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Guilt is a Drug

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Oatmeal, glorious homemade oatmeal!

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The Husband let me sleep in (and boy, after 4 straight nights of sleeplessness due to an Operation Beautiful presentation, visiting friends in DC, and Fit Bloggin’ in Baltimore, I needed it).  When I woke up, I practically ran to the kitchen to make Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal.

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My oatmeal contained:

 

  • 1/2 cup oatmeal
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 sliced banana
  • 1/4 cup canned pumpkin
  • 1 tablespoon instant coffee
  • Toppings: brown sugar, cinnamon, almonds

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Perfect is an Addiction, Guilt is a Drug

 

There was a product at the Fit Bloggin’ conference called the Gruve Solution.  Basically, it’s a small device that clips to your belt buckle and indicates with a red, yellow, or green light whether you’ve moved enough (AKA burned “enough” calories for the day according the weight and height information you enter into the system).  If you are still for too long, the Gruve buzzes at you to “alert” you to go walk around or something.

 

Reviews at the conference on the Gruve were VERY mixed.  And I can see both camps.  Maybe if you’re just starting to be active, wearing such a device can help alert you to your habits.  But in general, I felt totally obsessive wearing the Gruve (i.e. checking the light, getting anxious when it buzzed).  It buzzed during my panel presentation and made me feel SOOOO guilty for being still (it’s not like I could stand up!).  I feel like the product emphasizes that we need a machine to “do healthy right.”

 

Last night, I was trying to sleep, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the Gruve, guilt, and other topics I had discussed with women at the conference.

 

Do you keep a notebook by your bed to get your ideas out?  I do!

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For so many people, the pursuit of perfection is an addiction.  For a long time, I felt addicted to being “perfect” with my diet and exercise.  That doesn’t mean I actually ever was perfect, but it does mean that I spent a lot of time feeling guilty.  Guilt is a drug.  When I wasn’t “superwoman,” when I blew off my workouts, when I ate late-night drunk pizza, I got a fix for my perfectionism by feeling guilty.

 

When we’re focused on the idea of being perfect, guilt serves as our temporary fix.  No one can be perfect, but we can punish themselves mentally and emotionally for their “bad” behavior.  And that makes us behave better next time… right?

 

Wrong.  So wrong.

 

When I stopped pursing perfection and stopped believing it was OK to beat myself up for transgressions, I freed myself.  I became HAPPY.  I never realized how unhappy I was (in the areas of health, fitness, and body image) until I stepped back and realized what guilt was doing to me.

 

Want to break the addiction?  Here are the 4 simple steps I used:

 

1)  Think critically about the commercialization of guilt:  Where do these feelings come from, anyway?  The longer I’m involved with Operation Beautiful and a part of the blog community, the more I realize that guilt is a commercial product.  Companies want to SELL you on feeling guilty – because then they make money.  Clothing companies want to make you feel unpretty so you buy their products, and diet pills want you to believe you need to suppress your hunger.  Many areas of our society profit off of your guilt. 

 

2) Recognize that guilty has limitations that positive reinforcement and forgiveness do not:  Sometimes, guilt does have positive, short-term effects.  You overeat at dinner.  You feel guilty.  So you hit the gym extra hard that night.  So guilt worked, right?  In my opinion, it did not.  You hurt yourself emotionally and mentally by berating yourself into a healthy activity.  Fitness and healthy eating should be FUN, not punishment.  Forgiveness and positivity have the same short-term impact of guilt, but without the other consequences. Guilt is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  In fact, forgiveness and positivity makes it unlikely that you will repeat self-destructive behaviors in the future, thus breaking yourself of the perfection addiction.

 

3) Replace guilty thoughts with positive, realistic talk:  When I guilt myself (and it does occasionally happen still), I consciously acknowledge that I am engaging in a negative behavior and replace my guilt with positive, realistic talk.  This is similar to how I feel with Fat Talk, which are closely related.

 

4) Realize that feeling guilty for feeling guilty is just another form of perfectionism:  This is the big one for me.  Sometimes, I feel bad for guilting myself – don’t I know better?  But it’s OK to have irrational thoughts and feelings… it’s not OK to let them take over  your life.  There are lots of things at play here – societal pressures, your own background and history, and other deep-set behavioral patterns.  I don’t think the goal is to NEVER feel guilty; the goal should be to recognize that it’s not the answer or a part of a healthy lifestyle.

 

What are your thoughts on guilt? Do you think the Gruve Solution would make you feel guilty? Why do you think we use guilt as a drug?  Were you/are you addicted to perfectionism?

{ 124 comments }

 

Leave a Comment

  • Beth @ Beth's Journey to Thin March 22, 2010, 9:28 am

    I think the Gruve would make me a little crazy. I’m pretty self aware, so I try to get up and walk around pretty frequently while I’m sitting at my desk, and I think I would start looking at it all the time and get a little obsessive with it. I struggle with guilt a lot when I miss workouts or eat too much or unhealthy things, but I’m trying to snap out of that. I think it’s all about moderation, so you have to give into cravings sometimes and listen to your body if you need a break!

    Reply
  • Kelly March 22, 2010, 9:29 am

    Yeah I think I would have a problem with the Gruve making me feel guilty. I sit at a desk for 8.5 hours a day. I already feel guilty as it is since I’ve gained a few pounds since I havent’ been able to run. I don’t need something else making me feel that way.

    Reply
  • Freya @ Brit Chick Runs March 22, 2010, 9:29 am

    Super post! That Gruve thing would without a doubt make me feel guilty- I know I’d end up obsessing over it and feeling terrible, it so wouldn’t be worth it.
    I definetly used to guilt myself WAY too much, but I’m learnig to stop doing it now (and your blog is a BIG help in that!) – I was totally addicted to perfectionism, and I am still, but I’m learning how to channel it into a positive thing. So I can excel at things I love and want to, and perfect them, but not sweat the small stuff as much, if that makes sense?
    I hate guilt though…life is too short, it’s a terrible emotion.
    Brilliant post! Great tips :D Thankyou!!

    Reply
  • Bethany (@ NotUnlessI'mBeingChased) March 22, 2010, 9:30 am

    Wow. I don’t think I could handle the Gruve Solution. I’m pretty Type A and I would be obsessing over the different lights and buzzing and what not hard core. I prefer to listen to my body to give me cues when to be active instead of relying on a little machine to do the talking.
    I think it would also enrich the quality of the exercise. If I got my rear in gear because I felt like I needed to, then I would enjoy it. If I did it because a buzzer went off, I would resent the workout AND the buzzer. ;)

    Reply
  • Jessica @ How Sweet March 22, 2010, 9:33 am

    I didn’t get the Gruve, but I can totally see how it would make someone obsessive. Luckily, I have never really been ridden with guilt about food/exercise/moving. I think maybe it comes from working in a gym and just being there ALL the time – I know that at times I need to rest. Sometimes I get guilt about other personal situations. Either way, the Gruve buzzing would probably still make me crazy!

