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After I wrote What I Learned After 1,000 Days of Marriage, a few people commented that the Husband should write a similar post.  So – we sat on the couch and I typed as he shared his insights.  Here’s what Kristien learned after 1,000 days of being married to crazy old me.   Lord help him.

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1- Try not to go to bed angry. 

 

2 – Never let money control you or your relationship.

 

3 – Share the remote.

 

4 – Clean, cook, or take out the dogs even when it’s not your turn.  She’ll appreciate it more than you realize. 

 

5 – Be malleable with your schedule.  If you go into a day with a set plan, be open to changing your plans if your partner has other things in mind.

 

6 – Listen with your ears and your eyes.

 

7 – Neither person should ever make unilateral decisions. 

 

8 – Encourage, support, and be excited to take part in your partner’s hobbies, even if it isn’t your thing.

 

9 – Never say, "Is it that time of the month?"

 

10 -  Kiss and hug.  All the time.

{ 66 comments }

 

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  • Sara @ RunnerWife September 25, 2011, 8:33 pm

    I love this! I really agree with never going to bed angry! its it so important! we have only been married 3 months but I already agree with so many of these!

    Reply
  • DadHTP September 25, 2011, 8:46 pm

    haha! Looks like you paid attention to your #1!

    xoxo

    Reply
  • Jenn's Adventures September 25, 2011, 8:47 pm

    That is awesome — it’s clear your hubby is supportive by participating in this awesome (and helpful) relationship series:)

    Reply
  • Carla @ Will Run for Health September 25, 2011, 8:54 pm

    I like that Kristien mentioned “hugging and kissing”…it’s so important on so many levels. I remember in grad school, in my marriage and family class, hearing that on average after 10 years of marriage, couples on average only touch 13 times per week! SAD!!!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP September 26, 2011, 1:20 pm

      that is sooo sad. going to go hold the husbands hand!

      Reply
  • peacebeme September 25, 2011, 8:54 pm

    Love the “listen with your ears AND eyes” one. SO important. I think I need to tell my fiance that. ;) I have had trouble describing that that is what I need, but that is the perfect way to work it.

    Reply
  • Marian @ marianwrites September 25, 2011, 8:56 pm

    um, hi, why are you guys so adorable??

    Reply
  • Kellie September 25, 2011, 8:57 pm

    Love it! Especially #6. If you’re listening, the rest will be known. ;)

    Reply
  • Hillary September 25, 2011, 8:58 pm

    #4 made me smile. It really is those small, unexpected things that make me the happiest. When I come home and my boyfriend has made the bed, I want to pounce him. Weird, but true.

    Reply
  • Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) September 25, 2011, 8:58 pm

    Definitely kiss and hug all the time! Great list!

    Reply
  • Amanda September 25, 2011, 8:58 pm

    awwww :) I already shared the first 1000 days of marriage post with my boy of 6 years. He said he liked it but he wished there was one from the guys perspective. Yes!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP September 26, 2011, 1:24 pm

      There you go :) Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  • Army Amy* September 25, 2011, 9:05 pm

    Now I’m curious to ask my hubs what he’s learned from being married to me!*

    Reply
  • Carly September 25, 2011, 9:06 pm

    So cute! :)

    Reply
  • cathy September 25, 2011, 9:10 pm

    this was great to see the husband’s point of view and thoughts! what really strikes me is the difference in communication styles: the husband is a man of few words, above, while your post was much more involved and detailed – which is very representative of a lot of couples!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP September 26, 2011, 1:25 pm

      hahah seriously. i’m so wordy.

      Reply
  • Gina @ Running to the Kitchen September 25, 2011, 9:11 pm

    Love this! I shared your 10 things with the husband, now I’ll have to show him Kristien’s :)

    Reply
  • Sweet and Savvy September 25, 2011, 9:18 pm

    Love this post from the husband’s point of view! :)

    Reply
  • Rebecca September 25, 2011, 9:29 pm

    This is great! :D

    Numbers 8 & 10 make me smile. :)

    Hahahaha, #9!
    I have a friend whose boyfriend actually knows when it’s about that time. And my dad can usually tell for the three women in our house. Almost scary, but when you’re around someone for a long time, you kind of figure things out. :P

    Reply
  • Brittnie (A Joy Renewed) September 25, 2011, 9:32 pm

    I totally agree with #6 – listening w/ your ears AND eyes is so very important. I am going to ask my husband his thoughts on this topic. Great idea for a follow up post.

