I Am A Sucker

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Maggie is a good dog.  She is super sweet and loving.  But she is really, really…




And loud.


Let me explain.  Maggie is truly one crayon short of a full box.   The lights are on, but no one is home.  A few screws short of a hardware store.  About as sharp as a marble.  Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.   The battery is not fully charged.


Maggie has run into sliding glass doors, pooped in the Husband’s shoes, ‘hides’ in the worst places ever (like in empty corners), and cannot get out of her crate if you turn it around and then open the door (she’ll bark at the closed end for a good five minutes before she figures it out… even if you’re pulling on her hind legs through the open door).


Because my sweetie is so dense, she barks at EVERYTHING.  Doorbells ringing on television, the jangle of keys, and most of all – her nemesis.  The door knob.  If I even touch the door knob, she goes nuts.


She has a ferocious dachshund bark that is much, much louder than you’d expect.  So much noise comes out of such a little body.


So – like the sucker that I am, I bought the Bark Off device for $9.99 from Target.  The device works by emitting a high-pitched squeal every time the dog barks.  In theory, this should startle the dog and make her stop barking.  Over time, she’ll learn not to bark or she’ll have to listen to the high-pitched noise.  Sounds legit, right?


I don’t know if Bark Off is just a scam or if Maggie is just so truly stupid that she doesn’t mind high-pitched wails all day, every day, but so far, the device has done nothing to curb her barking.


And since the noise is too high-pitched for humans to hear, I can’t even be sure the device is doing anything at all.


In short, I am a sucker.  A sucker who lives with a loud, crazy pup.



  • DadHTP June 22, 2011, 10:55 am

    see if you can download an app for sound pressure levels – but if the device works above 16 KHz, probably won’t have the range.

    Hey folks – she really is dumb.

  • Kara June 22, 2011, 10:59 am

    I find that a squirt bottle (purchased at Target) filled with water is the only thing that makes my hound stop barking. Critical for baby nap times 🙂

  • Chelsea @ Go Chelsea Go! June 22, 2011, 10:59 am

    Awww, but her loud and crazy nature makes you love her that much more right? 🙂

  • Gina @ Running to the Kitchen June 22, 2011, 11:00 am

    Haha! Poor maggie. Too funny though!

  • Kelly June 22, 2011, 11:00 am

    Lol. This post made me laugh a lot.

  • Verna June 22, 2011, 11:00 am

    Aww! Poor Maggie! ; ) The no bark collars that give a little buzz really work. My husband tried one on once. ; )

  • Reenie June 22, 2011, 11:01 am

    Ahhhh ~ she is so cute tho 🙂

  • Monika @ Powered by Paprika June 22, 2011, 11:01 am

    Awwww, but aren’t we all suckers when it comes to our dogs? 😉

  • Ashley O. @ The Vegetable Life June 22, 2011, 11:01 am

    Hahaha I had a yellow lab a few years back that was either just as dumb as maggie or just really lazy…. One day I tried to play catch and i threw a ball but she just stared at me like “are you our of your flippin’ mind…. you go get that I’m not going all the way across the yard!”

    • Jen June 24, 2011, 5:54 pm

      My golden retriever had an unusual idea of fetch as well, except I’m convinced that she did this deliberately; she would run after the frisbee, and then bring it into a different room, come back in where all the people were and bark until someone (cough*my mom*cough) got up and threw the frisbee to her. She was such a bossy girl!

  • Sarah @ See Sarah Eat June 22, 2011, 11:02 am

    Maggie is so cute! Sorry to hear it’s not working. Thankfully, my dog does not bark, sorry 😉

  • JessicaEn June 22, 2011, 11:02 am

    I have two cats. One is just like James! her name is Little Lucy. We adopted her after she almost died at birth after being tangled in the umbilical cord for three days. She’s loving, playful, extremely affectionate but yes…. definitely not the brightest crayon in the box 🙂 She chases her tail, thinks she can walk right through the screen door, and meows constantly. She’s wonderful though.

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 1:19 pm

      Your poor kitty! What a cutie though 🙂

  • Kat June 22, 2011, 11:03 am

    my dog is deaf and we trained her with a water bottle. when she’d jump on people – squirt. when she’d bark excessively – squirt. she now fears the bottle and is quite well behaved (most of the time!). try it!

