Remember That Vampire Post?

in All Posts

Not this vampire, unfortunately:

I’m talking about the post I wrote about Negative Noise and Energy Vampires.  Negative Noise are small actions that distract you, stop you from being productive, and threaten to ruin your day.  Most urgently, negative noise threatens to overwhelm all the positive encouragement in your life.  Energy Vampires are people who suck away your positive energy and leave you feeling emotionally exhausted.


I’m including a section on dealing with Energy Vamps in the Operation Beautiful book, and I’m looking for some great quotes about:


  • Specific examples of Energy Vampires in your life (co-workers, parents, siblings, friends, teachers, bosses, etc.  Come on, I know a lot of you have a blood-thirsty boss!).
  • How you’ve dealt with the soul-suckers.
  • How you tune out Negative Noise.


Got a story to share?  Spill in the comments section or e-mail me at



  • Jessica @ How Sweet It Is November 4, 2009, 6:21 pm

    Great idea.

  • alyssa November 4, 2009, 6:21 pm

    does it count if you are your own energy vampire sometimes? 🙁

    • caitlin November 4, 2009, 6:23 pm

      share that story, too!

      • alyssa November 4, 2009, 6:31 pm

        i think i speak for a lot of people when i say that eating disorders are energy vampires in full force. for me personally, it was like there was always a little voice in the back of your mind; it came out whenever i started making progress, facing my fears, taking charge, and actually LIVING. it would fill my mind with negative noises – screaming “you aren’t good enough”, “you’re not worth it”, “you’re never going to succeed” – and i felt i had no choice but to listen, you know? i hate to say it, but it pushed me down many times. there were times that it literally sucked everything out of me and all i could do is lay in bed and cry. it forced me to miss class, ditch my friends, sleep through holidays… things that ultimately ended up making me feel worse than when i started.

        my “energy vampire” is mostly gone now, but he still haunts me every once in a while. i’ve learned to tune him out; once someone lies to you 100 times, it’s kind of hard to believe them that 101st time. i’ve learned to trust my family, my friends and my own instincts above that little nagging voice in the back of my mind. i know that i’m enough and i know that i do the best that i can with what i’ve been given, so i’m learning to accept that. 🙂

  • Jessica November 4, 2009, 6:23 pm

    I do,
    I have finally put the vampires to silence. I am happy with me, I am thankful for what I can do and what I am doing with life. In May I will have my Masters and that I am proud of…I work full time, school full time, and church full time. I am me.
    Growing up my mom and grandmother always called me fat, always used fat talk and always always put me down. I have lived with that in my head for years now, and I AM FINALLY putting it to rest.
    I made a deal with myself that I will not let what others say tear me down anymore. I am who I am and I am happy with me.

    AND no vampire is going to stand in my way…
    unless…its edward

  • Jessica November 4, 2009, 6:23 pm

    and then he can stand there all day

  • Jolene ( November 4, 2009, 6:33 pm

    I am surrounded by a lot of negativity in my day, and I have to repeat something positive for every negative thing that a person says so that I don’t feel drained by all the negative energy. I think that people who are unhappy and are going to complain at work etc. should quit and find something more suited to them.

  • C. November 4, 2009, 6:39 pm

    i work with a TON of energy vamps..i complain all day about them to my friends via text/facebook/twitter and found they would even ruin my mood for a good few hours once I got home from work.
    my roomie and friend didn’t want to be around me, it was terrible..
    i haven’t figured out how to not let them get to me while at work, but i started to smile my entire drive home (only about 6 miles or 10 minutes) and think positive thoughs.. dream about the future… i may look like a crazy lady, but it puts me in a great (sometimes even silly) mood and changes my outlook on the whole day.

    if that doesn’t work- a glass of wine, bad tv, and good food always does!!

  • Anne P November 4, 2009, 6:51 pm

    I had a major enery vampire for a boss a couple years ago when I was working in PR. Our entire team was terrified of her and it created such a tense work environment, especially because sometimes she’d be nice, but you never knew what you’d get when you talked to her. One day while I was at work, I started feeling my vision start to blur. Concerned, I snuck out to CVS to get some eye drops. It didn’t improve the situation, and was followed by a splitting headache. I realized I was having my first (and only, so far) migraine. It was so painful, especially with the bright flourescent lights and computer screen, and I couldn’t concentrate or do anything. Finally, I mustered the courage to go into my boss’s office and ask her if I could leave early (it was about noon) because I was having a migraine. She looked at me icily, and said “Um… I don’t THINK so. You leave every day at 6 p.m.” (the end of the work day! after finishing all my work!) “and we’re here til 8 or later. I think. You’d better. STAY.” She hated me because I wasn’t as scared of her as everyone else was, and would actually leave work at time so I could have some sort of life unlike the poor other girls on my team. When she told me that, I didn’t even know what to say, so I just turned on my heel, went to the bathroom, and cried. It was horrible. I had no idea why someone could be so cold and cruel. Eventually, I realized that the only way to make things better was to not let her get to me so much. (And to search for a new job!) I told myself that there must be some reason she was so miserable, and that while it was wrong, she was obviously very unhappy and trying to make others that way too. That helped a little bit, and I was better able to deal with her later, but honestly, sometimes the only thing you can do about energy vampires is just to remove yourself from the situation. You CAN escape from their grasp. You have a choice who you let into your life and who you don’t. Whose energy you accept and whose you reject. Eventually, I got the courage to leave the job. I had a wonderful boss at my next one 🙂

    • Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat) November 4, 2009, 7:16 pm

      UGH Anne P that is terrible! I had a similar situation and it was unbearable. People can be so inconsiderate.

