5:45 AM

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And I was WIDE AWAKE.

 

Too….excited….to….sleep.  Maggie woke me up at 5:30 to pee on the rug (WHY??? WHY??? I’m starting to think she has a health issue), and I just couldn’t go back to sleep.

 

I stumbled to the kitchen and was eating breakfast by 6:15.

DSCN9985

A lovely, basic bowl of oatmeal….

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I made the oatmeal a little larger than usual because (1) I woke up starving and (2) I got started early, hence I’ll need more fuel!

 

My oatmeal contained:

 

  • 3/4 cup oatmeal
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1 sliced banana
  • Topping: granola

 

And a cup of coffee…

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Forecast for January 3, 2009

Partly Cloudy

  • Partly Cloudy
  • High: 74 degrees
  • Low: 51 degrees
  • 10% chance of rain

 

Passing Comments

 

Last night I was thinking some random comments people have made about my appearance/health that really stuck with me

 

I’ll never forget when my friend Lauren sat me down and told me I really either stop bitching about my weight or start eating healthily and exercising.  It was blunt, but that ‘intervention’ changed my life!

 

I’ll also never forget when Future Husband told me that my "rounded tummy" reminded him of a Greek goddess! I used to pinch and prod my tummy, and after that, I loved it!

 

On the other side of the coin, one of my biggest pet peeves is FAT TALK — you know, when women say, "Oh, I’m so fat!" or "My ass looks HUGE in these pants."  I find it so toxic to their and my self esteem.  Just as the listener, I can’t help but be affected and find myself wondering if my butt is too fat, too! 

 

What passing comments changed your mentality about your health, weight, or appearance?  Do you engage in Fat Talk?

{ 34 comments }

 

  • therunningaddict December 29, 2008, 5:06 am

    Oh sorry about the pee!! LOL
    I used to engage in FAT TALK all the time, now I just don’t care as much!

  • Caitlin (see bride run) December 29, 2008, 5:07 am

    runningaddict – i understand WHY women do it, and i used to do it too, but it just makes me so sad to hear.

  • Meghann December 29, 2008, 5:26 am

    I told you the weather forecast would keep changing! Its going to be beautiful on Saturday!

    Poor Maggie.. I think she knows you are going to leave her.

  • VeggieGirl December 29, 2008, 6:08 am

    How old is Maggie?? Not to be negative, but Kiwi (may she rest in peace) started doing that a LOT last year…. and it ended up being caused by her kidneys failing šŸ™

  • Caitlin (see bride run) December 29, 2008, 6:12 am

    liz – maggie is only 4. i dont think she has any health issues, i think she’s just being naughty!! lol

  • jenngirl December 29, 2008, 6:31 am

    Ah I’m so excited for youuu! 5 days?!? Fabulous.

    I totally agree about the FAT talk…I am pretty sensitive to it too. I will totally go off on someone if they start that kind of BS, especially if they are close to me. I don’t want anyone going down the same road I did, so I really try to POSITIVELY influence the body image of those around me.

    Have a great day! šŸ™‚

  • Kristina December 29, 2008, 6:46 am

    I find that is does affect me, but I try my hardest to block it out, otherwise I’ll be wondering if I too, look fat. šŸ™ It’s sad that women resort to thinking this way about themselves.

  • livelaughlyss December 29, 2008, 6:57 am

    my friends are all about the fat talk, though i’m pleased to say i never engage! the worst is when people start talking about “HOW FAT” they look, when all they are looking for is reassurance that they aren’t fat! i try not to take it personally, because i know it’s just their low self-esteem – which is sad! – but sometimes, it’s hard not to think twice about your own appearance.

    so happy for you and the wedding of your dreams! šŸ™‚

  • Amanda December 29, 2008, 7:18 am

    I think the only person who I fat talk to is my boyfriend and I’m pretty sure he is getting sick of it. Frankly, I am getting fed up for even feeling that way because I rationally know that I am not fat. It is just the remnants of my eating disorder creeping into my head. Any tips on how to push those thoughts away/maintain a positive and realistic body image?