  • JessicaEn June 22, 2011, 11:03 am

    I mean just like Maggie 🙁

  • Erin @ GoBananasBlog June 22, 2011, 11:03 am

    We got a bark collar for my dog and it would do something (I can’t remember what) when he barked several times in a row. He caught on so he made sure to space out his barking so it wasn’t even effective! What a waste!

  • Lindsay June 22, 2011, 11:04 am

    This is one of the funniest HTP posts EVER! I love it…and I love Maggie 🙂

  • mary (what's cookin with mary) June 22, 2011, 11:05 am

    AWWWWWWWW! lol. She’s just so cute! We have a neighbor with a dachshund and his bark is SO loud. Surprisingly loud for such a small hound !

  • Stephanie June 22, 2011, 11:06 am

    Honey, I have a weiner doggie, too. Just as dumb but seriously the sweetest thing ever. I love him to death and I know you feel the same way. Gotta take the good with the bad, right? 🙂

  • Katie June 22, 2011, 11:06 am

    That is so funny! I have a dachshund and he is the same way… The high pitched noise also makes him bark!

  • Courtney @ The Granola Chronicles June 22, 2011, 11:07 am

    Ooooh, poor Maggie! She’s just too darn cute though – so at least she has that going for her! 🙂

  • Michelle June 22, 2011, 11:07 am

    I’m a sucker, too. Tried that damn stupid device as well. I am guessing it does absolutely NOTHING. The person that decided to sell that thing is deviously brilliant.

  • Dana P. June 22, 2011, 11:07 am

    hahahahaha! I love her expressions! I had a dog dumber than Maggie once. My parents put up an electric fence so the dog could be out in the yard and he would run through it–convulsing the entire time.

  • Mellissa June 22, 2011, 11:08 am

    Thank you for posting this! I contemplated buying one of these and am so glad to know they don’t work. My boyfriends dog barks EVERY time a car drives by. I live in the city and there are cars going by all day. Not really sure how to fix that issue.

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 1:20 pm

      Haha some people are saying it worked on their dog! Maybe its just Maggie.

  • Hannah June 22, 2011, 11:08 am

    I have a dachshund too and she barks at doorknobs, bells on tv, and especially CUPBOARDS opening and closing. You should take a video of your dogs so we can see ’em in action!

  • Ash @ Good Taste Healthy Me June 22, 2011, 11:11 am

    haha oh god this dog would drive me absolutely nuts.

  • Katie June 22, 2011, 11:12 am

    She is such a cutie. I have a tip that might help (I’m a dog-walker and I’ve dealt with every dog quirk you can think of ). Every day, touch the door knob. A lot. The second she starts to bark, correct her. Whenever she doesn’t bark, snuggle her and give her tons of praise. If you do this a bunch every day, she will eventually learn that you going to the door isn’t a big deal, she’ll become desensitized to it, and she’ll learn she’s not allowed to bark but gets love when she doesn’t.
    I know you’ve said she’s kinda slow…. so it might take awhile 🙂

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 1:21 pm

      Hahah that would take eons. LOL

  • tanya June 22, 2011, 11:13 am

    I bought that and it works! talk to your dogs with it off and watch their expressions , then talk with it on….my dogs walked away and hung low.

  • Leanne (Bride to Mrs,) June 22, 2011, 11:13 am

    Hahahahahahaha…… oh Maggie.

  • christina cadden June 22, 2011, 11:13 am

    Awe, but she is so cute!

  • Leah @ Why Deprive? June 22, 2011, 11:15 am

    haha awww!! My dog is half dachshund, so I totally feel your pain with the barking. Theyre LOUD. I finally got fed up and went out and bought some mini squirt guns from the dollar store. So far its working. She still barks, but the second I break out the gun she shuts right up.

  • Natalia - a side of simple June 22, 2011, 11:16 am

    This made my morning, especially that “action” shot. Oh, the beauty of short legs. Embrace them, Maggie 🙂

  • Ali June 22, 2011, 11:17 am

    Oh man! Oscar barks at everything too! I think it is a dachshund thing! He is actually super smart though. We have a cabinet in our kitchen full of his treats, bones and food and he has now managed to find a way to open it and have a feast for himself every now and then. So smart! But his barking dives me nuts. I feel bad for yelling at him, but sometimes it is too much for me to take. He barks NON-STOP!