    Reply
  • Kat (Kat's Daily Plate) March 22, 2010, 9:34 am

    I think that we already have SO much pressure on ourselves as women in today’s society to succeed professionally, take care of our families, and look great while doing it…. it is just too much, and the ideal of perfection that is put upon us is not real.
    A device like this just seems like it would exacerbate the pressure that all of us already feel. I wouldn’t go near it! I just listen to my body, and I know how much I need to move every day to feel good!
    Thanks for this post- such an important topic.

    Reply
  • Jenny March 22, 2010, 9:34 am

    I thought that last night I would possibly want the Gruve but it would kill me if I had to study or work at a desk for a long period of time – doesn’t the Gruve understand that somtimes we have to sit to work?

    But, on the other hand, it’s nice because it could remind you to take a break to walk around? But that’s such a small thing in comparison to feelings of guilt without even having the product! Whew!

    Reply
  • Mellissa March 22, 2010, 9:35 am

    My husband and I just had a conversation about guilt and how it can just eat at you and cause major stress! I am working on how to let it go- I have a notebook by the bed now and I use it when I have 10 Million thoughts running through my head at 2am.

    Reply
  • swimsutra March 22, 2010, 9:36 am

    Honestly, that little device would drive me crazy. I already feel “guilty” that I have to sit for much of the day for work… and it isn’t like I am sitting doing nothing, I’m working! And I use much of my off time from work being active as it is. Yeah, I’ve dealt with feelings of guilt surrounding not being active enough–which is really silly (I realize this know), because I am an athlete and I am really rather active, doing different activities and constantly challenging myself. Whew! I am active now because I love the mental and physical release I get from it, not because I should.

    Great post!

    Reply
  • Mara @ What's For Dinner? March 22, 2010, 9:37 am

    I really want a Gruve mostly because I need a reminder that being lazy isn’t the best solution. If you want to get rid of yours, feel free to send it my way :) I feel like I’m hardwired to feel guilt, mostly because of my Jewish upbringing. There’s a huge undertone of guilt, especially when it comes to family and food.

    On another note, I’m having a Twilight-themed giveaway on my blog…you should definitely check it out :)

    Reply
    • Julie @SavvyEats March 22, 2010, 9:54 am

      If Caitlin doesn’t send you her’s,I will send you mine!

      Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 10:02 am

      I didn’t bring it home with me :( Sorry!

      Reply
  • swimsutra March 22, 2010, 9:37 am

    Something else to think about… sometimes reading too many healthy living blogs brings up guilt. Guilt that I’m not eating as cleanly or organically or what have you. Or that I’m not (yet, hehe!) racing in some of these amazing distances or speeds. Blogs are definitely motivating but can be another form of comparison and guilt!

    Reply
    • Becky March 22, 2010, 10:00 am

      Totally agree. It’s a fine line between inspiration/motivation and comparison.

      Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 10:03 am

      I agree. I think that it’s the readers’ responsibly to read blogs that they enjoy and do not make them feel guilty for their own life choices.

      Reply
      • Heather March 22, 2010, 12:58 pm

        I agree – on both parts! it is a fine line but it’s a readers responsibility, just as it’s our own responsibilities to draw the line in advertising, products, & comparison to just about ANYTHING.

        I think we ALL have fallen prey to blogger-friend comparision. It can definitely be harmful OR hurtful- depending on how we go about it. I would venture to say that as “healthy living” bloggers we tend to be a bit competitive by nature- so we are constantly comparing pace times, number/duration of workouts each week, what kind of definitions we use to defnie ourselves, and of course, blog popularity. It’s definitley part of the human condition, or at least the American condition, to both compare ourselves and desire to find something RELATABLE. ["she/he" understands me/is so much like me/knows what it's like to do this/etc] –

        Personally, it’s drawing THAT line that is a challenge for me. Remembering that I can be apart of the community and have a respect/relationship with a blogger and yet not be as ___________ as her/him. [fast, buff, dedicated, far along in following their dreams, etc.]

        Reply
  • Joanne March 22, 2010, 9:38 am

    I completely agree with your evaluation of guilt. It can be positive however most of the time creates a negative outcome.
    But I also think we can’t help the way we are. Certain personality types strive for perfectionism and it’s what keeps us in competitions, goal oriented, and doing better at our jobs and hobbies. If we lose our perspective on our personal ability, then it is time to take a step back and evaluate whether or not we have entereed the “unhealthy” zone.
    Great post, Caitlin. Glad you had a safe and successful trip. Good lookin’ oats. Yum.

    Reply
    • Heather March 22, 2010, 1:00 pm

      i have a page a day desk calendar here near my computer. Today celebrates Reese Witherspoon’s birthday by quoting her:

      “I don’t believe in perfection. I don’t think there is such a thing. But the energy of wanting things to be great is a perfectionist energy.”

      found it fitting, no?

      Reply
  • Estela @ Weekly Bite March 22, 2010, 9:38 am

    Guilt can be a big problem… as is perfectionism. In my early twenties and I had major problems with this… I’m so happy to say that I’ve moved passed it!

    Reply
  • Juliene March 22, 2010, 9:38 am

    Perfect blog for my mood today. I have been on my weight loss journey for 8 months now and when I have off days with eating I feel terribly guilty. I am not on a diet but rather a lifestyle change so I rarely deny myself any foods, however on weekend like this past one where we were eating out copiously I always feel guilty. I do usually spend the next 2 days tormenting myself about how those unhealthy eating days will make me slip back to my previous unhealthy weight. I don’t know why we all have this obsession with perfection, but I am sure a lot of it is societal pressure. I felt the negative effects of people scrutinizing me for being overweight for many years, and although I now get plenty of positive reinforcement, it has not stopped people from still being negative, especially other women. Your tips are helpful and hopefully it will help me with my crazy addiction to perfection

    Reply
  • Shannon (The Daily Balance) March 22, 2010, 9:38 am

    GREAT post, Caitlin — certainly gets you thinking!

    Like you said, I see the benefits of GRUVE for someone who might just be getting started, but I think it’s a slippery slope with guilty/perfection-driven thoughts and I’d worry that it would quickly become a tool that creates unhealthy practices/behaviors.