  • Lindsey @ Sound Eats November 4, 2009, 7:09 pm

    At my previous job I was an event coordinator for a nonprofit organization. As part of my job I had to work with organizing volunteers for the annual gala. These volunteers were the epitome of energy vampires. They were all “well to do” women of the area, board members, mothers of children involved in the organization and were all very opinionated. No one wanted to deal with them. All of their conflicting opinions of who and what was right was a huge source of energy depletion for those meetings. It all culminated at the gala when one of the volunteers tried to take over my job. I had spent weeks detailing the organization of the room, stage, silent auction area, live auction area and more. One woman who “had experience in retail” decided she knew better and completely started reorganizing the silent auction a couple hours before the even started. I ended up having to just walk away, step outside for a breath of fresh air, come back in and work in another area. It wasn’t worth it and she wasn’t worth the stress. By composing myself and allowing subtle changes to my “master plan” I was able to work more efficiently else where without distraction. 🙂

    P.S. That’s only a former job because I moved. 🙂

  • Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat) November 4, 2009, 7:14 pm

    I recently stopped working at my current job. I was incredibly depressed for a few days until I started to think about what a toxic environment I was in. I constantly felt pressured to please people and in the end started living my life for others instead of living my life for me. Now, I’m actually looking for a job that fits my personality. I don’t ever want to work for a vampire again.
    What has helped me get past it is realizing that I could make the choice to get away from that environment. I had to remind myself not to let negative people get to me. In the end, leaving is what ultimately led to my happiness.

  • Mama Pea November 4, 2009, 7:15 pm

    We only become victims of those vampires if we let ourselves. I give myself a stern talking to all the time about how I can sit and cry about the fact that I don’t have the _______ (mother, inlaws, siblings, friends, etc.) that I would have in a perfect world, the kind that respond with positive feedback, love and support OR I can put that aside, accept that it is their problem and focus my efforts on being the best mother, wife, friend, person that I can be, so that ultimately I don’t become an energy vampire myself.

  • Evan Thomas November 4, 2009, 7:16 pm

    Great topic. I think I need to target the energy vampires in my life. I know they’re out there and it affects me but I can’t always distinguish who’s on or who’s just really there to help

  • Estela @ Weekly Bite November 4, 2009, 8:01 pm

    Ahhhh the energy vampires! They exist everywhere! Sometimes I even see myself heading in that direction! Recognizing it is key! Then addressing the issue and fixing problem!

    Great idea Caitlin!

  • Kristy November 4, 2009, 8:10 pm

    There are certainly energy vampires that you come across all throughout the day. It can be that annoying driver that is cutting everyone off or texting while driving and just about hits you and all of a sudden you feel angry and drained of any positive energy you had to start your day. Or at your job, that one employee who never seems to smile. There are a lot of those where I work!! It can be challenging not to get sucked (no pun intended) into their world and always be such a downer. One of my co-workers says, is it time to go yet, or I don’t want to be here, or something along those lines, every time I see her during the day! How depressing!! Yes work can suck sometimes, but it could be a lot worse!
    I think that you can be your own energy vampire too. I personally am having one of those days where I just have a negative view of myself. A “I feel fat” day. It really sucks the life out of you and I noticed I was even arguing with the hubby for no reason. And I know it was because of that “vampire” inside. I had to think about how I am eating healthy and exercising and realize that I am beautiful. I like to repeat personal quotes, even ones I have read on blogs, or think about other times I have overcome negative thoughts to encourage myself to tune out that negative noise. Journaling helps or just finding something to take your mind off of what is happening.. like take a walk, or play with your animals! Energy vampires will be at every turn in life but we can overcome them… it may just take time.
    I just wish I could find one that looked like Edward 😉

  • Meg November 4, 2009, 8:14 pm

    I’m dealing with a lot of energy vampires right now in the form of new coworkers. I’ve recently moved to a new city, far, far away from home and am having to acclimate to a new culture. My female coworkers often times refer to me as fat (which I know I am not!) or make other comments about my appearance like my (very natural) hair color amongst other things. At first, it was very, very hard to hear someone else saying those things to me and I would go home in tears believing that I was really fat or maybe my freckles weren’t very attractive. I would concentrate on those things for weeks and all it was doing was bringing me down.

    But, I realized I was just doing exactly what they wanted me to be doing. Thinking badly about myself when I know those things aren’t true. So, instead of thinking omg! I’m fat and ugly because so-and-so said so, I think I’m strong and confident because I’m not letting what so-and-so said bring me down. I refuse to stoop to their level. So, instead if they say something to me, I’ll surprise them and compliment them. Maybe they think I’m giving them all the power, but instead of leaving work in tears now, I leave with my head held high because I know I’m stronger. I’m the one with the power now.