  • Mel June 22, 2011, 11:17 am

    Just out of curiosity, have you ever tried dog IQ test on Maggie that the blogger of “Hyperbole and a Half” did?

    • Mary June 22, 2011, 12:00 pm

      Haha! I did that with my dog, and she didn’t exactly pass with flying colors. My husband and I are pretty sure she thinks her name is “Hungry” because that’s the only thing she responds to. She did figure out the food under the cup thing, but that’s because she is obsessed with dinner time!

    • CaitlinHTP June 22, 2011, 12:42 pm

      Oh yes. She failed.

  • Maggie (@Flour Child, not in a crate at Caitlin's house) June 22, 2011, 11:18 am

    Hahaha awesome post. We have several friends (some with Dachshunds) who swear by those collars that spray citronella when the dog barks. Knowing Maggie, she might not mind (or even like it), but I really think it’s worth a try just for the startle/distraction factor.

    Oh I love Maggie. 🙂

    • Paj June 22, 2011, 11:43 am

      I have a friend who used a citronella collar on her dog too and it helped a lot!

      I also have a calming collar for when my dog is overly hyper. Works wonders. http://www.calmingcollars.com/

    • Mia June 22, 2011, 2:02 pm

      I second the Citronella collar! my mom’s dog had a SERIOUS barking problem (we’re talking barking for hours upon hours when my mom left to go to work), and after a couple of days with the Citronella collar the barking stopped completely. I highly recommend it!

  • Halley (Blunder Construction) June 22, 2011, 11:19 am

    Maybe the unit is broken, I suspect she would respond at least a little bit…

  • Cindy Robinson June 22, 2011, 11:25 am

    Awe, so cute that Maggie! I hope you just got a lemon of a contraption, and that it will eventually work? My friend’s dog Alley (rat terrier) barks even when you came out of the bathroom, or in from another room. So funny those little dogs!

  • Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) June 22, 2011, 11:27 am

    Those are the ones that need the most love! Our female cat is just clueless. She is such a spaz too. It drives us crazy sometimes, but really they can’t help it.

  • Meari June 22, 2011, 11:28 am

    I have a Doxie too… and honestly… what’s with the bark? such a loud bark for just a little dog!!

    Good luck!

    (and really, I think most doxies are a cheeseburger short of a happy meal)

  • Kelly June 22, 2011, 11:28 am

    Oh, I’m sorry to tell you that you just wasted $10! 🙁 We have more than one yapper in this house, so we bought it on a whim (okay, out of desperation), and it DOES NOT WORK. It’s now shoved in a closet and we are still dealing with dumb barkers. (Hey, I don’t mind if they bark at something LEGIT, but give me a break…) BTW, have you ever tried a “penny can”? We use this from time to time and it distracts them, but on the little dogs it doesn’t seem to work as well. We just fill an empty can (Le Croix in this house) with pens, tape it shut and shake the living hell out of it when they bark at something they’re not supposed to. We had one dog trained by the word “penny can” alone. It was great.

    • Kelly June 22, 2011, 11:29 am

      pens would = pennies

  • Sarah G June 22, 2011, 11:28 am

    Since I’m #36 on the commenting list so far…I don’t know if you’ll see this. My husband picked up a birdhouse lookin thing at Walmart in teh pet section. It runs on batteries and we hang it from their kennel. I think it was about $40 but it works the same way. It emits the “dog only” whistle but actually works. The same company has bark collars for abotu $40 that also work really well. Just a thought.

  • Lauren @ LaDolcePita June 22, 2011, 11:29 am

    I totally enjoyed this post. It made Maggie all the more adorable & endearing.

