for a few weeks (3-6), and then they went to their room. I didn’t have a set time limit for them being in our room, I guess once we were all a little more settled and they were sleeping a little better it just felt right to transistion.

    Hopefully your hubs won’t have to sleep apart from you too much, maybe BabyHTP will be a good sleeper and he won’t feel the need :))

    Reply
  • Duffy May 2, 2012, 2:20 pm

    I’m not a doctor, but my brother is a pediatric surgeon and he sees honestly the worst of the worst in terms of baby disasters. Sometimes I talk to him about things like this, and he always points out one thing: the infant mortality rate in the US is lower than African and Asian countries for a reason. If you just look at this breakdown, you see a very dramatic difference between the number of SIDS deaths in the US and then in India and China.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_infant_mortality_rate

    I believe every family sets their own rules when it comes to parenting, and that’s what makes this whole experience so exciting (we have our first coming in August). But when it comes to sharing a bed with an infant under 6 months old, my husband and I just say no way. Bassinets can be right next to your bed, and you can breastfeed easily right there. But with an infant, you always want to maintain some level of control. And if you’re zonked out, sound asleep, you don’t have that control. And horrible things can happen (seriously, just ask my brother).

    Reply
    • Liz May 2, 2012, 4:44 pm

      Yep! One of my best friends is a pediatric ICU nurse and she has some terrible terrible stories about bed sharing. I understand it might be “easier” for some people and at some point you just have to do what you gotta do, but this is a non-negotiable for my husband and I. I know it usually works out just fine for most families, but accidents happen and I know I would NEVER forgive myself.

      We are also expecting in August. We have a pack ‘n play with a bassinet next to our bed that we’ll try for the first little while, then to the crib.

      Reply
  • Leslie May 2, 2012, 2:27 pm

    We, too, chose the bassinet in our room at first. Those first few weeks were tough though. She didn’t really sleep that much at night and kept my husband (the working one–I’m officially a sahm, haha) awake. I took her into her nursery (not on a different floor like you…at that point I would have probably fallen asleep on the stairs) so we would keep the noise to a minimum. Sometimes, when I knew he had a big day, I’d sleep in her floor. Not ideal to say the least.

    At 4 weeks I moved her to her crib and it was like magic. Everyone slept better. She’s a loud sleeper (lots of grunting) so we found that the sleep we were getting was much more restful.

    Anyway, to sum my opinion up, I couldn’t imagine having my newborn sleep anywhere other than right by my side–whether in a bassinet or my bed–but after we all got the hang of things and I felt she was big enough, I can’t imagine her sleeping in my room. Don’t get me wrong, she does sleep in my bed for an hour or so every morning do I can get a bit more sleep (she wakes up hungry, eats and goes back to sleep).

    It’s great that you have a plan but be ready for lots of surprises and changes. Baby sleep is incredibly unpredictable.

    Reply
  • Kate @ life's precious moments May 2, 2012, 2:34 pm

    I can’t believe you are 34 weeks! I have been reading your blog for about a year now and the time has certainly flown on my end. I am sure it is a great feeling to have a set plan in place :)

    Reply
  • AJ May 2, 2012, 2:37 pm

    My daughter slept next to our bed in a rock-and-play sleeper or a co-sleeper (we had both – thanks hand-me-downs!) till 5.5 months and then we moved her to her crib. At first I would get out of bed to feed her in the rocker, but then probably at 2 months I started just bringing her into bed with us to nurse. We would sometimes both fall asleep while she was nursing and she ended up sleeping in the bed with us. When that happened it was never for more than a half hour and then I would move her back. I didn’t happen too often but it happened and was fine. And kinda nice.

    Reply
  • Jen May 2, 2012, 2:44 pm

    You’re definitely not getting the “worst end of the deal” if you BF for the first 4-6 weeks. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, it can be painful. But, trust me, if you can get through the first 3 weeks, you’ll be SO thankful that you did it. It’s worth every single lost hour of sleep and every single tear shed.

    We tried sharing the bed with our baby and it was ok for a few nights but then we started swaddling her in a Woombie and she started sleeping for long stretches in her crib. Sharing the bed can be difficult for light sleepers. None of us slept very well. Her crib was only about 20 feet from our bed, though.

    Reply
  • Marlen May 2, 2012, 2:52 pm

    Can I ask where you found your bassinet?? I have been searching for one but nothing has really jumped out at me. We are expecting out 2nd in August. With our first, we used a pack-&-play but it was way to bulky.

    Thanks!!

    P.S. You look awesome!!!!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP May 2, 2012, 2:53 pm

      We borrowed it from a friend who had her baby about 17 months ago – have you tried asking friends yet?