    Reply
  • Christina March 22, 2010, 9:39 am

    That gruve solution thing would make me crazy with guilt! I’d obsess over it too. NOT a good product, IMO! Even for people just starting out in fitness, I think it would promote obsession, and not result in doing fitness for enjoyment/to be healthier.

    Reply
  • Sophie @ yumventures March 22, 2010, 9:40 am

    Love this post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, you have such a great way of expressing things! I think that little machine would make me feel guilty, but even more just obsess over it. Things like that, and counting calories and other things that constantly make you think about food and exercise, become obsessions. I believe people are at their healthiest when they don’t have to think about and monitor those things to feel good, but listen to their body cues and do what makes them happy!

    Reply
  • Kristine March 22, 2010, 9:40 am

    Guilt really is a drug! I suffer with this a lot. Thanks for the post.
    Also, I am a full time grad student and I couldn’t imagine sitting in class and having that thing beep at me! Talk about embarassing!

    Reply
  • Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg March 22, 2010, 9:41 am

    Ha, that’s funny– I absolutely did not feel guilty about the Gruve buzzing…which I guess kind of defeats the purpose of it! But I think you make a really good point here about the commercialization of guilt– companies capitalize off of our own insecurities, and find ways to make us feel guilty about things we might not have even considered– I don’t feel guilty about things like exercise, mainly because I know I get enough, and I’m relatively confident in my healthy, active choices. BUT, I feel a HUGE amount of guilt whenever I see ads for “proactive skin care,” because I have a strange obsession with preventing aging…AT TWENTY-SEVEN years old! I know that I’m not old enough to worry about things like wrinkles, but I DO! I feel really guilty that I’m not using the creams and serums that are aimed at 50 year old women!

    Okay, sorry, that was a bit of a tangent!

    Reply
  • Stephanie March 22, 2010, 9:43 am

    Great post. I actually love the Gruve, it makes me want to be active & move around and I feel like I can brush off the “guilt’ of when I am not by knowing that is not permanent (i.e. 3 hour train ride haha bzzzzz). It buzzed me yesterday at home and I got up and started doing a few pushups and situps, which I know w/out the Gruve I would have probably not randomly done. I call it the bully haha, but not in a bad way – more like how Jillian Michaels can sometimes seem like a “bully” ;) So I can def see how it could fit into individuals’ lives in different ways – but for me I think it’s a positive!

    Reply
  • Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine March 22, 2010, 9:46 am

    I think the Gruve would be interesting to wear on lazy days where I don’t have too much else to focus on, in order to get me moving instead of sitting on the couch all day. But you’re right, I think it could definitely become addictive! I already feel guilty enough when I skip a workout or eat a sundae, I don’t need to feel guilty any more often! Great question, and have an awesome Monday!

    Reply
  • megan March 22, 2010, 9:47 am

    this is a great post. I’ve been thinking about this recently too, and I’ve been making myself feel guilty for my food choices. but no more! :) I read the book “what to say when you talk to yourself” and I”m going to try that approach. “I am a healthy eater. I love to make good choices. I am good at choosing to eat things that make me feel healthy and good.” I feel better already! :)

    Reply
  • Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) March 22, 2010, 9:48 am

    I would love to try that Gruve thing because I KNOW I don’t move enough. I think I might become obsessed though, and that isn’t good.

    I feel guilty A LOT … mostly when it comes to exercise, and rarely/ never when it comes to food.

    Reply
  • Christie @ Honoring Health March 22, 2010, 9:50 am

    Such an important topic, Caitlin. I don’t think the gurve would work for me at all. I have enough guilt without worrying about a little machine attached to my hip! I think society has taught us to believe that we are not good enough no matter and I think the gurve just perpetuates that. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to work on my feelings of guilt, most of which still revolve around exercise. I don’t really have food guilt anymore but exercise is still a bear for me. I need to work on my exercise resistance in a way that honors my recovery not in a way that honor a little buzzing machine!

    Reply
  • Lisa March 22, 2010, 9:51 am

    this post came at a perfect time for me–I too tend to be a perfectionist and when things don’t go as planned or perfectly, I do get a lot of stress and feelings of guilt that come with it. Thanks for the post.

    Reply
  • Ali March 22, 2010, 9:54 am

    This is a great post Caitlin! I agree with you about the Gruve causing guilt. I certainly felt it during the conference. As someone that used to suffer from bouts of disordered eating, I know a lot about guilt. I also agree that when you let go of the guilt, though a lot easier said than done, you become a much happier person. Possiably healthier too, as in my case! Great points!

    Reply
  • Bella (Stilettos on the Streetcar) March 22, 2010, 10:02 am

    Such a great post, Caitlin! It hits the nail on the head. Guilt plays a huge role in my life. I’ve only just realized how much of the day I spend feeling guilty over too much food, not enough food, not the right food, not enough activity, not the right activity etc. And the list goes on! I’m going to try your four steps and relieve myself of at least some of these negative thoughts.

    THANK YOU!

    Reply
  • Laura March 22, 2010, 10:03 am

    hi Caitlin!
    I loved this post. When I was in college, a teacher of mine recommended a book called Appetites, and it changed my life by changing how I felt about the guilt associated with having an appetite (for women)! It’s a really heavy read, but it’s not too thick of a book, so I recommend it if you are looking for a new book to tackle! I still go back and re-read underlined passages when I need to remind myself that it’s OKAY to have an appetite–and that goes for everything in life, not just food. :)

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 10:06 am

      thanks for the book recommendation – i will add it to my always growing list. LOL

      Reply
  • Cynthia (It All Changes) March 22, 2010, 10:04 am

    That would make me feel really guilty. During the day I can’t get up and walk around although I often feel guilt and want to. And guilt has caused me to push harder to get injured.

    When I let go of guilt and the idea that I posted my workouts for the week but didn’t get them in I was more okay with who I was an balancing life. My perfectionism doesn’t allow me to get in a good balance so sometimes a hard workout for the night is cut in favor of a leisurely walk with Hunni and the puppers and I have to be okay with that.

    Reply
  • Paige (Running Around Normal) March 22, 2010, 10:07 am

    Ohh, I could definitely see how the Gruve would be fuilt-inducing. Not to mention I’d probably want to throw it against a wall after a short period of time :D
    I can see the benefits, but it just wouldn’t be for me.
    I did strive to be ‘perfect’ and at times I still catch myself trying to be perfect. But if I’m not, it’s OK. Perfect is boring anyway :-p
    Great conversation, yet again!