  • Liv @ The Salty n' Sweet June 22, 2011, 11:29 am

    HAHAH aw poor Maggie. I’m sure she has no idea what’s going on… I wonder what would happen to her if she was left in the wild…

  • Sam June 22, 2011, 11:30 am

    Hahah aw she is cute but that sucks about the device you bought! My dog is names maggie too 🙂

  • Khushboo June 22, 2011, 11:30 am

    Hahah I bet Maggie has no idea that she’s tormenting you 😀

  • Katie June 22, 2011, 11:35 am

    I tried that stupid thing too! Only, we could hear it going off when a male friend, who was standing near it, was talking! My dog did react to it, but we could even hear the high pitch, and obviously it’s not going to train him if it’s triggered by a person, when he’s sleeping on the floor! Luckily, I was able to return it. 🙂

  • Laurie June 22, 2011, 11:40 am

    Too funny!!! Maggie is just too cute and adorable to be dumb! :). I have doxies too that do that too, the barking drives me crazy! Sorry that device didn’t work or that Maggie is laughing at you because it doesn’t bother her!

  • Megan June 22, 2011, 11:41 am

    awww I love maggie! my doxie barks so loud too! I’m going to try the spray bottle with water that other people suggested.

    You should totally post a Maggie/doorknob video so we can see her in action!

  • Kelli June 22, 2011, 11:43 am

    I bought the same exact one for our Golden drives us a nuts well he’s so scared of it all we have to do is show it to him! LOL sorry it didn’t work for you I know how annoying the barking can get!

  • Amanda @ Cucina Amanda June 22, 2011, 11:45 am

    That’s so funny because my parents bought the Bark Off for their 2 Labs and it works so well! The second they hear the high-pitched noise, they stop barking!

  • Carolyn @ Lovin' Losing June 22, 2011, 11:46 am

    No worries, Caitlin. We bought the BarkOff, too. It didn’t work for us, either. I imagine the inventor realized he’d created the perfect money maker. Something people want, but can’t prove doesn’t work.

    • Dori June 22, 2011, 12:10 pm

      Actually — I bought a similar thing for mice. It blinks bright blue and buzzes. I hear the buzzing and I have become so used to the sounds now. It doesn’t actually work though.

  • kristi (sweet cheeks) June 22, 2011, 11:47 am

    LOL, i just love her. She is too cute!

  • Beth (Well I'll Be) June 22, 2011, 11:48 am

    My little dog Polly is pretty dumb too. You give her a command and she just stares at you. She freaks out over cats and last night my husband starting meowing at her and she flipped! Poor girl 🙁 She also barks a lot and I was wondering if those things worked. Too good to be true I guess.

  • Chelsea June 22, 2011, 11:49 am

    Maggie looks like she’s so little that I’m not sure if this would work, but my friend lives in an apartment building and bought this for her beagle-mix to take pity on her neighbors:

    It really works! The funny thing is she lives by an elevated train track and if she’s walking the dog when a train goes by, sometimes that sets off the collar and the dog gets confused, like he’s thinking, “I’m being so good! I didn’t do anything!”

    • CaitlinHTP June 22, 2011, 12:43 pm

      Tried it. Doesn’t work. She just ignores the spray. LOL

  • Melissa @ Mouth Watering Morsel June 22, 2011, 11:52 am

    haha this is such a cute post!! I love when people talk about their dogs!! My dog barks and goes out of control when we take him outside so we recently got him a bark collar. animal abuse? no .. just steps in making sure he’s well trained.

  • Julie (A Case of the Runs) June 22, 2011, 11:55 am

    I almost bought this for my dog (who is not too many crayons more stocked than yours), but I whipped out the smart phone and saw some bad reviews. One claimed that the frequency would go off all day, every day no matter what the dog did, rendering it helpless. =(

  • Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat June 22, 2011, 11:56 am

    LOL! Maggie sounds like she gives you hours of amusement. I’d take a little noise in exchange for her cuteness!

  • Nicole June 22, 2011, 11:59 am

    Why would she care about a high pitced sound when she is contstantly making one herself…eeeiiii

  • Camilla June 22, 2011, 12:05 pm

    My pups are just as crazy! And they’ve got the same dishes! 🙂

  • Dori June 22, 2011, 12:09 pm

    I love Maggie’s stupidity and I especially love your paragraph of cliches about stupidity to describe her. That really is such a huge part of her charm and what makes her so adorable and special. This is hilarious. I do wonder if it works for other dogs, have you read any online review?

  • Nichole (eat & be pretty) June 22, 2011, 12:12 pm

    HAHA. omg i was laughing out loud at this. my dog was the same way when she was a puppy, she howled the whole way home when we picked her up for the first time and I knew our house was never going to be the same again… at least they’re cute!