      Reply
      • Marlen May 2, 2012, 2:59 pm

        No actually. A lot of our friends have kids but since have gotten rid of their stuff since they are done with kids. Yours just looked so cute!! :)

        Reply
  • Susan May 2, 2012, 2:56 pm

    We are bed-sharing. The crib is right next to our bed, but our son was only 4lbs when he was born, so with almost constant breastfeeding in the beginning, he just ended up in our bed two days after we came home from the hospital. Makes breastfeeding at night so much easier, and our son usually goes right back to sleep after nursing a little bit. At 8 months he is still in our bed, and I’m ok with that, however I am able to stay at home. If I had to work, I might consider moving him into the crib next to us, just to be able to sleep in a more comfortable position and rest better, although for now he can stay in our bed.
    My husband on the other hand usually falls asleep (for the past few years…) on the sofa with his other wife – the TV…

    Reply
  • Lu May 2, 2012, 2:59 pm

    I literally had my son right next to me in a bassinet for 6 months. It was really easy for me to get up and take care of him this way. We never did bed-sharing. He would take naps in his crib and pack-n-play and it worked out fine. I introduced a bottle sooner than 4 weeks. I know, I know… It worked for us. I had to pump pretty much all the time when he wasn’t feeding. Let’s just say I had issues. It won’t take very long for you to figure out what works for you and Kristien.

    Reply
  • Kara May 2, 2012, 3:00 pm

    My main takeaway here: You poor fucker for having the baby on a different floor from you. My kid will be 2 next month and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to stumble down the hall to retrieve a lost toy (from under a blanket) or to just rub her back quickly when she’s had a bad dream. If I had to run up and down the stairs, I would lose my mind, mostly because it’s already hard to fall back asleep but RUNNING up stairs because the kid is screaming bloody murder about not finding their stupid freaking musical seahorse will really wake you up. Also, sleeping with a monitor would blow chunks. My kid regularly wakes up in the middle of the night and chats with her stuffed animal and giggles and that won’t normally wake me up (but it wakes up my husband) since it’s down the hall, but if I had a monitor it would wake me up.

    Also, I had my kid next to me (in a bassinet) for 4 weeks before I couldn’t take it anymore because she was so NOISY when she slept. I mean, a wide range of noises. She snored, she grunted, she even cooed in her sleep. Each noise jolted me awake, so I had to evict her to her own room. Maybe you’ll have a quieter baby?

    I slept better once I had the baby than I did when I was pregnant if that helps at all.

    Reply
  • Anne Weber-Falk May 2, 2012, 3:00 pm

    Both of my infant children slept in a bassinet for a few months at night with us nearby. Naps were in their own room in the crib. On the rare (lucky me!) night that baby wouldn’t or couldn’t sleep they came into bed with us. When the children became toddlers they stayed in their own beds. It was too many sleepless nights otherwise because they kick and turn every which way and I couldn’t get a good night of sleep.

    Reply
  • AmberJames May 2, 2012, 3:06 pm

    Cute dress today and the one at the baby shower. Where did you get them?

    Reply
  • Jenny May 2, 2012, 3:10 pm

    Your plan is pretty much exactly what we did, and it worked great. It sucks to sleep seperate for awhile, but so worth it if one of you is getting enough sleep! I can’t recommend enough putting baby in her “big girl” crib for naps. It gets her used to napping and sleeping in her own crib. I highly recommend the book “Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child”.

    Reply
  • Reenie May 2, 2012, 3:14 pm

    Oh, your nursery looks sooo cute in the sneak peek pic. You look lovely….and I can’t believe it’s almost baby time!! xo

    Reply
  • Sara May 2, 2012, 3:14 pm

    Seems like just yesterday you announced you were expecting!

    Reply
  • Lisa (bakebikeblog) May 2, 2012, 3:17 pm

    C sleeps in a bassinet beside our bed and I have no plans to move her to the nursery just yet.

    Before she was born, I too was worried about the lack of sleep. I won’t say it is easy, but it is ok. I think the body just adapts!!!

    Reply
  • Angie All The Way May 2, 2012, 3:24 pm

    I think you have a really great and realistic game plan going into the “unknown”. We never know what kind of sleepers our babies will be until the time comes and it’s good to have a game plan for whatever it may be!

    I took the same advice about when to introduce the bottle and it worked out really well. He had zero issues switching back and forth from breast to bottle.

    My little guy was a TERRIBLE sleeper as an infant. He slept in a bassinet beside our bed for the first 4 mths. Intentions were for 6, but he was getting too long for the bassinet and then one night I just got up the courage to put him in his crib instead of his bassinet at around 4 mths. I was really nervous at first, but it turned out to be a really positive thing because we no longer had to tip toe into our room at night! lol

    I was too nervous to have him in our bed for all of the reasons you have researched, HOWEVER, at around the 8 week mark, amidst sobbing at 4a.m., there was a 2 wk period where the only way I could get a chance at any semblance of sleep was to snuggle him in my arms near my breast where he fed on demand with the least amount of disruption as possible. With that said, I say “semblance” because it was like I was on “stand by” rather than sleep. I was hyper sensitive to his ever breath and movement, but at that point, it was still more rest than going through the whole song and dance every 2 hrs for the 45 routine out of bed.

    We got through it, we did what we had to for us, and you will too :-)

    Reply
  • AmandaonMaui May 2, 2012, 3:34 pm

    You were an adult already. Being pregnant, giving birth, and raising a child do not make you an adult. I do not have children, I do not intend to have children. Does that make me not an adult? What if someone is incapable of having children? Does that mean they will never be an adult?

    Your comment really stuck out to me. I know you didn’t intend to hurt anyone with it, but it stood out a bit.