  • Bridget December 29, 2008, 7:23 am

    I’m so excited for you! Your wedding will be beautiful and perfect regardless of the weather!

    I hate Fat Talk. I catch myself doing it sometimes, mostly to my husband, and I’m making a conscious effort to stop. I only have a few friends who do it. Do you have any good responses for when someone starts it??

  • Meghan December 29, 2008, 7:30 am

    “Fat talk” never ends well, ever! So I try to change the subject as quickly as possible, or just wait for the storm to pass.
    A little bit of cloudiness will make for gorgeous pictures at your wedding šŸ™‚

  • Caitlin (see bride run) December 29, 2008, 7:31 am

    hmmm amanda that is a very good question!

    i think what has stopped me from fat talk is observing my mother (sorry mom if you see this). to be honest, my mom is THE WORST FAT TALKER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. she non-stop engages in fat talk, and it is semi-ridiculous because (1) fat talk is never cool, even if you are actually overwight and (2) she’s NOT overweight at all!

    i think it was easiest to change my own behavior about fat talk when i observed it in my mom and other people and i really saw how it made them and the people around them feel. its hard to analyze your own behaviors but wayyy easier to pick on someone else. šŸ™‚

    when my mom would do it, i would think about how it made ME feel even though i wasn’t engaging in the talk. just seeing how fat talk affects others (like your boyfriend) makes it easier to stop than if you just ruminate on how it makes you feel — after all, as women i think we are accostumed to hearing ourselves talk fat.

    i also stopped by thinking seriously about how fat talk would affect my little cousins or my future daughters if they heard me fat talking.

    i think its good to consciously correct yourself (even outloud) when you do it. like if you find yourself saying to your boyfriend, “do i look fat in this?” immediately say “ugh i dont even know why i said that, i don’t think i’m fat at all! don’t i look fabulous? let’s go to dinner.” and LAUGH IT OFF.

    when you catch yourself thinking fat, do the same mental correction. if you’re observing yourself in the mirror and think “my tummy looks soft,” CONSCIOUSLY stop yourself and say “that’s ridiculous! plus, look how hot your [insert fav body part here] is” OR “who cares if i ate three cookies yesterday? i’m top of my class/just got a promotion/was nice to that random person the other day.”

    it’s hard work to verbally or mentally correct yourself, but after a while it becomes a habit!

    and think of what a good example you’ll be setting for your friends when you verbally correct your own fat talk!

  • Caitlin (see bride run) December 29, 2008, 7:32 am

    and amanda – watch this awesome youtube video on fat talk:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPaxD61lwo

  • Caitlin (see bride run) December 29, 2008, 7:35 am

    bridget –

    now, i think its different when other people are engaging in fat talk. you can’t correct them the same way you can correct yourself. when you correct your own fat talk, you are saying “fat talk is not ok, you are fab!” but when you do the same thing to someone else, it can come off as ENCOURAGING the fat talk (i.e. “i’m so fat”, “no you aren’t, youre so skinnyyyyy!”) with positive reinforcement.

    i’m going to use my mom again because she’s a really good example, unfortunately. šŸ™ when she fat talks, i say something like “mom, that is really ridiculous. you are beautiful and amazing on the inside. it’s amazing you didn’t give me an eating disorder talking like that.” AND THAT’S IT. i disengage the conversation.

    also, when they AREN’T talking fat, it might be a good idea to approach the topic “philosophically” and discuss how the behavior is bad for all women, not just the fat talkers. if you get fat talkers to discuss the topic without feeling personally attacked, its helpful!!