  • Abby June 22, 2011, 12:21 pm

    Before we got married, my husband adopted a “special needs” cat from the SPCA. Half of one of her back legs was gone, and we had to pay ($900!!!!!) to have the rest of it taken off so it wouldn’t get infected. Even with the crazy vet bill we weren’t expecting, we love little Freska. However, she is the dumbest animal we’ve ever seen. She is a pure white cat, which are commonly known to have hearing problems or sometimes mental “issues”. Freska can hear just fine (thank God, apparently those animals can be super loud because they don’t know how loud they’re being), but she is just dumb. For instance, she can sit at the back door and instead of look out the door into the back yard, she’ll stare at the wall for HOURS. We have a small fish tank on the counter, and instead of getting up there to watch the fish, we commonly find her up there staring into the empty sink. Again, for HOURS. Among other crazy things, she likes her brush, but to use it as a chew toy, not a brush. It’s a good thing she’s cute!

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 1:23 pm

      Aw SO nice of your man to adopt a special needs cat. Love it.

  • Kris @ tryingtotri June 22, 2011, 12:24 pm

    LOL poor Maggie… I had a cat that was dumber than a bag of rocks, even the squirt bottle wouldn’t keep him off the counters…

    I want a Doxie so bad! They are so cute. 🙂

  • Rebecca June 22, 2011, 12:26 pm

    Does Maggie have that attachment issue like a little kid dropped off at daycare where if you’re leaving she flips out? Or no? Because the doorknob thing could be that she’s come to associate you touching a doorknob and then leaving, and doesn’t want you to leave? I dunno, just a thought. Otherwise she’s just a goof. But she’s absolutely adorable. 🙂

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 1:23 pm

      Oh yea, she has MAD separation anxiety.

  • The Teenage Taste June 22, 2011, 12:29 pm

    You’re not the only one who fell for that Bark Off thingy, Caitlin. I bought it hoping it wouldstop my little cockapoo from barking her head off. It didn’t work at all. Dang. 🙁

  • Johanna B June 22, 2011, 12:31 pm

    Those ads are designed to draw people in. That’s why they work – even on folks who should know better. Oh well, love me love my dog. I won’t even tell you about the stuff I’ve fallen for over the years.

  • Katherina @ Zephyr Runs June 22, 2011, 12:32 pm

    Dumb dogs are the absolute best <3 (for pets, not for survival time :X) We used squirt bottles when I used to work at a dog daycare, some dogs quit barking, some thought we were playing with them. Rebecca's doorknob comment is spot on – most dogs have associations. I adopted a Katrina rescue dog and every time it's storming she absolutely will not leave my side, or if I'm not home I'll find her hidden deep in a small closet. It's Me or the Dog has taught me a lot 😀

  • Amber K June 22, 2011, 12:34 pm

    Aw, poor dumb Maggie. At least she’s a cutie!

  • Marissa June 22, 2011, 12:47 pm

    No, you’re not a sucker–that thing really works! We got one for my dog. The first time he barked when we had it turned on, he jumped three feet in the air, bolted upstairs, and hid under my bed for the rest of the afternoon. Haha, I felt kinda bad… needless to say, we keep it turned off now, but sitting in plain sight on the coffee table. If my dog is acting like he’s going to start barking, we just go over and touch the Bark-Off–and he immediately tucks his tail and shuts up! So, yeah… the thing works. Maggie just must not get it, lol.

  • Lauren @ Healthy Delicious June 22, 2011, 1:00 pm

    Glad I’m not the only one that fell for that piece of junk!

  • Allison June 22, 2011, 1:08 pm

    “Pooped in the Husband’s shoes”..That had me laughing out loud, thank you!

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 1:25 pm

      She really did! She was SOOO mad at him so she pooped in his shoes.

      • aj June 22, 2011, 3:18 pm

        That sounds genius to me. jk. 🙂

  • Sarah for Real June 22, 2011, 1:26 pm

    I assume since she’s so dumb, typical training methods don’t work? We’ve had success using just a regular spray bottle of water and spritz our dog in the face when she’s in crazy-barking mode. This degenerated into using whatever glass of liquid we had around. She now has an irrational fear of glasses, coffee cups, and beer mugs.