    Reply
    • Leah May 2, 2012, 4:54 pm

      I don’t think she meant to offend, nor was she saying you are not an adult. But when reality hits at the end of a pregnancy that you are about to be responsible for keep another human alive is kind of heavy…and makes you feel a little different than you ever felt!

      Reply
  • Alex @ Raw Recovery May 2, 2012, 3:42 pm

    You are so gorgeous, Caitlin! I’m so happy you did maternity photos because they turned out amazing and I think it will be a nice thing to remember. My cousin had a natural, water-birth and she and her husband are very big into holistic health care. The baby was even born two weeks late (which we all worried about), but she came out the calmest, happiest baby I’ve ever seen. I really think that all of their work about eating right and going a holistic route and breastfeeding really made a difference and they were lucky that by a few months, their daughter slept all night! They’re having their second child in June, so we’ll see if they get that lucky the second time around. I can’t wait to see if you are having a boy or a girl!! I’m glad you are feeling well!

    Reply
  • Crystal May 2, 2012, 3:43 pm

    Side note: make sure you check out safe bed sharing in case you do end up doing it. I don’t know any parents who haven’t at least one night in their child’s life. It’s so much easier in the summer when you don’t have comforters. Winter cosleeping can suck.

    http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

    Reply
  • Marci May 2, 2012, 3:44 pm

    So fascinating! I started him in the crib on the first night home from the hospital. He hasn’t left at night! Bassinet in our room isn’t for us. He actually has been a great sleeper since the beginning, and I would really not like hearing all his noises, etc. all night. My husband has the monitor on his side so I don’t have to hear it! Makes me too anxious.
    Also, it’s harder for me to get him in the crib in the daytime because he likes sleeping in motion. Like bouncer seat, swing, Bjorn.
    And we started pumped bottles like at Week 2. My baby will take milk in any form from anyone! I do one bottle per day, usually the overnight feeding.

    Reply
  • Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength May 2, 2012, 3:46 pm

    Like all things baby related I think it’s great that you have such a detailed plan, but my guess is things will not be the same from one week to the next. :) As long as you’re willing to go with it I think you’ll be fine. We usually had our son in the bassinet next to me and I was in charge of mostly all night feedings since I was on maternity leave (and breastfeeding) and my husband was up early working. We moved him to the crib around 7 or 8 weeks I think in order to get him ready for when I went back to work. I think it will also depend on what kind of sleeper you have. I was blessed with a baby who slept really well and was sleeping through the night fairly fast. That will probably play a big part in your decisions. :)

    Reply
  • Kattrina May 2, 2012, 3:46 pm

    I am pregnant now so can’t say I’ve done anything myself. However, my sister slept with her baby in her bed for a long time. She bought a little snuggle nest (you put it in the bed but it has sides so you don’t roll over it) and it worked really well. She loved having the baby in the bed with her because she hated getting up). The only problem was that her and her husband like to watch TV when they fall asleep so it wasn’t the best sleeping arrangement for the baby. And they weren’t very good at kicking the kid out of the bed so she still sleeps in their room in a toddler bed! They have another girl who sleeps in a crib in her own bed (after six months in their room) and has no problem sleeping, so maybe it is just the one child’s personality.

    My husband and I were going to stay in our one-bedroom apartment and so the baby was definitely going to be in our room. However, we just decided to get a two-bedroom so the baby will eventually have his own room. We’ll probably keep the baby in our room for the first six months though. My husband comes from a culture where EVERYONE sleeps in the same room/bed, so he doesn’t find it strange. His whole life growing up he slept in the same room as his two aunts, mom, sister, brother, and some nieces and nephews. He seems to have turned out fine!

    Reply
  • Kathleen Ojo @ Onward; Inward May 2, 2012, 3:50 pm

    It’s really interesting to read all these different responses! I’m due in July and plan to have the baby sleep in our room in a Pack and Play for a while before transitioning to a crib. However, my husband will have to go back to work right away and I don’t like the thought of him making a long commute in hideous SoCal traffic with no sleep. We have a double bed in our nursery, so I do plan on sleeping in there with the baby some/most work nights. I might get one of those co-sleeper thingies that sits in the bed with you, or just use the Pack and Play, depending.

    Thanks for sharing! You look FABULOUS!

    Reply
  • KatieTX May 2, 2012, 3:54 pm

    Based on your belly in that picture, my official guess is that you are having a girl! Can’t wait to see what you have either way. This makes me want to wait and find out. It just adds to the anticipation of the baby coming.

    Reply
  • HSieg24 May 2, 2012, 3:55 pm

    My LO is almost 5 months old now and I must say that before she was born we thought we had all the sleeping arrangements figured out too, but then reality hit…

    She hated her bassinet from the get-go. She hated her crib too. She did not like to lay flat on her back and rolled around on it like a little turtle and woke herself up. (Knowing what I do now, this is a reflux issue, not liking to lay flat on their backs).

    FINALLY we found the Rock n Play Sleeper – and she loved it. That was the best thing ever for the first few months.

    Now that she’s bigger and likes to stretch out I use the Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed. We both have our separate sleeping spaces but she is right there so that if she needs to eat in the middle of the night she’s within arm’s reach.