  • Amanda December 29, 2008, 7:41 am

    Caitlin… thanks for bringing this topic up and for adding such great comments! What you are saying is great and really showing me the downsides and negative impact fat talk has on myself and on those around me.

    ps you HAVE to post how you get your wraps looking so positvely PERFECT šŸ™‚

  • Meg December 29, 2008, 7:45 am

    I am with you…it makes me sad when girls engage in “fat talk”

  • Mica December 29, 2008, 7:47 am

    Ugh, I am really bad about fat talking all the time. One of my goals in 2009 is to be happy with my body and make it stronger and fitter (thereby stopping the impetus for fat talk).

    Yay for the wedding forecast. That’s awesome!

    Poor Maggie. I’m sure she feels bad that she piddled.

  • K December 29, 2008, 8:09 am

    Poor Maggie! Hope she’s alright!! At least she does pee on your bed like my dog has done – oh I was not a happy dog mommy that day!

    I can not staaaaand fat talk! When people start doing it I just give them short one worded answers so they hopefully stop. Most of the time I think people are fishing for compliments too but, sorry if this is rude, I don’t give in to it!

    What a nice comment from you FH though!!

  • Amy December 29, 2008, 8:23 am

    Yay for the wedding being SO soon!!!! šŸ™‚ Caitlin, my mom engages in fat talk all the time as well. She has since I was younger and it definitely impacted how I felt about myself and my appearance. Sometimes it seems that her appearance/weight are the only things she talks about. I’ve seen how other people react to that so I am trying to make a conscious effort to change my way of thinking so that I don’t use fat talk with myself. I don’t say much about it to anyone else but it’s just as potent to use fat talk silently in my head. I’m getting way better at it but I’m still a work in progress. šŸ™‚

  • Laughing Lindsay December 29, 2008, 8:41 am

    Caitlin, yet again… you’re a freaking genius! This is such a huge issue and I’m so glad you addressed it.
    I used to be SO down on myself and actualy start getting depressed because I couldn’t button my jeans and I was wearing sweats everywhere.
    I decided to action! (Yay to doing something about our problems as opposed to complaining) I hit the gym and started to watch the calories. All of a sudden I knew that I was doing the best I could and my less attractive body parts were fine becuase they would come along gradually, and they did! Along with eliminating the bad body talk all together, doing something about it also helped me.

  • RhodeyGirl/Sabrina December 29, 2008, 8:51 am

    eeeek! wedding so soon!

  • Heatber McD (Heather Eats Almond Butter) December 29, 2008, 8:54 am

    I love the Greek godess tummy. That is awesome! I really try not to engage in fat talk,but I won’t lie…I often think fat thoughts. I figure if I don’t say it out loud, the thoughts will eventually go away. This works most of the time. Plus, I’ve learned to accept my body. I do the best I can with exercise and diet. You just gotta learn to love everything about yourself, and I’m trying šŸ™‚

  • Lauren December 29, 2008, 9:20 am

    I am SO excited for you and Future Husband, the wedding is almost here!!! YEA!

    I am gulity of “Fat Talk” and what’s sad, is when I was 50 pounds heavier, I NEVER engaged in “Fat Talk”…ever. then I worked out like a mad woman, changed my diet and many years later, with a thinner appearance, but not the “Ideal Weight” that people, magazines and online forms said my weight should be for my height… then came the “stomach is too chubby”… “my legs are flabby” talk… even after all the good I’ve done for my health and body, I’ve let the Fat Talk creep in… now I’m really working hard to not engage in that kind of talk, and when I get a compliment, I say “Thank you” instead of “Well thanks, but my arms need to be toned and my hips are too big still”. I know none of that helps… so being good to my body and thankful that I’m healthy is all that matters!

    Good post Caitlin!

  • just me December 29, 2008, 9:54 am

    omg woman you hit the spot with me and this fat talk issue…esp when it comes to my mom…she does the EXACT SAME THING AS YOURS. I can always seem to say something to her to get her to stop doing it but when it comes to myself it’s so much harder. i seriously needed this post after the past few days and if i ever “fat talk” in front of you after we finally meet, SMACK ME PLEASE!

    oh yeah, and i was going to mention about maggie…our dog lucky is about 3-4 and has a peeing problem…where if she got too relaxed she would just pee…but my parents found out that she has some sort of hormonal imbalance and now takes meds everyday and has yet to pee on the carpet/hardwood floor since! let me know if you want more info about it.

