At my previous job I was an event coordinator for a nonprofit organization. As part of my job I had to work with organizing volunteers for the annual gala. These volunteers were the epitome of energy vampires. They were all “well to do” women of the area, board members, mothers of children involved in the organization and were all very opinionated. No one wanted to deal with them. All of their conflicting opinions of who and what was right was a huge source of energy depletion for those meetings. It all culminated at the gala when one of the volunteers tried to take over my job. I had spent weeks detailing the organization of the room, stage, silent auction area, live auction area and more. One woman who “had experience in retail” decided she knew better and completely started reorganizing the silent auction a couple hours before the even started. I ended up having to just walk away, step outside for a breath of fresh air, come back in and work in another area. It wasn’t worth it and she wasn’t worth the stress. By composing myself and allowing subtle changes to my “master plan” I was able to work more efficiently else where without distraction. 🙂

P.S. That’s only a former job because I moved. 🙂

We only become victims of those vampires if we let ourselves. I give myself a stern talking to all the time about how I can sit and cry about the fact that I don’t have the _______ (mother, inlaws, siblings, friends, etc.) that I would have in a perfect world, the kind that respond with positive feedback, love and support OR I can put that aside, accept that it is their problem and focus my efforts on being the best mother, wife, friend, person that I can be, so that ultimately I don’t become an energy vampire myself.

Ahhhh the energy vampires! They exist everywhere! Sometimes I even see myself heading in that direction! Recognizing it is key! Then addressing the issue and fixing problem!

Great idea Caitlin!

I’m dealing with a lot of energy vampires right now in the form of new coworkers. I’ve recently moved to a new city, far, far away from home and am having to acclimate to a new culture. My female coworkers often times refer to me as fat (which I know I am not!) or make other comments about my appearance like my (very natural) hair color amongst other things. At first, it was very, very hard to hear someone else saying those things to me and I would go home in tears believing that I was really fat or maybe my freckles weren’t very attractive. I would concentrate on those things for weeks and all it was doing was bringing me down.

But, I realized I was just doing exactly what they wanted me to be doing. Thinking badly about myself when I know those things aren’t true. So, instead of thinking omg! I’m fat and ugly because so-and-so said so, I think I’m strong and confident because I’m not letting what so-and-so said bring me down. I refuse to stoop to their level. So, instead if they say something to me, I’ll surprise them and compliment them. Maybe they think I’m giving them all the power, but instead of leaving work in tears now, I leave with my head held high because I know I’m stronger. I’m the one with the power now.

actually Alyssa read my mind when she said that she was her own energy vampire. hah I have had kinda a hard history when it comes to my friends. Instead of dealing with it the proper way and saying to myself don’t let them break you down or let their choices bother you (ive had to change friends multiple times for various reasons), i made myself feel as everything is always my fault. I have built barriors around myself and allowed my past make me feel pretty much worthless, therefore hurting my family. My family is my biggest blessing who never stopped believing in me and to this day still does not. I could not ever be more grateful. even though it still sometimes a work in progress, i am not giving up, we have to create are own happiness not let others determine it. thanks caitlin!

I was definitely my own energy vamp when I was in college. I grew up wanting to be a doctor and was a human biology major in college, fulfilling my premed requirements. My sophomore and junior years I was a little ball of stress. I couldn’t sleep, I was studying all of the time, and basically freaking out thinking of the fact that I was going to be in school, most likely stressing out like this, for YEARS. One day I woke up, walked into the kitchen to make some tea, and had a revelation- I didn’t have to go to medical school. No one was pushing me into this except myself. I could still go on and do amazing things with my life that didn’t involve preforming surgery or working in a hospital. As soon as I realized I COULD make this choice I was a new person. I could sleep again, my stress levels dropped, and my friends all told me I was a better person because of it!

I definitely have an energy vampire in my life. It’s a really tough situation because she’s been a part of my life for a long long time (try since I was like, two…) so I don’t know what to do. She tends to just suck the energy out of you though. She’s a very negative person. Jealous and envious of everyone. If you win it’s painful because she can’t just let you have your success (even if she’s not in the race) and if she wins, you never hear the end of it! Ugh.
And it’s really hard on our mutual (and my best!) friend back home, because she just takes advantage and is a little bit nasty. It’s tough. But it’s one of those friendship that leaves me more drained after hanging out then I was before we hung out… Sadly.

I found this quote a while back and it truly has helped me stay focused – “A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth it”.

i tune out negative noise such as my parents fighting or gossiping in the school hallways by putting my ear buds in and listening to my favourite songs at full blast. you get lost in the music and forget about your surroundings.