    I won’t say it’s been easy, but occasionally if she’s feeling needy I still have to hold her all night in my arms in the recliner. I’m not advising people to do this, but you have to do what’s right for you and baby so you both can sleep. You’ll figure it out – all babies are different and it’s trial and error. You might want to invest in Amazon Prime so that when you are desperate to try those new baby items they will be there in 2 days – it was a miracle for us. Good luck!

    Reply
    • HSieg24 May 2, 2012, 3:57 pm

      Forgot to mention that my hubby also likes to have the TV on all night and with baby trying to sleep this didn’t work. He’s been sleeping in the guest room and while it’s not ideal for long-term, it’s working well for us so that we all can rest better.

      Reply
  • Cindi May 2, 2012, 3:55 pm

    We had similar sleeping arrangements. Molly slept in our room in a bassinet for 12 weeks, then I moved her into her crib. Hubby slept in guest room during that time because he had to function at work & since I exclusively breast feed, it just made sense for him to get his sleep!

    Reply
  • Jen May 2, 2012, 3:56 pm

    Our current game plan is to have the baby sleep in his or her own room. We also have a twin bed in there so if one of us feels the need or if I’m frequently getting up to BF I can just sleep in there as needed. My husband will have to be working at the beginning of my maternity leave so we feel its best he get some sleep. But like you said, it’s just our plan and we’re willing to adapt as necessary once the baby finally arrives. Good Luck!

    Reply
  • Lauren May 2, 2012, 3:58 pm

    We had a cosleeper next to my side of the bed for easy access for feeding but moved my son to his crib around 6 weeks. It may be early for some but it was right for us. I actually slept in his room for awhile but he was completely on his own at 3 months. My husband is in the music industry so has a crazy schedule so he needed his sleep when he got it. But now my sin is 2 and we’re thinking about doing it all over again and I’m pretty sure I’ll never sleep again ;)

    Reply
  • SaraJoan May 2, 2012, 4:05 pm

    When I was where you are now, my SIL (also pregnant) and I had a very sincere comment about how the babies were NOT going to sleep in the bed with us, though we would do all we could to make it safe if we happened to fall asleep with them there. We had cribs and bassinets all ready.

    All eight of our kids (we’ve each had four) have slept in bed with mom and dad for the first couple years of their life. Parenting has taught me not to make predictions, if nothing else.

    Our arrangement is that dad is at home, I work full time outside the home. I’ve breastfed our kids at least 2.5 years each (the youngest and last is just past 6 months). Having them sleep anywhere but in the bed with us wouldn’t have worked, because I did reverse cycle feeding with each (i.e., they had their longer stretches of not nursing when I’m at the office rather than at night).

    That being said, I strongly believe everyone needs to find the safe solution that works for THEM (not me). If your pups are used to sleeping on the bed, that may preclude the baby sleeping there. I’d second checking out James McKenna’s website for info on bed sharing, if you’re at all interested in reading more on the topic: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/.

    Reply
  • Kim May 2, 2012, 4:06 pm

    Our daughter, Joycelen, slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 6 weeks. After that point, she was sleeping thru the night so we moved her to the crib in her nursery. However, we kep the bassinet up until she was 6 months – using it for the rare times when she woke up during the night, during rough weather (I hated the thought of her sleeping in her room during a thunderstorm) and when she had a sinus infection. My husband and I shared the same bed since he has the uncanny ability to sleep thru anything.

    Having a plan is great idea. It helps to relieve some of the anxiety and stress that comes with those first few days.

    Reply
  • Rebecca May 2, 2012, 4:06 pm

    I’m pretty sure I slept in the crib. I don’t think my parents ever had me sleep in their bed with them. But then, all three of the bedrooms in our house are on the same level and in the same corner of the house, so it worked fine. I had a heart monitor for the first few weeks/months because of preemie stuff, but I’m pretty sure that was the only real big issue.
    While I was house-sitting last year, the dog and the cat both wanted to sleep in the bed with me. I was so paranoid that I would roll over on them or kick them or something–luckily that never happened. Or, they didn’t seem to be bothered.
    I had trouble sharing a bed with my sister when we would sleep over at Grandma’s house, so if/when I have kids, I don’t think they’re sharing my bed with me…

    Reply
  • Kelley May 2, 2012, 4:07 pm

    We’re having the baby sleep in our room in a pack n play for 4-6 weeks and then moving him/her to the crib after that. We learned that the reason sleeping in the parents room is safer than alone in a room is because the baby will hear all the breathing and rolling over and will prevent baby from falling into too deep of a sleep (which could lead to sids). So once the baby moves into his/her own room, they recommend some kind of white noise machine for a while for the same reason. So interesting!

    Reply
  • Heather May 2, 2012, 4:11 pm

    We wanted to keep our daughter in our room with us but as soon as we brought her home we realized it was not going to work! She was such a noisy sleeper that no one was getting any sleep. We ended up moving her to her crib in the nursery at 2 weeks and everyone was much happier!

