Healthy Tipping Point

When parenting is fun and lighthearted, it is easy, fulfilling, and wonderful.  And truly – it’s like that more often than not.  But on a daily basis, parenting can also be hard.  I’m talking about the cranky meltdowns, the temper tantrums, and the complicated behavioral stuff, plus your own constant self-doubt and fear that you’re somehow doing it wrong. 

A two year old is a tiny person.  As much as we’d all love to, you cannot control a toddler’s thoughts and feelings anymore than you can control another adult’s.  Kids are individuals, too.  Toddlers want what they want, when they want it.  And they have no perspective on whether their ‘problems’ are actually problems at all.  Henry feels everything so, so deeply that I sometimes feel sorry for him.  A meltdown over a broken cracker?  It happens.  Every single day… sobbing hysterically as he holds two jagged pieces in his hands, trying to stick them back together through snotty gulps.

I read parenting advice articles all the time – I can use all the help I can get.  I don’t agree with everything I read or always think it could apply to my family, but I try to always glean a larger message from the pieces.  And I get so many good ideas.  But there has been one piece of advice that has truly stood out and carried me through so many toddler temper tantrums, so I wanted to share it here:

Hug it out.

Kids freak out.  A lot.  It’s normal.  It’s so challenging as a parent to take a deep breath and respond with understanding and patience.  Because the temper tantrums don’t happen in a vacuum, do they?  Occasionally (rarely!), the flip outs occur when I am well-rested, caught up on all my work, fully caffeinated, and in a great mood.  It’s easy to deal with it then.  But more often than not, the flip outs happen when I’m exhausted, beaten down, feeling crabby, and my blood sugar is tanking.  Truthfully, my biggest parenting challenge up to this point has been to respond with love when I feel like shit.  When your kid is flailing around, screaming hysterically because the cracker is now in two freaking pieces, all you want to do is yell.  Or snap.  Or stomp away.

That’s why I love this advice.

When my kid is tantruming, I hug him.  It’s so simple that any sleep-deprived parent can do it! I get down on my knees and open my arms and ask to give him a hug.  Sometimes, Henry will immediately fall into my arms, sobbing with relief that I’m offering the stability and comfort he so desperately needs.  We rock back in forth in our embrace in total silence for a while.  It gives him and me a chance to step back, BREATHE, and reflect. I quietly start talking it through with him.  I remind him of acceptable behavior.  We make plans to clean up messes or put away the thrown toys.  Other times, he will take one look at my hug offer, scream NO!, and push me away.  But I just sit there, arms open and waiting.   He always comes to me when he’s ready.

I believe in discipline when my child is simply being defiant.  I believe in the power of Time Outs (oh, I BELIEEEEVE!).  We follow 1-2-3 Magic and I cannot say enough good things about the technique.  But when my toddler is melting down because he’s tired or hungry or cranky or sick or bored or scared – the hug works.  The hug really, really works.

I read once that parents affectionately touch boys less than girls.  This starts almost immediately after birth, and parents really begin to pull away physically from their sons as the boys grow up.  We stroke our daughter’s arms and brush aside her hair and lovingly hold her hand for no reason at all, but we tend to pull back from our Big Boys.  I imagine this creates stiff men who are afraid to comfort others through touch.  And to me, this is a shame – because nothing is more assuring than a hug.

I hug my son because I know that when I’m really upset, words aren’t always required.  Grand gestures aren’t necessarily needed.  I don’t want someone to magically fix my broken cracker.  I just want someone to connect with me.  I just want to hug it out.  And I hope, that when Henry is a grown man, he follows suit with the special people (both big and little) in his life.

<3 <3 <3  Hugs to you.

I have another fun use for my DIY Pumpkin Spice… Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream!

(You’ve got to try Pumpkin Spice Tofu!)

Here’s the cool thing about this ice cream – it’s actually vegan.  Yup, entirely dairy-free.  It’s based on the infamous Banana Soft Serve and is super simple to make.  All you need is a food processor or a high-powered blender (like a Vitamix).

Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream

Ingredients (for two servings):

• 3 ripe bananas, sliced and frozen
• 3/4 cup pumpkin puree, chilled
• 1 teaspoon DIY Pumpkin Spice
• 2 teaspoons brown sugar (or maple syrup or agave nectar)

Directions:

• Before preparing, make sure you’ve sliced and thoroughly frozen the bananas and chilled (not froze) the pumpkin puree.
• In a food processor, combine the banana, pumpkin puree, and brown sugar until a creamy mixture forms.  This takes about 5 minutes.  Be sure to thoroughly combine so the brown sugar isn’t gritty anymore.
• Serve immediately.  Or, for thicker ice cream, freeze for an hour before serving. If you want to store overnight or for longer, you’ll need to let it sit out for about 30 minutes before re-blending – this will help you re-achieve that creamy, dreamy texture.

Smash it between two sugar cookies to make a pumpkin ice cream sandwich!

I would offer to share with you but… we already ate it all.  Not a single lick left behind.

Side note – Henry has been doing a lot of cooking with me lately.  He is learning about ingredients, especially the concept that you mix or bake ingredients into things and then they change in appearance.  I served him one of these cookies and he immediately scrunched up his face and shouted, “WHERE DID DA BANILLA GO?” (Where did the vanilla go?”).  When I told him it was baked in, he said, “Ooooh, I see da banilla. It’s in cookie crack.”  Hahaha.

Happy munching!

Howdy!  How goes your Tuesday?  Mine is going very well, indeed. 

Started things off right with a swim workout.  I did about 500 yards, which is way less than what I usually shoot for – I was pretty tired following four nighttime wake-ups (two Henrys + one pee break + one dog shake).  Didn’t want to push myself too hard! 

Afterwards – a DadHTP and Henry swim, per our new tradition.

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about what maternity fitness swimsuit I wear.  The short answer is that you don’t need to buy a special suit for pregnancy swimming – just get a bigger one. I have fitness swimsuits in three sizes to accommodate all stages of pregnancy and the post-partum period.

The long answer is that my largest swimsuit is totally shot – the straps are really worn out and loose.  So I’ve just been swimming in my “stylish” maternity bikini (it’s from ASOS; a picture of it is in this post).  It’s not the firmest suit, but it works for my current usage – plus, I really don’t want to buy another suit just for 10 more weeks of swimming!  If you didn’t want to buy a bigger suit, either, you could probably get buy in bikini bottoms + a sports bra.

Just for fun…

Rule #1: Don’t go upstairs (or downstairs) without taking something that needs to be relocated – I’ve started to follow this principle religiously and it has made a HUGE difference in the tidiness of my house (which, yes, is different than cleanliness). When I leave a floor (or a room), I glance around and think, “What isn’t supposed to be here?” Dishes end up coming downstairs, clean laundry goes upstairs – you get the point.  You’re already moving from one floor to the other; if you take something with you each time, it really helps maintain order overall.

Rule #2: Clean on a schedule – I’ve been following a cleaning schedule for years, and let me tell you – it’s truly life changing.  My schedule is constantly changing according to household needs/my availability, but even a loose plan helps you stay on top of tasks.  Currently, I only schedule one task (floors), which I do on Mondays and Fridays.  My ‘thing’ are the floors, and things can get really out of hand with a toddler and three pets, so doing it in a regular pattern keeps the dust bunnies at bay (and my sanity intact).

Rule #3: Organize your entry area – Wherever you enter the house (front door, side door, garage), have an organization spot for things like shoes, purses, book bags, dog leashes, etc.  I REALLY recommended getting an over-the-door shoe rack.  Not only has it corralled our shoes, but we have pockets for keys, sunglasses, dog poop bags, etc.  This really cuts down on clutter, and I love knowing *exactly* where my headphones are for once!

Rule #4: Dish towels for clean up – Okay, this tip is mostly for the parents with young kids.  I keep a box of clean dish towels next to the dining room table (where a lot of our messes occur!).  Big, absorbent dish towels are perfect for everything, including wiping messy chins, cleaning up big spills, rinsing sticky hands, and collecting crumbs at the end of the meal. And afterwards, I just pop the towel directly into the washer. 