    Reply
  • Whitney @ Whitinspired March 22, 2010, 10:07 am

    The gruve would drive me nuts. I have issues with guilt related to eating big time. It’s definitely improved in the last few years, but after I have a bowl of ice cream,I still think. Why did I just eat that? I’ve tried to teach myself that if I’m craving something, it’s ok to have it.

    Reply
  • Liz March 22, 2010, 10:11 am

    I certainly have struggled with guilt related to food and exercise my whole life. I find that reading positive blogs like this one help a lot. I also think focusing on achieving fitness goals, whether running a race or lifting more, rather than focusing on a number on the scale helps a lot. It changed my thinking from being a perfectionist to being proud of what I can do.

    Reply
  • Heather (Heather's Dish) March 22, 2010, 10:15 am

    i totally agree with this…coming from a background of disordered eating, i totally feel guilty for not “behaving” correctly with my diet and exercise. guilt is definitely a drug…like if i feel bad enough i’ll “do better” next time. but that’s not a healthy way to live at all! thanks so much for bringing this to the forefront…it’s something I think a LOT of women need to hear!

    Reply
  • Shayna @ Cuts and Curves March 22, 2010, 10:17 am

    Great guilt points. I OFTEN feel guilty about eating or exercise. I’ll try thinking consciously about it next time. Thanks!

    Reply
  • Suzanne March 22, 2010, 10:20 am

    Thanks for this post today. I know all about being addicted to perfectionism. I remember how striving for perfectionism used to consume me, and sometimes those feelings come flooding back to me. The key is to shift our thinking from striving for perfectionsim to striving for excellence. I think we should always push ourselves to be better, but we need to be aware of our limitations and abilities and not berate ourselves for them. Perfection is impossible, and certain flaws really aren’t bad. They keep things interesting. Excellence means being the best versions of ourselves, always trying to improve but knowing that self-betterment is an ongoing journey. We should let ourselves revel in every accomplishment we achieve, instead of always looking towards the next one. We need to learn to be proud of who we are at this very moment.

    Reply
  • Anna March 22, 2010, 10:21 am

    Yea, I think the Gruve is an interesting concept with good intentions but I just don’t think it’s really all that useful for people who are already aware of their exercise habits. Also, it neglects to accomodate for the fact that sometimes you just CAN’T move, like when you’re listening to speakers at a conference… or sleeping. I couldn’t figure out how to turn my off and it was going off all night! Eventually the battery died, but I guess if you hook it up to your computer you can fix the settings to turn it off.

    Reply
  • clay March 22, 2010, 10:29 am

    Great post! I don’t like the gruve product but in terms of guilt, i try not to have much. I take note of the past to improve on the future but i do NOT dwell on it because that just causes negativity in my life.

    Reply
  • Lauren @ Eater not a runner March 22, 2010, 10:35 am

    This is such a great post! I actually think that as I give myself a “pass” to not be perfect and not feel guilty, it becomes easier to lead a healthier lifestyle. Now instead of letting a slip-up cause a binge, I can just move on!!

    Reply
  • Foy - Garden. Cook. Write. Repeat. March 22, 2010, 10:36 am

    I lost weight with guilt. It’s true. I used Weight Watchers. The idea of weighing in in front of a person (and who ever was behind me in line) made me stick to my goals. I did learn a lot about portion control. But I was also no fun to hang out with. I ran and worked out obsesively and I wouldn’t eat out at a restaurant unless I could look up their health information a head of time. I was always hungry so I had a short fuse. My poor boyfriend. He was supportive and worked very hard cook the right food for me. He lost weight, which he really didn’t have any to lose, simply because I only cooked for me and he ate a lot of my “diet” food.

    Then I realized this was unsustainable. I started cooking for both of us. He’s a foot taller than me and bikes everywhere so he needs more bulk and protien. I started not looking at how many Points a food item had, but where it came from and if it was “real food”. I decided sugar-free 0-calorie Jell-o did not count as food.

    I got rid of my food guilt. I did gain a few pounds, but it’s okay. I’m happy with myself and my boyfriend is now my husband. …and we lived happily ever after.

    Reply
  • Rose March 22, 2010, 10:38 am

    Awesome post, Caitlin. I was just seeing a lot of information about Gruve and looking into it – so it was very timely for me. Thanks for writing this!

    Reply
  • Becky @ flybynyght March 22, 2010, 10:38 am

    I wouldn’t last long with the Gruve – I would DEFINITELY feel guilt with it. Not for this girl. I’ve also been trying to not feel guilty about choices I make that aren’t what I may think I *should* choose. But I made a choice and maybe next time I’ll make a different choice. The end.

    I love having a notebook next to my bed – it’s where I seem to come up with my most important realizations about myself and life in general.

    Reply
  • Matt March 22, 2010, 10:41 am

    I think that thing would drive me NUTS.

    Reply
  • Nicole, RD March 22, 2010, 10:46 am

    That would drive me nuts, too. I sit all day at work and I know the toll it’s paid on my weight (argh!). I can get up, walk around, utilize my lunch, but it’s still not enough! I am hypersensitive about this already, I wouldn’t want an electronic making me even more aware of my sedentary job. I hate to depend on yet another electronic, too. When I counsel people, I heavily preference the good’ole pen and paper method versus online.

    Reply
  • Kathleen March 22, 2010, 10:48 am

    Yes, I think the Gruve would make me feel guilty and while I understand that it would alert newly active people to their habits…no one contraption can tell someone how to go about their fitness/weight loss/healthy living routine. Everyone has a different need and ability (especially when starting out) so this little gadget can only give you one perspective and put newly active people in a bad mindset. The Gruve is a good concept but it can’t take into account the individual factors about each person and their unique approach to healthy living…this thing is kind of lost in the execution.

    And I am a total type A perfectionist with OCD and I know this thing would guilt/freak/stress me out. My nutritionist would freak if she knew that I were using something like that because it would feed into my obsessive ana/mia mindset…

    I LOVE this post because of the last 4 points in it…what a great way to start off this week with positive thinking and loving of the self! Thanks for being an inspiration Caitlin!

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 10:51 am

      thank you sweetie

      Reply
  • Tina March 22, 2010, 10:51 am

    This is such a great post that so many can benefit from. My favorite was the idea that forgiveness and positivity will go a long way in producing healthy, beneficial attitudes and behaviors without negative consequences. Guilt is a very tough emotion to battle since it is usually something ingrained in us from early on, but thankfully there are people like you who work hard to get positive message out to others. :)

    Reply
  • Gracie March 22, 2010, 11:02 am

    (Trying my best to type via cellphone, ha) I wanted to add that the quest for perfection *for me* also depends a lot on the people I’m with. When I was at FitBloggin, surrounded by ladies who practice healthy, balanced lifestyles and appreciated me for ME and not my looks/body/blog…I haven’t felt that comfortable around other girls in…forever! Yet I also would still feel completely comfortable discussing these issues of guilt/perfection, which is so important bc I feel like it tends to be an unspoken issue among so many women.