  • Angi November 4, 2009, 9:12 pm

    My mother is an energy vampire. She’s like a little black hole, sucking all that negative space into her. She basically used a lot of fat talk (Asian culture has very exacting standards for beauty for women – wafer thin, no curves at all, and no muscles.) and a lot of negative talk about other things to bring me down.

    I used to have a eating disorder – binge eating is never a good thing. I hoarded and hid food (pizza boxes, chip wrappers). Basically I ate a lot of junk to try to cover up that emotional hole. I now lift weights and exercise (not running, but some mixture of boxing and tai chi) to get rid of negative energy/thoughts around me. It focuses my mind and blanks out all that craziness. It’s hard being in residence for school, and I try to help with Operation Beautiful from time to time.

  • Gina G November 4, 2009, 9:15 pm

    actually Alyssa read my mind when she said that she was her own energy vampire. hah I have had kinda a hard history when it comes to my friends. Instead of dealing with it the proper way and saying to myself don’t let them break you down or let their choices bother you (ive had to change friends multiple times for various reasons), i made myself feel as everything is always my fault. I have built barriors around myself and allowed my past make me feel pretty much worthless, therefore hurting my family. My family is my biggest blessing who never stopped believing in me and to this day still does not. I could not ever be more grateful. even though it still sometimes a work in progress, i am not giving up, we have to create are own happiness not let others determine it. thanks caitlin!

  • Molly @vegandorm November 4, 2009, 9:21 pm

    wow, alyssa. i totally feel you on your post.
    how much time i wasted miserable in all aspects of my life because of an eating disorder…
    The good news is that you can get it back. 8 months into recovery, my little sister told me that I had become a much nicer person than I was a year ago. That’s the important stuff.

  • Madeline @ GreensAndJeans November 4, 2009, 9:43 pm

    I was definitely my own energy vamp when I was in college. I grew up wanting to be a doctor and was a human biology major in college, fulfilling my premed requirements. My sophomore and junior years I was a little ball of stress. I couldn’t sleep, I was studying all of the time, and basically freaking out thinking of the fact that I was going to be in school, most likely stressing out like this, for YEARS. One day I woke up, walked into the kitchen to make some tea, and had a revelation- I didn’t have to go to medical school. No one was pushing me into this except myself. I could still go on and do amazing things with my life that didn’t involve preforming surgery or working in a hospital. As soon as I realized I COULD make this choice I was a new person. I could sleep again, my stress levels dropped, and my friends all told me I was a better person because of it!

  • Michele November 4, 2009, 10:11 pm

    At first, this sounds seriously silly — but I swear it works or at least helps a lot. Whenever I’m in a situation when someone – could be anyone – is spewing negativity either at me or around me, I sort of pretend I have on a yellow rain coat. I think of their words and negativity like rain hitting the yellow rain slicker — the waterproof coat doesn’t let it inside to get me wet — the negativity flows away, leaving me grounded in peace and pleasantness.

  • Bronwyn November 5, 2009, 1:02 am

    I definitely have an energy vampire in my life. It’s a really tough situation because she’s been a part of my life for a long long time (try since I was like, two…) so I don’t know what to do. She tends to just suck the energy out of you though. She’s a very negative person. Jealous and envious of everyone. If you win it’s painful because she can’t just let you have your success (even if she’s not in the race) and if she wins, you never hear the end of it! Ugh.
    And it’s really hard on our mutual (and my best!) friend back home, because she just takes advantage and is a little bit nasty. It’s tough. But it’s one of those friendship that leaves me more drained after hanging out then I was before we hung out… Sadly.

  • Madelin @ What is for breakfast? November 5, 2009, 7:29 am

    Great post Caitlin – I instantly knew what you were talking about. I’ve had many energy vampires in my working life but the biggest energy vampire currently is my mum and it’s driving me nuts :(. All these comments have helped a lot though and I think I may have to start usuing the yellow raincoat visualisation!

  • Kristy November 5, 2009, 10:32 am

    I found this quote a while back and it truly has helped me stay focused – “A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth it”.

  • kilax November 5, 2009, 1:05 pm

    My supervisor is. She holds on to one mistake you make, rather than ever giving you praise for all of the things you do right! I just remember it’s “a small thing” and let it go. I’ve noticed her mood is so up and down, I think she is maybe bipolar. 🙁

  • ola November 5, 2009, 2:09 pm

    i tune out negative noise such as my parents fighting or gossiping in the school hallways by putting my ear buds in and listening to my favourite songs at full blast. you get lost in the music and forget about your surroundings.

  • Sarah @ See Sarah Eat November 6, 2009, 8:41 am

    I actually have a close friend that is a negative noise-maker in my life and I have found that the best way to deal with it when she is in one of her “moods” is to just ignore it. It will pass. If you respond or try to offer advice, it just fuels the fire. This has also saved me from experiencing a lot of unneeded stress. 🙂

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