  • Lindsey June 22, 2011, 1:41 pm

    You are not the only sucker out there! My mom bought the same device for my dog Lulu, she is my little protector and barks at every dog we see when walking. I had high hopes but she had no reaction to the barker.

  • Nikka June 22, 2011, 1:51 pm

    I love Maggie posts and reading the comments, reminds me I am not the only one with a crazy little dog! Our Lulu is a Bichon with an attitude. When I walk in the door she really likes to let me know how mad she is that I left in the first place :/ She’ll be having her own little bark festival and our other pup Bosley is looking at me like ‘why did you leave with this hot mess?!?!’
    Hehe. Dogs. Love.

  • Morgan @ OperationHotMama June 22, 2011, 1:55 pm

    I laughed my ass off after reading this post! You and your dumb dog are just too funny!!

  • April June 22, 2011, 1:56 pm

    She is so cute! I have a very large chocolate lab that thinks he is the size of a miniature poodle and is also “not home” so it’s an entertaining combination! I also tried the Bark-Off on my other dog (she is the barker!) and it seemed to work on day one, then never again after!

  • Kate (What Kate is Cooking) June 22, 2011, 2:05 pm

    It’s a good thing she’s so damn cute to make up for her lack of common sense 🙂

  • Catherine@happinessafterheartache June 22, 2011, 2:05 pm

    I have 2 Goldens….my female is smart as a whip (except for being afraid of thunder), but my male is pretty dumb. He barks at nothing. NOTHING. Not like yours, where there’s at least a “reason”. Griffin will bark at a wall. Or the floor. Anything. Weirdo.

  • Lisa June 22, 2011, 2:06 pm

    Soo funny.

    My mom bought the same exact thing and yeah it didnt work for her dog either.

  • Jess June 22, 2011, 2:12 pm

    Binaca! Yes, the breath spray. Next time Maggie barks inappropriately, spray it near (not in) her face and give your verbal command (No Bark!). Worked like a charm with our corgi. He is smart, so it only took two times – but might take more for her!

  • Laura @ MyReasontoRun June 22, 2011, 2:18 pm

    awwww, poor maggie! one of my dogs was this stupid too. he used to eat beer cans and run into walls. sadly, i think it was his stupidity that caused his final demise 🙁

  • Katherine June 22, 2011, 2:23 pm

    Lol, sounds like my brother’s dog. That stupid beagle. I can’t stand him. I love my little Jake who is a German Shepherd/Lab/hound/mix and doesn’t bark at anything practically and is just the sweetest dog ever. I want another dog so badly that I can go running with. Birthday present maybe? Hmmm

  • Angela (Oh She Glows) June 22, 2011, 2:29 pm

    omg this post…major LOL!!!

  • Jolene June 22, 2011, 2:46 pm

    She sounds like the little sister of my nut-job dog, Shayla, a greyhound/shepherd mix. Sweet but dumb is how we describe her. We couldn’t even take her camping this past weekend. All the dogs, squirrels, smells, children, etc had her bouncing off the trees barking, shaking, cowering, and that was while *ON* tranqs (natural version) and then benadryl as a last minute thing to help calm her down. We had to take her home. I’ve been eying the anti-bark devices as well and glad to know that they don’t work for dumb dogs. (Said with a great amount of love for my dumb dumb!)

  • Brie @ Brie Fit June 22, 2011, 2:49 pm

    Our dog is so dumb he cannot figure out Kong toys. We will put a treat in it, and he will just look at it sadly, like, “Why did you put that treat in there?” until we come get it out for him.

    He also only barks at dogs on television. Not real dogs.

    • Caitlin June 22, 2011, 2:52 pm

      Maggie does the same thing with Kong toys!

  • Meg June 22, 2011, 3:01 pm

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has purchased one of those. Didn’t work for me either. :-/

  • Meg June 22, 2011, 3:01 pm

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has purchased one of those. Didn’t work for me either. :-/

  • Meg June 22, 2011, 3:01 pm

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has purchased one of those. Didn’t work for me either. :-/

  • Meg June 22, 2011, 3:01 pm

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has purchased one of those. Didn’t work for me either. :-/

  • Meg June 22, 2011, 3:03 pm

    Whoops. Sorry about the duplicate comments. I’m using the iPad for the first time.