    Reply
  • Jessica @ The Process of Healing March 22, 2010, 11:03 am

    How much do I love this post?! I can very much relate. I used to aim for perfectionism too and felt MAJOR guilt when I didn’t live up to my un-realistic expectations. And then I suffered a stress fracture and have been off of exercise of any form for months and because of the guilt, these months have been HELL for me. Until I realized that it’s stupid to feel guilty for something that I CAN’T do! I was feeling guilty for giving my body what it wanted – rest. How crazy is that?!

    Reply
  • Tracey March 22, 2010, 11:06 am

    I can see your point about the Gruve making you feel guilty. I don’t think the Gruve would make me feel guilty but it would make me go back to my extreme competitive ways.

    I think the product should be aimed towards those with desk jobs. Those people who sit at a desk for 8 hours and don’t even get up to talk to people. Back in the day office workers at least had to get up and move to communicate with other people in the office but now we have email, conference calls and instant messaging so there is no need to get up.

    A year ago I bought my, office working, husband a Gruve and it really helped him stay motivated to get up and move his body. He would get so consumed in his work and hours would go by without him even realizing it. When he had the Gruve, and felt the buzz, it at lease helped him remember to get up and take a short walk.

    So, the product worked fantastic for him. To bad it broke after a couple months:(

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 12:19 pm

      thanks for providing me with an example of how gruve can be helpful!

      Reply
  • Amber K @ sparkpeople March 22, 2010, 11:13 am

    I think the Gruve would definitely make me feel guilty. I would probably start out trying to move constantly just so I could never have it buzz at me. But eventually I would have run myself ragged and come to resent the thing.

    I don’t know if I am “addicted” to guilt or not. But I do have problems with perfectionism. But I do think I sometimes feel like I “have” to feel guilty, otherwise….wow otherwise I don’t know! If I don’t regret making bad choices, then I guess I feel like I would be saying I don’t care about myself. Even though that isn’t true.

    Wow, you’ve really got me thinking this morning!

    Reply
  • Beth March 22, 2010, 11:13 am

    I think most gadgets like that are a load of crap. Isn’t the whole point to understand and listen to our bodies? Instead we are listening to a buzzer that is telling us when to move?What if you’re ill? Is it going to tell you to take some vitamin C and get rest? I’ll stick with my instincts, thank you ;)

    Reply
  • Ellen March 22, 2010, 11:15 am

    I agree, I think the Gruve would only make me more obsessive than I already am! I’m hard on myself as it is, so I don’t think I need a device to tell me I’m not moving around enough! I have a hard time letting go of guilty feelings, but it’s something I’m working on. I’ve realized that guilt just makes me feel more depressed, and since I tend to be an emotional eater, it creates a terrible cycle of binge eating/feeling guilty/promising to never do it again…until I DO…and then it happens all over again. It’s exhausting!

    http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  • Jacquie March 22, 2010, 11:21 am

    The Gruve was weird and I admit that when it buzzed, I’d jump about a foot in the air, but then I did want to get up and move. I took it off Saturday night and haven’t put it on since which I think is a good thing.
    I’ve been “addicted” to perfection and because of that, I was already skeptical of putting it on from the beginning. The only thing that I can see as helpful and good is that it’s not counting calories so there’s no numbers to get caught up in, but at the same time, I think you can feel in your body if you have energy to exercise which is more important.

    Reply
  • Emily March 22, 2010, 11:21 am

    Thanks so much for sharing this, Caitlin. Guilt is such a subtle but destructive thing that gets deeply rooted in our mindset. We need to uproot it and get rid of it!
    I’m a new reader here and I’m delighted but what I’ve found in this blog so far!

    Reply
  • Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries March 22, 2010, 11:22 am

    I think this is one of the best posts I’ve read in months. I think the majority of women out there use guilt on themselves and I am currently trying really hard to break the cycle myself. I had a small setback when I woke up this morning and felt “fat” and then overanalzed my every bite over the weekend. How ludicrous! So, thank you for the reminder that each one of us should be celebrated and we should never, ever feel guilty about eating. Guilt is a useless emotion.

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 12:20 pm

      thank you so much and i love your thoughts.

      Reply
  • Jenny March 22, 2010, 11:23 am

    Great post!! And I agree with all 4 of your points. Number 4 especially, because I can definitely attest to what you are saying about it being “OK to have irrational thoughts”, but it is NOT OK to let them “take over your life”. Do I still have ED thoughts? Yes. Do I still think unhealthy things when I get stressed sometimes? Yes. The difference now is that I know I can handle them and I know HOW to handle them in a healthy manner. I don’t allow negativity and perfectionist tendencies to control my life. Thanks for the thought-provoking post this morning!

    Reply
  • Bronwyn March 22, 2010, 11:46 am

    Considering I feel guilty any time I skip a workout, or any time I stay inside on a sunny day… yeah I think the gruve would make me feel guilty.

    Guilt is a drug, it’s totally commercialized and a way to make us feel horrible about ourselves so we’ll go out and buy stuff… Or give into the idea (set out by society, media, etc) that there is “perfection” and one day we can “acheive it” if we only “work hard enough”.

    Reply
  • Caroline March 22, 2010, 11:48 am

    thank you for the words of wisdom. i will try to keep that in mind and realize that it’s okay to be me and not some ideal perfect person.

    Reply
  • Jen March 22, 2010, 11:54 am

    Well said. Excellent post and thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
  • Erica March 22, 2010, 11:56 am

    Thank you for this post. You have perfectly captured something that I have only recently come to terms with. Shortly after college I started to do calorie counting, even though I had only gained 3-5 pounds during my senior year. After 5 years of measuring and counting everything I ate, I decided to give it up as my New Year’s resolution. I was sick of feeling guilty if I happened to eat 50 calories more than what I alloted for that day, or the compulsion to head to my computer and log my dinner.

    For the past 3 months I have been trying to break my habit of calorie counting. It is difficult! I still know the caloric content of everything I eat and do a mental tally throughout the day, but at least I’m no longer logging the food or limiting myself to a certain number of calories. I also no longer carry around a lot of guilt about enjoying food and eating when I’m hungry.