Rule #5: Don’t bring in the junk mail – I used to sort my mail in the kitchen, but the junk mail would end up collecting on the countertop for days.  Now, I do an initial sort in the garage next to a trash can.  The junk mail doesn’t even enter the home.

Rule #6: No shoes in the house – We’re pretty strict about this rule.  No shoes allowed!  It’s amazing how much dirt and debris your shoes track in.  If you never wear them inside, you’ll definitely notice a different.

Rule #7: One rag for the whole kitchen – I use one big rag to lightly clean the whole kitchen every day.  I spray the countertops with a gentle cleanser and wipe them down; then, I wet a corner of the rag and use it to spot-clean any drips on the floor (alternatively, try making your own Swiffer pads!); and last, but not least, I scrub the inside of the sink (I alternate between a baking soda paste and Comet).  The dirty rag goes straight into the washing machine.

What’s your favorite cleaning rule?

There have been many, many discussions on the Tri-Fecta Facebook group (which, by the way, is absolutely my favorite triathlon-related group!) about racing with your period. It comes up so often that I thought it’d be worth a post of round-up tips from yours truly.

When I’ve had my period on race day, there have always been two concerns:  logistical and physical.  On the physical side of things, I’m happy to report that my period has never really interfered with my ability to run a strong race.  Sure, I’d rather NOT have it on race day, but I don’t think it sucks the life force out of me or anything.

Actually, that’s a generally accepted scientific fact – your athletic performance doesn’t vary based on the time of the month.  There was a study on female rowers (both professional and hobbyists) in Europe that measured markers like heart rate, oxygen consumption, power output, blood lactate levels, and more during various points throughout the month.  The measurements were static throughout the month, regardless of the timing of estrogen and other hormonal surges (and regardless of whether the woman were on oral contraceptive or not) (Source).  Furthermore, you may think you’re losing power because you’re losing blood, but that’s usually not true (here’s a good discussion on whether your period can induce anemia, especially for runners).

Take heart in knowing that the hormonal changes aren’t turning you into a delicate little flower. That being said, you’re probably not going to FEEL your best during Shark Week, which can make race day intimidating.  You want to be careful about taking any over-the-counter pain medication before an endurance event, as medical studies link painkillers like ibuprofen, aspirin and Aleve to gastrointestinal trouble, dehydration, and kidney issues (I’ve taken this stuff mid-race and not had problems, but it’s probably not the wisest move, especially for really intense or endurance events). 

Look to natural remedies for the pain of cramps and bloating. I find that a warm compress on my pelvis or back helps, as does yoga (check out this yoga series designed especially for your period).  Drinking water helps reduce bloat, so be sure to hydrate. Ginger is an anti-inflammatory, so you could try making a ginger tea by steeping a piece in hot water.  Just don’t OD on the ginger, as I’ve found drinking too much can cause stomach troubles.

And, ironically, exercise is a great way to reduce cramps.  So even if you’re feeling blah at the starting line, you may start to feel really great in a mile or so! 

Let’s talk about race day logistics next.

The #1 thing I can recommend is the Diva Cup.  You can read my post about the Diva Cup right here – it’s a silicon, reusable menstrual cup that replaces tampons. The Diva Cup is awesome for endurance events because it holds more liquid than a tampon AND you can keep it in for up to 12 hours. There is a big learning curve with learning to use the Diva Cup (I always tell women to give it three cycles before they decide if they like it or not), so this is not the type of thing you want to test out on race day. I also tell people to trim the stem of the Diva Cup for maximum comfort.

Obviously, if you’re choosing between tampons or pads, it’s better to wear a tampon.  I recommend cutting the string of the tampon a bit so the string is entirely internal, which will eliminate the risk of chafing (especially if you’re on a bike – ouch).

Whatever period protection you choose, be sure to bring backup on race day and CARRY IT WITH YOU in a pocket or race belt.  Also, I try to wear black bottoms just in case I spring a leak.  A supportive sports bra is super important as well, as your breasts tend to be extra tender anyway.

And last, but certainly not least, if you’re on hormonal birth control, you could manipulate your pills to skip your period. I’ve done it before with success – just call your OB-GYN to discuss logistics, potential issues, and how-to’s.

Have you had your period for a big race? Got any tips or advice?