    My husband and I usually went to bed in the same room but I would get up at night with Olivia and sometime would go back to the spare room after so I wouldnt keep waking him up. It worked out really well and by 4 months she was sleeping through the night and I was back in our bed :)

    Reply
  • Morgan May 2, 2012, 4:18 pm

    Our daughter slept in our room for 4 hours her first night home from the hospital before I couldn’t take it anymore and moved her to the nursery lol. I actually really wanted her to sleep in our room for all of the reasons you mentioned. It turns out I was too neurotic to listen to newborn baby breathing all night. I seriously got up every 3-4 minutes to check on her (new babies sound like they stop breathing and then they will gasp etc, all perfectly normal). Our nursery was right next door though, I may have tried harder if I was going to have to go up and down the steps. So the hubs and I shared a bed and she has been sleeping in her crib since halfway through the first night:)

    Like you, I need my sleep and was not sure how I would function, but we were very lucky to have a great sleeper and a relatively easy time with breastfeeding. So, I never felt that sleep deprived even though I was always the one to get up with her (my husband is a pilot, definitely not someone who can go into work sleep deprived). I would say I was only really tired the first month, by 4 weeks old I was only up with her once a night and by the time she was 8 weeks she was sleeping 11-12 hours. That is all luck, not parenting skill, so I am not sure how to recreate it:-)

    Reply
  • Kendra @ My Full-Thyme Life May 2, 2012, 4:43 pm

    First off, you look sunning! I love your look of happiness and contentment. Simply lovely. As for our sleeping arrangements… The hubby and I did our research too and felt that having Baby Boy in the bed with us was not a good fit for us. We decided on the bassinet next to the bed. I was great, at first.

    I wasn’t truley getting restful sleep. Every little whimper or tiny noise had me on edge. We decided to move him to his crib in the nursery (which is right next to our room) by week 6… or was it week 8… can’t quite remember! Anyway, I remember crying myself to sleep the night we moved him to the crib. I cried because my tiny peanut was sleeping in his seemingly enormous crib all by his lonesome. I cried because maybe he should have been sleeping in bed with us. I cried because I was a terrible mom for not having him in an arms reach. I cried, and cried, and… had the best night sleep of my life!!! Best. Decision. Ever.

    I leave you with these three nuggets of advice. Do with them what you will:
    1) Always do what is best for you, the hubs, and baby HTP.
    2) Always CHARGE the monitor when you are not using it. Waking up to a screaming infant having no idea how long they were crying for is NOT a good feeling. Mom, FAIL.
    3) Always make sure wherever your baby is set down to rest that they are in a safe place. Seems like common sense, right? Trust me… I learned the hard way – http://www.myfullthymelife.blogspot.com/2012/02/it-happens.html

    Good luck! Sweet dreams!;)

    Reply
  • Earthy Nicole May 2, 2012, 4:50 pm

    I never in a million years thought I would bed-share but that’s how it ended up! The first night in the hospital, I stayed awake holding my baby because not only would she sleep in the bassinet but I just didn’t want to put her down. She had been in my belly so long, it felt unnatural to have her away from me. When we brought her home, we tried putting her in her crib in our room, moving it closer and closer to our bed so she would sleep in it but never would. So I ended up holding her in a chair all the time and didn’t sleep for nearly a week because I was so afraid to lay down with her for all the fear that had been instilled in me about bed-sharing. I finally gave in and tried laying down with her and it was amazing. Somehow I was able to get decent sleep while not moving an inch. It occurred to me that it felt the most natural to have her close to me and so she slept with me for nearly her entire first year. My husband was deployed when she turned 5 weeks old so once he was gone it was just the two of us but before he left, he did sleep in the bed too.

    Reply
  • Leah May 2, 2012, 4:51 pm

    We did crib in her room from day 1…I figured if I was going to be getting up to nurse/change diapers, might as well just have her in her own room, then we wouldn’t have to make the transition later. I also tried to keep her in our room 1 night and couldn’t go to sleep because of all of her baby noises, haha! Once she got her days/nights figured out she was an AWESOME sleeper and would go 4ish hours, then started sleeping 12 hours at 10 weeks, which she still does now at 7 months (along with two, 2+ hour naps…all in her crib).

    That’s what worked/is working for us!

    Reply
  • Katheryn May 2, 2012, 4:55 pm

    I’m due with #3 on Sunday. We plan on doing the same thing with this one that we did with the other two. Baby sleeps in our room in a bassinet for the first 4-6 months. Both hubby and I still sleep in the room. Hubs is a deep sleeper, and I’m an ultra light sleeper, so hubby rarely gets awakened. Works for us.

    Reply
  • Stacy May 2, 2012, 4:58 pm

    I don’t recommend bed sharing…my aunt and uncle did that, and now, they have a 10 year old and 8 year old who still want to sleep with them, and sometimes they give in. Not saying the kids aren’t adjusted, just saying I think it’s better to have some, um, privacy?

    Reply
  • Diana @ frontyardfoodie May 2, 2012, 5:09 pm

    Yeah having the baby in our room for three months was definitely too long for our son. He started being more easily disturbed around two months old and we would wake him when we went to bed even if we kept the light off!

    When we moved him into his crib he slept 100 times better! I think with this next one (due in three weeks!) we’ll keep him in our room for more like two months. Our nursery is next door to our room though, I’m not sure how having it on another floor would affect our decisions on that matter.