    Thank you for this perspective. I started reading your blog in December and I have valued your insight so much as I’ve been trying to change the way I think about my body image and food and fitness. Keep it up :)

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 12:21 pm

      thank you!

      stopping calorie counting is hard. it was weird for me so i did it gradually, by stopping counting to just ballparking to stopping even thinking about it.

      Reply
  • Erica March 22, 2010, 12:01 pm

    Can you give examples of positive healthy talk that can get you out of a guilty mindset?

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 12:23 pm

      sure!

      this weekend, i ate pretty healthy but on saturday night, we went out and partied. AKA drank a lot alcohol and ate late night pizza. i woke up bloated and hungover and immediately felt guilty. my first instinct was to feel bad and punish myself. but instead, i thought “last night was so much fun. life is for living. i am healthy 90% of the time, and in the grand scheme, one night out does not impact my weight or health in any meaningful way.” and then i thought how i could eat certain foods and drink certain things (oatmeal, water) that would make my body feel better immediately.

      Reply
  • liane March 22, 2010, 12:02 pm

    Wow, this post was so timely!
    I’m such a Type-A, and when things don’t quite go according to plan, I tend to beat myself up about it, which ultimately doesn’t help the situation at all! Lately I’ve been finding that I am tending to feel guilty about food and exercise– ie. I will run 3miles, not the 5 I had scheduled because I’m super busy right now with moving, and I fail to realize that I RAN 3 MILES!! (hello, I could have stayed home but I didn’t!)
    I need to work on the positive and stop beating myself up so much!

    Also, the buzzing of the Gruve would drive me around the bend!

    Reply
  • Mastering Public Health March 22, 2010, 12:15 pm

    That thing would probably drive me crazy. For some reason it reminds me of a hamster spinning in a wheel. I can see if maybe it told you at the end of the day what your status was, but for it to beep and buzz throughout the day would be very distracting to whatever task in which I was in the middle at that moment, as well as guilt-inducing. I also think it would inspire self-deprecation and dreaded “fat talk.” Also, if one has a sedentary job or must work in a way that requires sitting/being still, they may become discouraged and give up, believing that their occupation of choice just doesn’t “allow” them to ever be healthy or fit, which is simply not true!

    Reply
  • Lee March 22, 2010, 12:26 pm

    I wonder if anyone (besides me) feels like using a Garmin to track pace makes you obsessive. I know that when I use mine, I’m constantly checking my pace, making sure that I’m going what I deem to be “fast enough.” Your comments on the Gruve reminded me of this and I just wondered if anyone else does it.

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 12:27 pm

      yessssssssssssssssss definitely. that’s why i sometimes don’t wear it and refuse to stare at my pace while i run. running should just be for fun!

      Reply
  • Samantha March 22, 2010, 12:36 pm

    great, great, great post!

    Reply
  • Jessica March 22, 2010, 12:40 pm

    What great ideas, thank you for this post!

    Reply
  • Katie @ Health for the Whole Self March 22, 2010, 12:41 pm

    I’m so so glad you brought up the whole idea of commercialization. We as women need to remember that companies don’t want us to feel good about ourselves because if we’re confident, we won’t need their products to make us “better.” Basically, they make money off of our self-criticism and desire for perfection.

    I purposefully did not wear the Gruve at the conference because I know myself – I have a history of getting overly obsessed with burning calories and other food/weight numbers. I’ve found that I can maintain a healthy weight (and a much healthier mindset!) when I stay away from that sort of thing. But doing so certainly requires some discipline, since those kinds of products are EVERYWHERE these days.

    Reply
  • kalli@fitandfortysomething March 22, 2010, 12:42 pm

    geat post…..i used to beat myself up with guilt when i ate something i should not have or drank too much etc…..now i try to be healthier about my feelings to myself. i think the gruve thing would make me crazy :)

    Reply
  • Cara March 22, 2010, 12:52 pm

    I did NOT like Gruve. At the end of the day, if that little guy isn’t “green” I’d feel bad about myself. Being badgered by a little vibrating clip-on is not my idea of helpful!

    Reply
  • Mama Pea March 22, 2010, 12:57 pm

    I wrote a post on guilt on Friday:

    http://peasandthankyou.com/?p=958

    The feedback was amazing. So many of us are tied up in guilt that it is hindering the enjoyment of our life. I refuse to buy/wear a Garmin, own a scale or use any other instrument to try to measure my worth or make me feel guilty.

    Thank you for posting about this!

    Reply
  • Melissa March 22, 2010, 12:58 pm

    ugh. You have no idea how much I needed this this morning! I just spent the morning in department store dressing rooms with my 2 year old poking my pudge declaring that he could see my butt, however it was just my other jiggly parts, and just all around frustrating & a tad depressing. Thanks for the pick me up though. :)

    Reply
  • Alyssa March 22, 2010, 1:03 pm

    I love this post! I think guilt plays a huge role in the commercialization of the diet industry (although it is by no means the only factor). A lot of the commercials on TV (such as those for “diet”/weight loss food) make you feel guilty for something you are doing/not doing or for how you look. Like that Special K commercial that came out after the holidays of a NORMAL-looking woman who could not get out of her kid chair because her butt was stuck.

    For me, guilt is largely connected to body image, such as not liking the way I look and then feeling guilty about what I am eating (thinking that what I’m eating is making me gain weight, which results in my bad body image). Guilt is a HUGE part of my eating disorder, and is for a lot of others with eds as well. A lot of people with eating disorders also are perfectionists, which makes dealing/managing guilt ten times as tough. You feel guilty for how you look/what you eat, and then you feel guilty for not being “perfect” both in controlling what you eat and how you look. It’s a vicious cycle.

    I love your suggestions!

    Reply
  • Heather March 22, 2010, 1:19 pm

    THIS BLOG IS PERFECTION. so true and so well thought out. Thank you, Caitlin.

    Since the start of 2010 I’ve felt myself bogged down with Guilt for a variety of reasons. I don’t think I ever identified it as guilt, but in hindsight, of course, it’s clear.

    When i was not feeling guilty about one thing, it was another. and when I finally “caught up” on that, something else was being neglected and I started feeling guilty about that.

    The funny thing is, over the last 12 months, so much has changed in my life. I think perhaps the guilty feelings came in because I was trying to “be in control” of the what I could when the rest of my plans, started to fall by the wayside.

    A lot of my guilt takes place in the gym. I’m quite certain we’ve discussed this before, but I foudn myself feeling liek I NEVER was working out enough. I realized it was a problem when after spending 20 minutes on the elliptical, 60 minutes in a Zumba class, running intervals for half an hour, and liftin arms I still didnt feel any sense of accomplishment. And THAT is a problem. [thankfully, i have sense realized there is no reason for me to spend 2.5-3 hours at the gym several times a week. Not for my lifestyle.]