    Reply
  • kathleen @ the daily crumb September 25, 2011, 9:41 pm

    love this! although, i have to say i agree with your #10 more than the husband’s #10 :)

    Reply
  • J3nn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) September 25, 2011, 10:06 pm

    Sweet and to the point, I like it! I’m going to have to interrogate my hubby on what he has learned. Fun! :D

    Reply
  • Miranda September 25, 2011, 10:09 pm

    #9! Bahaha!!!

    Reply
  • katie @ KatieDid September 25, 2011, 10:12 pm

    listen with your eyes too, love it! I have always valued people who intently look when they are listening to you, I think its a true sign they care.

    Reply
  • Chelsea September 25, 2011, 10:14 pm

    Go him ;D

    Reply
  • Annette @ EnjoyYourHealthyLife September 25, 2011, 10:17 pm

    AWWW that is awesome!

    Reply
  • Kalli September 25, 2011, 10:24 pm

    Too cute!

    Reply
  • Moni'sMeals September 25, 2011, 10:38 pm

    your husband is a very very smart and wise man! You know what they say…happy wife happy life. :)

    Reply
  • Sana September 25, 2011, 10:56 pm

    It’s always that time of the month!

    Reply
  • Penny September 25, 2011, 11:24 pm

    The husband sounds like he’s a pretty smart cookie. :-) And he has a English accent and everything. And he’s a doctor.
    *jealous*
    :-)

    Reply
  • Stephie September 25, 2011, 11:30 pm

    So adorable… I have a major crush on your hubby! x

    Reply
  • Liz September 26, 2011, 12:47 am

    Awwwww! What a sweet husband :)

    Reply
  • mi-an d. September 26, 2011, 1:10 am

    good man k, good man!!! so funny bc i always tell my bf listen to me pls…and look at me! lol and also i always tell him…i want more hugs and kisses. but he’s the one who actually encourages us to make mutual decisions!

    Reply
  • Brooke (Tea & Tofu) September 26, 2011, 1:14 am

    Awww, what a sweetie. :-)

    Reply
  • Khushboo September 26, 2011, 1:15 am

    Looks like the hubby has it cracked- he sounds like a great guy! Also isn’t it funny the difference in length of both of your posts–> boys will be boys!

    Reply
  • Amilia September 26, 2011, 2:51 am

    Hi Caitlin,

    Since the last 1 week, I get this message pop up and need to answer YES everytime I am on your blog..

    ” Stop running this script?
    A script on this page is causing Internet Explorer to run slowly. If it continues to run, your computer might become unresponsive”

    Any issue on explorer (or something) here?

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP September 26, 2011, 1:27 pm

      Hmmm I will ask my web guy – so sorry!

      Reply
  • Jessica @ Jess Go Bananas September 26, 2011, 6:31 am

    Sounds Like you learned a lot! lol

    Reply
  • Verna September 26, 2011, 7:19 am

    Aww!

    Reply
  • Lee September 26, 2011, 7:57 am

    Please teach my husband numbers 4 and 9!

    Reply
  • CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com September 26, 2011, 8:41 am

    awe i love what the husband learned! i chuckled when I read “never ask if its that time of the month” but its so sweet that he said kiss and hug all the time, and listen with your eyes and ears…great things to know! i hope my husband knows this stuff too! haha

    Reply
  • Errign September 26, 2011, 8:58 am

    Number 9 made me chuckle. Love this post!

    Reply
  • Molly @ RDexposed September 26, 2011, 9:12 am

    Love 1 and 10! A wise married couple gave my boyfriend and I advice: never go to bed angry and without kissing each other. I can’t promise I live up to that yet. It does run through my head when I’m breaking that tip at least.

