Today was a typical day in Caitlin-land…
Work was alright. I finished up my day shift and had two mid-afternoon snacks — random cereal:
In a tupperware bowl. 🙂
And a bowl of fruit (banana + nectarine).
I’ve noticed my ability to eat a "real dinner" is diminishing rapidly as I try to juggle my two jobs. This is the second day in a row I’ve relied on PB sammies to get me through! Eaten around 6 PM:
Part of the reason why I’m so obsessed with Amazing Grass is that I can get my vegetables in quickly and easily. This is one of the few products I’ve reviewed on the blog that I will actually go out and buy myself when my free stash is gone. It’s amazing!
I had a glass with Almond Breeze after my workout:
Mmmm…. sweaty + vegetables = happy Caitlin!
My workout tonight consists of a 2.0 mile walk, which I completed in 30 minutes. All I could think about on the first half of my walk was how I once WON a 5K race. It’s so easy to fall into the poor-me trap when you are injured. I try to balance my negative thinking with positive thoughts — like, "at least I can walk!" But truthfully, sometimes I just want to have a giant pity-party for myself.
One year again, I would’ve told you that I’d be training for my third or fourth half-marathon at this point, or even my first marathon. Tell God your plans, and he will laugh in your face. I never could of predicted that I would be faced with such a horrible, degenerative knee condition — but such is life.
While on my walk, I decided it would a good idea to ask "Why Me?" And I surprised myself when I came up with an answer. Anyone who knows me in the "real world" would tell you that my worst personality trait is my deep, deep impatience. I have trouble waiting for things; I want instant gratification; I want problems to be solved NOW. This aspect of my personality has cost me a lot of money, a few friends, and several other opportunities.
I think that this journey is God’s way of teaching me an important lesson. I need to have patience with my body; I need to listen to my doctor; and I need to have faith that my body can heal itself, no matter how long it takes.
Maybe my knees are trying to tell me something.
Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and chill out. The answer will come. I will heal. And maybe, just maybe, I will run that marathon next year.