    Something that helped me ENDLESSLY (and still does on occasion] is this: When i was discussing my issue with Caitlin of thetwentyfifthyear, she reminded me that I’m not on the Biggest Loser, or trying to go for the gold in the next olympics. “THERE IS NO MONEY AT STAKE.”

    It may sound silly, but the realization that I had been beatting myself up over not reaching unrealistic goals [which I stilly can not define what these goals were- WHEN would I reach satisfacation after a workout? I have NO idea what my plan was] when there was NO competition to be had, was like a light switch for me. I changed my mindset to do LESS every day, but still ENOUGH to be healthy. Somehow along the way I had forgotten that I was making healthy decisions for MYSELF; my healthy, my sanity, my future.

    and there I go. writing my own wordy post in your comments section. ha. would you expect anything less, really?

    Reply
  • kate March 22, 2010, 1:22 pm

    Bit late to the party (silly time zone!) but I wanted to say guilt pays a big part in how I feel and how I react to food. Being overweight, I feel guilty for every little thing–not working out (or not working out enough), not eating healthy, eating “bad” foods, not being able to fit in a certain size, eating when I’m hungry, binging because I wasn’t hungry so I shoudln’t have been eating. Lots of guilt, every day. For a very long time.

    Which is why I quit my diet. I felt like I was only a good person if I followed the diet to the letter. One little slip up and everything would spiral out of control. I was too hard on myself. Scratch that, I was always too hard on myself. I need to love myself now, and treat myself well so I can recover and reach my health goals. (Even if that means I don’t get to be a super small size. I would probably look unhealthy if I was super skinny.)

    Reply
  • Danni March 22, 2010, 1:25 pm

    im really surprised to hear that you have felt guilt for blowing off a workout! do you mean this pre-blog or during-blog? did you feel it during marathon training ever? it’s weird because i think to a lot of readers (including myself) it seems like you dont experience exercise guilt, and if you miss a workout then you don’t feel bad. maybe i missed it, but have you ever discussed it on the blog when it’s happened?

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 1:29 pm

      yes i’ve talked about guilt before. i put out so many freaking posts that i know its easy for that stuff to get lost, so i’m glad i addressed it here again. in general, i have experienced exercise guilt while blogging but its very few and far between. :) most of my guilty feeling stems from drinking too much and getting hangovers LOL

      Reply
  • Kristin (Cook, Bake and Nibble) March 22, 2010, 1:25 pm

    I agree 100% that guilt is a drug. It took me a long time to not associate not exercising, and eating a little extra every once in a while, with extreme guilt. EVERYTHING resulted in guilt when I was going through disordered eating, and I think even though I am over that, to this day the Gruve would make me guilty for sure. I think part of being healthy is learning how to intuitively know if you need to move more. That is how you reach a good, healthful state of balance.

    xo
    K

    Reply
  • Therese March 22, 2010, 1:32 pm

    Oh man! I used to be QUEEN of guilty feelings which I realized recently means I’m more of a perfectionist than I ever gave myself credit for (I always just thought I was lazy – a sign of perfectionism? Most likely.). I was NEVER good enough for myself and although I’ve changed quite a bit, it sometimes creeps back up. Last time was when I skipped a run for no good reason and I beat myself up for it for a day. Then I realized what I was doing to myself and reflected. I NEEDED that night off, I work full time, go to school part time, train for races, have a boyfriend and friends and family obligations and rarely have time to myself and I was feeling greatly run down. I needed time to just chill. I think when we start feeling guilty about something it’s a good time to stop and figure out what exactly it is we’re feeling guilty about. Once I realized that my body and mind needed to just sit on my butt and stare at a TV for an hour or so, my guilt lifted. I was being kind to myself and that started an adjustment. I now take EVERY Thursday night to just chill (after spin class…).

    Love this blog!

    Reply
  • Laurie March 22, 2010, 1:39 pm

    Excellent post! I really appreciate the advice and attention given to a very important topic. And, I would not wear that device. There’s a natural balance that your body can find without the constant buzzing or beeping of some machine.

    Reply
  • Hedda March 22, 2010, 2:11 pm

    This was a very interesting post, one that I could very much identify with.
    In my opinion the modern society is obsessed with guilt, and as you say : guilt sells. There has been created an ideal of what a person should look like, and how he/she should behave.
    People strive for this ideal, forgetting that we are all unique, and in reality there is no such thing as a standard for perfection. The consequence of this social constructed ideal is guilt, because we can never be an ideal. We are real people = not a theoretic ideal.
    In Norway the fitness centre try to play on the feelings of guilt, showing people with a bit of belly in their commercial- and say things like ” Perhaps it is time to get out of that couch”. Of course, there is nothing wrong with working out and be active, but it should not be because of guilt. We should make choices based on what makes us feel good and happy, not because we feel guilty and therefore think we must do something.
    For over three years I strived for an ideal. An ideal which was unhealthy thin. Who did not have time to meet friends or family, because she had to look after her weight. She had to exercise several times a day, and eat so healthy that she had to avoid any type of social settings because there they did not serve “perfect food”.
    To strive for perfection is a waste. Life should be about living, making decisions for your own part, not because you feel guilty because you are “not good enough”.

    Reply
  • Alyson @ Nourished Fitness March 22, 2010, 2:17 pm

    Oh what a great post. I’m a major guilt-aholic. I totally agree with you that it can be a bad thing, but I think sometimes we do feel guilty for a good reason and it can be beneficial. So perhaps it’s about knowing yourself and knowing what truly is & is not worthy of such feelings.

    Reply
  • kat March 22, 2010, 2:30 pm

    Great, great post! Thanks!

    Reply
  • Annie@stronghealthyfit March 22, 2010, 3:43 pm

    That Gruve thing doesn’t sound like it would be helpful at all… kind of gimmick-y. I let go of my guilt about food and it was the best thing I ever did! I don’t let myself feel guilty about anything I eat anymore, although I still have the tendency to do so. It’s just not worth my time! I’m still holding onto some control as far as exercise though. I feel guilty if I don’t workout at least 5 days a week. I’m workin’ on that one. :-)
    Thanks for this post!

    Reply
  • Vaala March 22, 2010, 4:04 pm

    I think that device sounds a little crazy and obsessive…would definitely make me feel guilty which is ridiculous because I am extremely active! I mean, I feel guilty enough on a rest day as it is without something beeping at me to reinforce that guilt…and this is a time I definitely shouldn’t feel guilty.