  • Allison @ Happy Tales June 22, 2011, 3:14 pm

    Whoa. Crazy that you just wrote about this… b/c Ryan and I just bought a bark-deterrant thing from Petsmart (49.99$) and it’s working LIKE A CHARM!!! Seriously, Happy used to go batso whenever we got home from work barking up a storm, and now she hardly peeps! It’s only been about 4 days though… but she’s doing really well!

  • Keelie (SweatEqualsSuccess) June 22, 2011, 3:21 pm

    We have one extremely smart dachsund (Emma) and one incredibly stupid one (Liam). They balance each other out, usually…

  • Cynthia (It All Changes) June 22, 2011, 3:27 pm

    Awww sweet Maggie. Our Leo chases his own tail but when he catches it he has no idea what to do with it. He also fights with his leash when we are walking him and prefers to lay under the couch than on it.

  • Ali @ Around the VeggieTable June 22, 2011, 3:37 pm

    Hahaha my mom’s dog Phoebe is also mortal enemies with the doorknob! She HATES it and freaks out anytime you even go near it!! LOL

  • Jaylin June 22, 2011, 3:55 pm

    Wait, Isn’t it “one Crayon short of an empty box”? 😉 that’s too funny, so are my dogs.

    • Jaylin June 22, 2011, 3:57 pm

      Nevermind, I got the saying wrong! Lol

  • Christine June 22, 2011, 3:57 pm

    I’m really tempted to try this.

  • J3nn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) June 22, 2011, 5:03 pm

    Awwww, LOL! So cute, though!!

  • Cindy June 22, 2011, 5:27 pm

    HAHA That’s HILARIOUS! I love your blog! I’m glad i accidentally found it..I have never even read a blog before!

  • erica June 22, 2011, 5:51 pm

    i was given 2 versions of those bark off things for christmas, my dog barks used to bark a lot at night (until he wormed his way on to the bed) but it didn’t seem to work… 🙁

  • Heidi - apples under my bed June 22, 2011, 6:04 pm

    hahaha loved reading about dear maggie and her nemesis. Pure gold. thanks for the laugh, Caitlin!
    Heidi xo

  • Lauri (Redheadrecipes.com) June 22, 2011, 6:55 pm

    Our dog is pretty ‘special’ too. He barks at the toilet flushing, squirrel farts, and everything else in between. To make matters worse, he does a ‘random one bark’ (One very LOUD bark) every 15-20 minutes or so, usually when you are trying to take a nap.

    We also bought the Bark off with NO luck. It was promptly returned! How the heck are we suppose to know if it works?!?

    Then we bought a shock collar… I know, I know, we are SO mean. Well, he barks right through it! So we are back to square one…

  • Stefanie B. June 22, 2011, 7:27 pm

    Have you heard of citronella bark collars? Every time they bark it squirts citronella in the air and they don’t like the smell. My friend has two dogs that bark constantly but as soon as those collars go on, they know not to bark!

  • Judy June 22, 2011, 7:39 pm

    I’m mentioning that Maggie’s coat looks like velvet. Ooooh!

  • Rosi June 22, 2011, 7:55 pm

    The bark off device works on my noisy pup. I think she just doesn’t care. haha!

  • Rosi June 22, 2011, 8:15 pm

    She being Maggie, that is

  • Arlene @ Adventures in Weight Loss June 22, 2011, 8:37 pm

    This post is too funny. My Cocoa isn’t the brightest pup on the planet either (though I suspect she’s smarter than she lets on). The Bark-Off my roommate’s officemate gave her didn’t do anything, either.

    The vet once said Cocoa has a high tolerance for pain (good because she has arthritis in both knees), so I think the Bark-Off just doesn’t deter her because it doesn’t bother her much. Same thing went for the bark-stopping collar we got for her.

    • Caitlin June 23, 2011, 9:22 am

      This might be Maggie’s problem – I think she has a very high pain tolerance, too.

  • samantha June 22, 2011, 8:49 pm

    I got one of those also and it didn’t work. One of the employees at Petco told me the $9.99 ones don’t work. I am not sure if it’s true or if he just wanted me to buy their more expensive one. I use a water bottle as well and it helps, but you have to keep it with you all the time so you can be ready anytime the pup barks.