    Reply
  • Stacey September 26, 2011, 9:15 am

    10 things learned is impressive! After reading this, I asked my boyfriend what he had learned from being in a relationship with me…it took him two hours to come up with five things haha :D And then he said “Did I pass your quiz?” ;)

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP September 26, 2011, 1:28 pm

      Heheh I think he passed! Keeper.

      Reply
  • Laurie September 26, 2011, 9:38 am

    How sweet! Great list! :)

    Reply
  • Kristen (inspiredbydooce) September 26, 2011, 11:05 am

    Kristien, I hope for your sake that you learned #9 quickly. That is one of my least favourite questions ever.

    Love both of your lists :)

    Reply
  • Rachel http://foodfashionfaith.blogspot.com/ September 26, 2011, 11:20 am

    I love the Never say, “Is it that time of the month?” I want to kill my husband when he asks that. (He is usually right, which makes me more angry.) But woah if you want to play with fire ask me that question, you never know if your going to get anger or tears. I think my hubby thinks like to poke at me. I’m glad your hubs gets it. Good for you Kristien!

    Reply
    • CaitlinHTP September 26, 2011, 1:28 pm

      Rawrrrrrrrr I agree.

      Reply
      • Sarah @ w30 September 26, 2011, 1:53 pm

        YES! Similar deal: I HATE it when guys say things like, “you are just being irrational.” do.not.discount.my.feelings.
        I told my bf early on that that phrase is a trigger for me and to just not say it – even if he’s thinking it, even if I *am* being irrational! To his credit, we’ve been together 7 years and he’s never said that to me (well, not since that first time that led me to tell him how I felt about it!). :)

        Reply
  • Rachel September 26, 2011, 11:28 am

    haha! men are so succinct ;) i like #’s 9 &10

    Reply
  • Ali September 26, 2011, 11:59 am

    SO cute.

    Reply
  • KellyK September 26, 2011, 12:00 pm

    Haha! Love the list! So typical of a guy to concisely develop a top ten list that is very accurate.

    Reply
  • Corrie @ Blurb Column September 26, 2011, 12:03 pm

    I think this is great. One of the most important things hubby and I learn (continuously) is that men and women THINK differently. It is very important to check in with the other person and say “Is this what you meant, because this is what I heard?” That, right there, can save a ton of disagreements and confusion. Love that your hubs thinks kissing and hugging alot are important. We do lots of hugging but the hubs is not a big kisser. We do make sure to kiss goodbye every day and say goodnight to each other every night.

    Reply
  • Carolina John September 26, 2011, 1:06 pm

    I like it. I like it a lot. and we’ve been married for 13 years.

    Reply
  • Amber K September 26, 2011, 1:28 pm

    Smart guy you have there :)

    I think my husband would agree with those as well. Especially the hugging and kissing. Even if we are just lounging in front of the TV we are usually holding hands or snuggled up close. Non-sexual physical contact is so important.

    Reply
  • Mary @ Bites and Bliss September 26, 2011, 8:15 pm

    hahaha to #9!! Mike pulled that one time when I was giving him a hug after I realized how bitchy I had been and it totally ruined the moment.

    Reply
  • Lili September 27, 2011, 1:46 pm

    Love #9!! Ha!

    Reply
  • Sophie @ threetimesf September 27, 2011, 6:06 pm

    Totally agree – sorting arguments out before bed is so so important!
    These posts were a great idea! And congratulations on 1000 days of marriage!

    Reply
  • linda@adventuresinexpatland.com September 28, 2011, 7:03 am

    That man is S.M.A.R.T. His ten list is probably a large reason why your #10 is on YOUR list! What a keeper…

    Reply
  • Julie S. September 29, 2011, 5:10 pm

    Oh, he’s good! Great post!

    Reply
  • Amy@ahealthyandhappyheart October 2, 2011, 7:09 pm

    Love the guys perspective! I am off to ask my hubby what he learned from our marriage..:)

    Reply