    I tend to feel guilty about things I’ve done (or not done) or thought in relation to other people and that guilt eats me up. Not good.

    Reply
  • Katharine March 22, 2010, 5:08 pm

    Awesome post, Caitlin! Very thought-provoking. (And the Gruve is driving me nuts, too!)

    Reply
  • Katie Davis @ Pop Culture Cuisine March 22, 2010, 6:01 pm

    Great post! I have struggled with perfectionism as long as I can remember, and am far from perfect :) I recently discovered my dad is the same way, it is so funny how we realized things about our parents and see ourselves in them as we get older. This has all started to click for me recently and although I am not 100% there, I think just being mindful of those thoughts is a huge step!

    Reply
  • Lindsey March 22, 2010, 6:01 pm

    WOW. What a post. And what wonderful comments too. Holy cow!

    Thank you SO much for sharing your thoughts. It’s moving, how far you’ve come, you’re a total inspiration!!!! (late night pizza and everything!!!) :) :) :)

    Reply
  • Jen March 22, 2010, 8:42 pm

    I would hate that device! I used to feel so guilty everytime i missed a workout, ate badly, etc. But, then I started eating healthier and training for marathons, and i realized that i needed to eat healthy in order to perform well in my running. My running is important to me. I feel free and like myself when I run, and I love it. Sure, there are days that I feel guilty when I miss a workout, but I just remind myself that rest days are JUST as important as running days – your body needs recovery! And, I now realize that I am not going to gain 5 pounds from eating a piece of cake :). I think that Gruve is a bad idea!!

    Reply
  • Lisa @ Early Morning Run March 22, 2010, 8:57 pm

    Perfect timing with this post. I’ve been pretty overloaded with guilt lately and am trying to fight it. It can certainly be a difficult battle, but one I’m determined to win.

    Reply
  • Maria March 22, 2010, 9:02 pm

    “gym want to make you feel fat so you pay for a membership”

    Do you realize what you wrote? You’re buying into fat-phobia in your own “advocacy” with this, by implying that “fat” is a physical shape/size that necessarily carries negative connotations. Far from it. Your blog has a large audience of impressionable women. Be more responsible in how you reach out to them.

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 9:15 pm

      poor word choice on my part, i’m editing. thanks for pointing this out to me, i entirely agree with you.

      Reply
  • Caroline March 22, 2010, 9:45 pm

    Caitlin,

    Thanks for this post. Posts like this are the reason I keep coming back to your blog day after day. Love that you are so positive and inspirational! I deal with a lot of perfectionism and guilt like you described, and this spoke volumes to me. Guilt just gets in the way of LIVING LIFE and having fun! Anyway- thanks again for your blog- you’re such a great role model. I wish society would take some hints from you :)

    Reply
  • John March 22, 2010, 10:30 pm

    I’ve never tried to or even thought of being perfect at anything in my life. I have had guilt rule my life for awhile and it took a long time to get over it and back to a healthy eating and living place.

    I just happened to read comment #11 and your response and I agree blogs can work both ways. However I found following people like yourself helped get me over the hump working towards a healthier me. For last 5 months of 2009 I really wanted to lose weight and get healthy but couldn’t get through a day eating healthy. I found though that finding some blogs like you with a great atitude and approach to health and life really helped me turn my head around.

    Don’t think I ever said that to you yet but I have mentioned it to some of the other bloggers I started following last year. So a much belated thank you Caitlin for your blog and all you do.

    Thank you!

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 22, 2010, 10:32 pm

      thank you so much john!!!

      Reply
  • Kait March 22, 2010, 11:50 pm

    Caitlin, thank you so much for writing this post. I constantly find myself feeling guilty for the things I do…eating too much, eating too little, exercising too much, not exercising. It can be exhausting and its ridiculous. I know a product like that would definitely add to this guilt. I am definitely going to take your steps to breaking the guilt addiction to heart and try to feel better in every situation. Thank you again!

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 23, 2010, 7:08 am

      i do believe the key is being proactive so good for you! you can break the addiction. :)

      Reply
  • sirenjess March 23, 2010, 7:20 am

    Thank you for writing this post. I don’t know but this is what I needed to hear. I’m going through a rough patch right now and I beat myself up for not being perfect. Guilt is something that I deal with on a daily basis. I feel guilty for not running yesterday and for not pushing myself even though I was mentally not okay to run. So last night I spent a good portion calling myself fat and staring in the mirror planning my next three days of workout. I had to stop myself because all I kept thinking was I need to kick my ass these three days to make up for one day of not running. I hate that I do this, but I feel like I can’t stop. I’ve been trying to get better but it’s so hard. Thank you again for your post. That thing would drive a person like me crazy!!!

    Reply
  • Bella (Stilettos on the Streetcar) March 23, 2010, 9:24 am

    I couldn’t get this topic off my mind. I had to write about it too. Talk about hitting a nerve. :)

    http://www.stilettosonthestreetcar.blogspot.com

    Reply
  • Beth @ DiningAndDishing March 23, 2010, 12:33 pm

    I had similar thoughts about those Gruves so I’m glad to hear I’m not alone! I work a desk job and so I do have to sit for long periods of time. I try to get up often and walk around, I walk during my lunch break and I work-out so I feel like I’m doing the best I can to get moving. The last thing I need during a stressful work day is something vibrating and telling me to move! I see the idea behind it and yes maybe for someone starting to loose weight it is a good idea but I’m not sure those are something I am a big fan of.

    Reply
  • Ashley @ Good Taste. Healthy Me March 23, 2010, 12:51 pm

    I hate feeling guilty when I don’t work out. I try to tell myself not to but chances are I do.

    Reply
  • Emily March 23, 2010, 3:43 pm

    Caitlin- I went to Publix to pick up the ingredients for the oatmeal, but they didn’t have canned pumpkin! Where is a good place to get that?
    Oh, and I keep a notebook by my bed, too =)

    Reply
    • Caitlin March 23, 2010, 3:44 pm

      FL grocery stores really dont carry pumpkin during non-winter months (i stocked up) but sometimes you can find it at whole foods?

      Reply
  • loreejo May 20, 2010, 12:20 pm

    hi caitlin, been reading your blog about a year now. i thought i’d let you know that i thought this was a great post the first time i read it and have since thought about it and today i did a search to find it to read again. very thoughtful post…and still making me think. :)

    Reply
    • Caitlin May 20, 2010, 12:30 pm

      thank you :) i’m glad it resonated with you.

      Reply

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