    Don’t worry about sleep! Hormones keep you alert and going strong for the first couple months:) I thought I’d be a zombie but I slept SO much better after giving birth than I did while pregnant that it was a relief and getting up a couple times at night was no big deal at all.

    Reply
  • Stacie May 2, 2012, 5:38 pm

    Both my kids slept in a bassinet our room until 8 weeks. Then they were booted to the nursery (they were not tiny babies so at that point they were sleeping 12-6). Worked great for us!

    Reply
  • Heidi May 2, 2012, 5:41 pm

    Both of my kids-now 4.5 and 21 months-slept in an Arm’s Reach co-sleeper for the first 6 months. After that we switched between sleeping in the crib and bed-sharing-depending on the night. I think you ultimately need to do what works best for your family. Our method works for us, but I do have friends who disagree with it. Every family-and child-is different!

    Reply
  • lauren May 2, 2012, 5:42 pm

    I think it is great that you have a plan. We’re not trying yet, but I think a house with a first floor master could be so great – except for the newborn thing. They aren’t babies forever though!
    I think bassinets are a great idea, my mom’s a nurse and used them the first few months for my sisters and I 20+ years ago.
    I can function on very little sleep but I’m also a very deep sleeper. I’m guessing I’ll need a jostle to wake up, so he’ll definitely have to “suffer” along with me :) He wouldn’t go for sleeping apart anyway. I’m sure it’ll be a blast!

    Reply
  • kelly May 2, 2012, 5:50 pm

    My baby has slept in her crib since she was 2 weeks old. Before that she slept in a bassinet by our bed. Let me tell you, that first night in her crib was amazing!! Ugh, when she was in our room every little move that she made woke me up and I was so paranoid that she would stop breathing at any moment so I kept checking on her throughout the night. We have an Angelcare movement monitor, so I trusted that it would alarm if something was wrong and I actually was able to sleep!

    Reply
  • Lauren May 2, 2012, 6:48 pm

    Good for you Caitlin. I know so many women who insist that their husband stay in the room all night so they are both sleep deprived. I even know one woman who woke her husband at every feeding and made him stay awake with her just because she had to. It is hard to know your hubby is sleeping and you are not but it is much better to have one parent who is rested than both sleep deprived. He can let you sleep in on weekends :)

    Reply
    • Erin May 3, 2012, 1:06 pm

      Some husbands just WANT to stay in the room all night. Take mine for example, he wouldn’t sleep in the guest room even if I asked him too. The bassinet is on my side of the bed and he barely hears our son fuss or cry, so when I do get up to feed him he just continues on sleeping. I realize that not all people can sleep through that, but it seems to work for him. BUT, if I call his name and ask him to change a diaper, he jumps up and helps out. Its like he has radar to when he is needed. We decided early on that he would be the diaper changer (yes, even after he has gone back to work!) and I would be the feeder. I don’t understand how just because he “has to work” he gets except of taking care of the baby that we decided to have together, and he is of the same mindset.

      Besides, I would argue that taking care of a baby is wayyyyy harder than going to work.

      Reply
      • krista May 3, 2012, 1:30 pm

        Erin, my husband is the same. =)

        Reply
  • Katie @ Soulshine and Sassafras May 2, 2012, 6:56 pm

    Reading all your baby posts are so interesting! I never really thought about sleeping arrangements as being such an issue, but I can see how they clearly are. Also, you look BEAUTIFUL!

    Reply
  • Jessie @ Graze With Me May 2, 2012, 7:20 pm

    We have that exact same bassinet :).

    Our baby girl slept in it at the foot of our bed for 3 weeks. But once I talked w/a few ppl about what a *NOISY* sleeper she was, the recommendation was to get her in her own room since both she and I (& my husband) were waking each other up unnecessarily. So then for the next 3 weeks she slept in the bassinet in her nursery. Then, at 6 weeks, she started scooting up & smacking her head into the to of the bassinet. So one night I nursed her to sleep and on a whim, placed her in her crib. She’s been there ever since! (She’s 7.5 months now.)

    We have two cats though and they sleep with us so I knew that bed sharing was never an option. Some places are just for mom & dad, you know??

    So excited for you! You look great and I’m glad you’re stocking up on sleep.

    Reply
  • Jen@FoodFamilyFitness May 2, 2012, 7:28 pm

    My 3 were born by c-section and getting in and out of bed was really difficult, so I slept on the couch for the first month or so until I was completely healed up and the baby was in a pack and play next to the couch. After that, baby went in a crib in their room and husband and I slept in our bed. My youngest (who is 4 now) was nursing at least once a night until he was 13 months old when he weaned.
    All babies are different and just because we plan on one thing, doesn’t mean their plans will be the same :) So excited for you and your husband, now that my babies aren’t babies anymore, I’m actually missing the newborn phase…but not enough to ever do it again ;)

    Reply
  • Ali May 2, 2012, 7:33 pm

    Can I just congratulate you on saying “she or he” and “her or him”? It’s common to say both, but for some reason the male *always* comes first. I’m not crazy about political correctness or anything but if we’re being equal it makes sense to mix up the order now and then. So thanks for that :)

    Reply
  • Amy R. May 2, 2012, 8:20 pm

    Someone may have already mentioned this but have you looked into the Arm’s Reach Co-sleepers? They aren’t as cute as the bassinet (which it looks like you already have) but they are super handy for breastfeeding at night because you don’t have to get out of bed to feed the baby. Congratulations on your 34 weeks!

