Interesting. I agree with the 1, 3 and 5 but not 2 and 4. As a faster runner, I think running together is about compromise. On long runs, Husband runs ~10min/pace when he runs alone; I run about 8:40. We try to compromise around 9:30. Honestly, slowing down to a 10min pace hurts my joints. And I love running with faster people because it pushes me harder and makes me run faster. That’s how I get better!

And walking…only if you get permission first. If I plan on running with a friend, I expect running!

I definitely agree with these rules. If you agree to run with someone, it’s a social experience. If you need a serious training run, then do it alone or have a specific running buddy who goes at your pace and you know that you two are going to push each other.

Caitlin this post was awesome! Thank you! I will keep these rules in mind when I run with my buddy tomorrow.

This goes for hiking, too. I hike with a friend who turned out to be someone who hikes much faster. The first hike I tried to keep up and was miserable. The second hike, I just let her go ahead since it was clear she didn’t want to hike at my pace.. The third hike, I invited a different friend. Much better!

Never thought about these, but I feel like they will make me a better running buddy!
Thanks!

I complleteely agree! I always play music minus the headphones when I run with friends at a quite enough sound where I don’t have to talk over it if we’re talking, but if we get in the zone and stop talking at least we’re shoulder to shoulder with music playing to stop the awkward silence. I’m the friend that’ll push you to just never stop, but I’ll walk if I know you really want to.

I absolutely agree with all of these, def not crazy rules!!

These are all so true! Ive never run with anyone except hubby, and he always does the three steps ahead thing too. Drives me nuts! We usually run with music, but we’re joining a training group for our first marathon, so I’m interested to see how that will play out (pun intended…)

I rarely comment but your rule about running in line with your buddy is completely one of my “rules” but it pertains to anywhere! I have a friend who always walks 3-4 steps ahead when we’re going to a restaurant or wherever. She always has to do this weird head tilt thing to listen to what I’m saying so I’ve stopped talking when she does that and call her out on it by saying “I’ll just tell you at dinner b/c I feel like I have to yell for you to hear me when you’re walking ahead of me”. Usually she gets the hint b/c I make it sound like it’s *me* with the problem but … the restaurant/spa/store/car will still be there if you walk 3 steps “slower” to walk with me!

I am a solo runner but I agree with every one of these! I think the reason I prefer running alone is because I don’t want that pressure of feeling like I’m slowing them down.

I. love. your. rules.

#1 made me laugh. My boyfriend does the exact same thing, except that when we hit a hill the 3 steps ahead turns into about 30 steps ahead. At first I used to push myself to catch up to him but then when I did he would just accelerate again! That drove me crazy! Now I just go at my own pace and he slows down or waits for me every so often. I still like running with him :).

I completely disagree with #4 though. I would never run with anyone who insisted on taking walking breaks. Running is running. It is not walking. Caitlin, you are a non-overweight 20 something year old woman who has been exercising regularly for years so I don’t think that you ‘need’ to take walking breaks when running 3 miles. Unless you have a medical problem the only explanation for this is that you’re not willing to push yourself at all (which is kind of what running and other endurance sports are all about). Note: I am talking about your running pre-pregnancy.

I think your rules are reasonable. It’s a good idea to hash out your expectations in advance if possible so there are no surprises/hurt feelings.

Love these rules! If all runners were like you, then I wouldn’t be so nervous about running with other people. I’m always scared I’m going to slow my friends down or hold them back.

I totally understand these rules! When my husband runs with me he treats it more like a contest, which means he’s actually running far ahead of me and I’m behind him seething with irritation. I didn’t realize that him being ahead of me was the reason for my irritation until now though!

#5 is my pet peeve. I asked my friend who had not been running much to run a half marathon with me. She agreed and we trained together during our long runs and sometimes one other run a week. We discovered she is a much faster runner than I but our long runs went fine because she ran my pace. The night before the half marathon she said, I’m just going to run my pace because this is the only half marathon I’ll ever run. I was so mad and although I did great the next day it still really ticks me off. If I’d wanted to run the half marathon alone I wouldn’t have asked her to run it with me. =)

You’re missing out if you don’t do speedwork with friends! I’ve run with the same crew for YEARS, but on speed days, it’s up to each person to keep up. And on race day, everyone runs their own race!

I think it’s absolutely terrible when you can’t agree whether you’re gonna chat or listen to music and when a buddy makes you feel guilty for wanting to take a walking break! I’m actually looking for a new running buddy now, because of those two issues. But it’s good that the hubby learned his lesson! 😉

I’m not a runner, but I don’t think your “crazy” rules sound crazy at all! They just sound like common courtesy to me. 🙂

I was running with a friend the other day, when I was reminded of this post. Said friend was basically doing the opposite of everything you mentioned, and we were both getting frustrated. Very helpful tips 🙂

Thanks for sharing your rules, I think they are very good tips!