  • chelsey @ clean eating chelsey June 22, 2011, 9:11 pm
  • Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin June 22, 2011, 9:38 pm

    LOL I can’t believe she pooped in your hubby’s shoes! That had me cracking up so hard!

  • Grace June 22, 2011, 10:16 pm

    My chihuahua tried to jump up the BACK of a couch several times. He totally wiped out.

  • sarah k. @ the pajama chef June 22, 2011, 10:27 pm


  • Kris June 22, 2011, 10:32 pm

    You just gotta love the simple dogs. My dog did most of those things (running into the slider/lanai door was classic), but for the most part she was quiet. But in her last few months, she started barking — always when she had made a mess and wanted it cleaned up. She would poop and then walk through it, spreading it all over our kitchen floor. DH even caught her getting ready to stick her paw in it one morning. Our next door neighbor commented on the poor barking, whining dog, and I told her it was because the dumb dog had walked her poo all over the kitchen and wanted it cleaned up. I’m pretty sure at that point she was dumb and demented. Drove me crazy, but it was all worth it in the end for 15 years of love.

  • Laura @ Cookies vs. Carrots June 22, 2011, 10:38 pm

    This sounds exactly like my dog! He barks at the most random things. I’ve tried using a spray bottle to squirt him when he barks, and it works ok. The hardest part is getting over my laziness when the spray bottle is in the bedroom and Tanner is barking in the living room!

  • Dana (Struggles of a Twenty Something) June 22, 2011, 10:45 pm

    I would assume that James hears the noise too. Have you noticed a change in barking with him?

    • Caitlin June 23, 2011, 9:23 am

      He usually doesn’t bark, so nope.

  • Katie @ peacebeme June 22, 2011, 11:28 pm

    Truly laughed out loud at this post. 😉 Reminds me of my basset hound. Hey they may be dumb but at least they are funny!

  • Kate June 22, 2011, 11:57 pm

    I just had to say: I was at the pet store two days ago and the owner was telling my husband and I about his wiener dog he had that barked at everything. He bought it the high end shock collar and the dog just didn’t get it. He finally had to take off the collar because he was afraid of permanently doing damage to his dog.

    So you are not alone.

  • Marie June 23, 2011, 12:39 am

    I feel bad for your other pup having to hear the squealing of the device when he’s not the one barking!

  • Amanda June 23, 2011, 5:23 am

    My in-laws have two daschunds…. and they don’t quite get along. In fact when one barks the other starts barking… its like they’re competing with each other for who is louder! And they bark at EVERYTHING. Car in the driveway, person at the door, person in the house, rain… the wind! You are not alone….

  • Jessica June 23, 2011, 8:33 am

    I dont think the Bark Off works AT ALL! I have one too and my doxie ignores it as well. I watched him closely the first time to see if he even notcied a sound and…nothing. It’s tragic. I think we’re going to have to buckle and pay the big bucks for one if we want it to work…

  • Stephanie Clement June 23, 2011, 10:09 am

    I am wayy too lazy to read through all the comments to figure out if anyone has said this already, but we have two schnauzers and holy balloons they are loud! My mom treats them like her children, so she doesn’t really mind. My dad however HATES when they bark. SO they bought them these barking collars. The dogs wear them when we expect guests (the door bell is the trigger…or passers by that they can hear). When they bark, it emits a spray of febreeze type of stuff. Its very gentle…but they hate it! WE love it. They’ve eventually learned what it means (took a while….one is “special” like Maggie). I really suggest looking into it! When they do bark (I think sometimes they just need to get the ‘led’ out) it smells like fresh lemons! Email me if you’d like specifics!!

  • Coco June 23, 2011, 5:51 pm

    my dog has this EXACT same device (a beagle) and it works!

  • Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) June 26, 2011, 7:45 pm

    LOL – I love when you tell us about Maggie 🙂 How precious is she!!!!

  • Cati @ crave and create June 27, 2011, 3:18 pm

    I don’t think you’re a sucker at all…sounds like Maggie might just need LOTS and LOTS of practice with the “Bark Off.” 🙂 Cute post!

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