    Reply
  • Maura @ My Healthy 'Ohana May 2, 2012, 9:05 pm

    We had our daughter sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first 4 months, and then transitioned her to sleep in her own room. This was ideal in the beginning when she was feeding a lot and waking more frequently, so I just had to walk a few feet to nurse her. I second the Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper that someone else mentioned, then you don’t even have to get out of bed :) The only downside is that they are kind of pricey if you only plan to use it for a short time. I think it’s great that you guys are thinking about how to optimize your sleep arrangements already!!

    Reply
  • Brynn May 2, 2012, 9:17 pm

    Our daughter slept in the bassinet near my side of the bed for four weeks, then we moved her to the crib. It was great since I nursed and could grab her without getting fully out of bed :). Although a lot of my friends and their spouses slept in separate beds while their kids were little, that didn’t work for us. After giving my body to her all day, I needed to be snuggled and taken care of at night. You are going about this perfectly: making plans/goals, but knowing that flexibility will be important after the little nugget is born. Congrats!!

    Reply
  • Jen May 2, 2012, 10:15 pm

    Don’t have kids, don’t want kids…but I have to say, I think you look fantastic and I think you and the hubby are going to be great parents. You guys really seem to be focusing on the stuff that’s worth worrying about and I feel like you have realistic expectations of what parenthood is going to be like. BabyHTP is one lucky him-or-her!

    Reply
  • Gretchen May 2, 2012, 11:19 pm

    Its good to have a plan if it makes you feel more prepared, but you really have no idea where that kid is going to sleep best until he gets here. Before my son was born, I never even considered bed sharing. I just assumed he would sleep in a crib. He turned 1 yesterday and has never spent a night in his crib. He slept the first 4 months in an arms reach cosleeper, and I would have been nervous having him right in our bed when he was really tiny. One night around 4 months, not long after I’d gone back to work full time and desperate for sleep during multiple late night wake ups, I pulled him into bed with me and we both fell back to sleep nursing. From then on we all slept so much better with him in bed. My husband is a sound sleeper, and my son doesn’t move a lot or make much noise in his sleep, so its working. BUT, he has also never slept through the night because he’s used to nursing all night. So…not everyone is winning here. But I still love cuddling with him all night, especially since I work out of the home all day.

    Reply
  • Heather May 3, 2012, 12:53 am

    We did the bassinet and actually had his crib in our room for a while. I would be VERY careful with putting a small baby in bed to sleep with you. My husband works with the local coroners office and he’s picked up a few babies that have been rolled over on or that have wriggled into a space between the wall and bed and suffocated. It is horrific and happens more than you would think. Back to sleep out of mommy and daddy’s bed is the best, IMHO.

    Reply
  • Charity May 3, 2012, 6:30 am

    We plan on basically doing the same as you guys. Having our baby in a bassinet in our room for a few months at night, with putting him to nap in his crib through the days while I’m awake. If I nap at the same time as him I’ll put him in the bassinet as it will be easier to hear him when he’s right beside me. I will not be putting him in mommy and daddy’s bed because I’m afraid of the suffication factor (I love having blankets wrapped around my shoulders even in the heat of summer) Also we have a dog and a very fat cat (16 lbs) who love to squeeze inbetween mommy and daddy too. The cat also walks on us and I do not want her thinking that its ok or that she can walk on the baby.

    Reply
  • Lisa May 3, 2012, 9:38 am

    I have a 10 month old.
    Up till about 6 weeks old he slept in a bassinet beside me.
    One night during a feed I fell asleep with him and we both slept SO well!
    Now he starts the night off in his crib in his room (7pm-3am) at 3am I nurse him laying down in bed and we both drift off to sleep!
    It’s great!

    Reply
  • Sandy May 3, 2012, 11:53 am

    Dont be afraid to introduce bottles earlier. I exclusivley fed my babies breastmilk for the first 18 months of their lives. But they either drank it from me, or from the bottle, from the first week of their lives. They were happy to have it either way. I know it may not work for everyone, but it cant hurt to try. If your baby latches well I would go for it. Then you can sleep for longer than three hours those first couple of months. Woo Hoo!

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  • Allison May 3, 2012, 12:01 pm

    We had big plans for our first to sleep in a bassinet right next to our bed, but he made all these little noises and I couldn’t sleep. I kept checking on him. So after a couple of days, I would put him down in his crib to sleep and then when he woke up to eat I would feed him in our bed and then stick him in the bassinet right next to me. But we were really lucky because he would go right back to sleep and after the first week, he slept at least 4 hours and then at least another 4. He was over 10 lbs by 2 weeks, so we never needed to wake him up to feed. I was a milk machine. With my daughter, we just put her in her crib from the start and then I would get her to feed. She always wanted to play a little after she ate, so I would often hand her over to my husband at that point. I am SUPER cranky when I am tired. Both my kids were great sleepers though. Also, I exclusively gave my kids breast milk, but I had to pump and give my daughter milk in a bottle at 2 weeks because of bloody/scabby nipples (lazy latch). I went back to breastfeeding when things got better, but she had no problem going back and forth. I waited too long to introduce a bottle to my son and that was not good.

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  • Amber K May 3, 2012, 1:41 pm

    I am a total sleep wuss too, I just can’t function without sleeping! But I guess you just have to find a way to deal. I actually have to sleep in a separate room from my husband because otherwise he keeps me up the entire night. I’m like the world’s lightest sleeper. While it’s not ideal, I need to be able to sleep!

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  • Marissa C May 3, 2012, 3:50 pm

    Have you thought about an Arms-Reach Co-Sleeper? That’s what we have next to our bed–it’s like she’s in bed with us, but not really. A pack-n-play that has a similar setup is a good solution too.

    I love it because I heard her before she fully woke up and I could grab her and feed her without leaving my bed.

    She’s been there for 5 months now…we put her down by herself at night, around 5 am she starts stirring and I bring her in bed with us and she eats (the day I figured out how to breastfeed lying down was GLORIOUS) and spends the next couple hours in bed with us. She’s big enough now that I don’t worry about it so much anymore.

    But yes…since she was 2 months I have gotten A FULL NIGHT OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP almost every evening. I don’t have to fully wake up to feed her anymore…she pretty much “sleep eats.” I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but there is hope!

    Once she is able to pull up (probably another month) it will be time to either change the configuration of the co-sleeper so it is as deep as a pack n play or move her to a crib. I think we might keep her in our room until she is 1…we actually enjoy having her nearby. At the very least, we will continue the trend of letting her finish the night in our bed. We all really enjoy it…especially since we are away from her during the day.

    Good luck!

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  • Kerrie May 3, 2012, 4:39 pm

    Hi Caitlin! Been reading your blog since you did The Naked Face Project and am an avid reader now. Thank you for making the web a better place!
    My two daughters are now 9 and 11, but reading your post makes it seem like yesterday when we were in your shoes. Our girls both slept in a bassinet by our bed in the first weeks or so and then moved to their nursery down the hall. I breastfed each so it was easy for me to roll over and tend to them and have those awesome bonding moments without worrying who was sleeping where in our bed. That worked for us.
    If I’ve learned anything about being a parent, its that what works well for one family, may not work well for another. Its what makes your OWN family happy that is best. At the beginning, it takes a bit to figure out what does work well (and its always subject to change with a growing baby), but its all part of the fun! Exhausting fun, but fun non the less. Wishing you all the best!

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  • Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) May 3, 2012, 7:45 pm

    Clearly I’m way behind on the catch up game. We used a Moses basket (set up like a bassinet) by our bed to start and it was perfect. Our master and the nursery are on different levels, too, and I know I would have ended up sleeping on the floor if we tried the crib from the start.
    Most people I knew moved their babies out around 1-2 months, but I held off until around 3 months, then cried like a fool when we put in her own room. Then she slept for her longest stretch ever and I felt little better about it ;)
    I’ll say it again- SO excited for you! S/he will be here before you know it!

    Reply
  • Leila @ Spinach and Skittles May 3, 2012, 9:36 pm

    We’re planning on going the bassinet in the bedroom route for the first 6 months, too. When I first saw the picture of James and Maggie and the question of where “we’d” sleep I thought you meant the pups! That was a concern of mine, as our dog sleeps on a dog bed next to my side of the bed. Obviously the bassinet will need to take over the dogs spot, so we’ve moved her to the foot of our bed. The first few nights she walked over to my side and looked at me like, ummm what the hell mom? But after a two weeks she got used to her new bed :)

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  • Life's a Bowl May 4, 2012, 2:07 pm

    You look beautiful and carry the baby so well! I haven’t given much thought to baby sleeping arrangements since we’re just planning our wedding, but it’s hard for me to imagine sleeping in another room than my [future] husband… Definitely smart in the sense that he’ll get sleep but the bed would feel so empty!

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  • Sarah May 6, 2012, 7:55 pm

    hurray! once you get to the part where you know they’d probably be okay it is such a load off.

    we co-slept which I mostly loved, but she didn’t sleep through the night until she was 2 1/2. she’s 5 1/2 now and sometimes still gets really sad when she has to sleep alone. we actually didn’t plan to co-sleep – i got one of those side of the bed co-sleepers, but her first night home she didn’t fall asleep until we lay down in our bed with her, so . . . of course, i’d rather sleep with her than the hubby, so ;)

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  • Kara May 7, 2012, 5:55 am

    My baby slept in the bassinet next to our bed for the first 4 months. I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as her until around then. She started rolling around and pushing up on her arms at that point (and so outgrew the bassinet around then) and at that point I felt more comfortable having her in our bed because she was bigger and more capable of moving blankets off her face or kick them off independently. she is still in our bed now at 20 months and we are starting to gradually transition her to her room into a toddler bed. she always takes naps in her bed. We are in no rush and love the nighttime cuddles! We all sleep great and I am still nursing her (I plan to wean around 2yrs).

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