  • Aimee December 29, 2008, 9:58 am

    I love my mom to death, but growing up she did so much “Fat Talk” that I think it was why I have been hard on my body since I was 10. I really hope that when I have kids, I never say anything negative about my body in front of them.

  • Anonymous December 29, 2008, 11:03 am

    STOP THE FAT TALK! I think we need to influence this and future generations to think healthily about their body images. Fat talk only leads to bad places… bad thoughts… and worst of all – Eating Disorders.

    As women we need to be more conscious of what comes out of our mouths (As women are the usual suspects of fat talk) and realize that we are negatively affecting each other.

    I like Jenngirl become raging mad when I hear others talking negatively about people’s bodies. I would rather be seen as rude then let other people become affected by other’s comments and get into negative habits like I did.

  • imadedinner December 29, 2008, 11:31 am

    UGH Sorry about the accident on the rug… that sucks.

    I’ve been working really hard to NOT participate in the self-hate talk. It really is TOXIC!

  • Laura December 29, 2008, 11:32 am

    I hope the weather is gorgeous for your big day!!!

    I’m guilty of fat talk occasionally, as much as I hate to admit it. Sometimes I’ll be a little too hard on myself, but there have also been times when I needed to wake up and realize that I WAS getting too fat. I guess there’s a difference between complaining and becoming self-aware though.

  • eatingbender December 29, 2008, 11:34 am

    I love the dialogue you get going on your blog – it’s so interesting to read these comments!

    It’s funny that you mention “fat talk” because as I started typing this comment, my mom walked in to ask me if she looked “huge” in the shirt she was wearing. I think for me, I am more likely to get fat talk from other people than to actually engage in it myself. I feel like if I were to constantly rag on myself, than not only would I start to think everything I was saying was true…so would the people around me! They would start to look for those “flaws” more often and I don’t think that’s good for anyone – especially me! Great question :o)

  • Anonymous December 29, 2008, 12:23 pm

    I know you’re not a professional nutritional counselor/RD/MD/etc., but, do you have any advice for healthy weight gain? I’m 5’4 and went from 125 to about 102 (lots of exercise, super clean eating). I had only intended to get down to 115 initially, then it became 110…ahem and so on. Anyway, I’d like to gain about 8 pounds. Any other readers please weigh in as well! Thanks thanks thanks

  • Jill December 29, 2008, 12:26 pm

    What a great discussion! I used to engage in ‘fat talk’ WAY more than I do now! Similar to your suggestions Caitlin, I have started focusing on positive things and actively changing my thoughts and behavior. I still catch myself thinking and/or talking fat sometimes, but I am working on it!

  • Amanda December 29, 2008, 12:31 pm

    Caitlin,

    THANK YOU for this post, your response, and the link to the YouTube video.

    For so long I have let the negative voices in my head dictate how I feel about myself, which led to an eating disorder and is truly preventing me from fully recovering. It is one thing to stop the disordered behaviors and a completely different task to stop the negative thinking. Although I may appear to have overcome my issues, my thoughts often bring me down.

    I am such a talented person who has achieved so much (running a half-marathon, passing my CPA exam, etc.) but for some reason, I let my feelings about my body … which don’t even have merit … dictate my self-worth.

    I am going to start talking back to those negative thoughts!

    Also that video was really great šŸ™‚

  • Caitlin December 29, 2008, 12:48 pm

    amanda – glad i could help!! i think you are taking a great mindset and that is so positive.

    anon – you are right, i am NOT a medical professional, so this should not replace a medical professional’s advice; so i urge you to also see a doctor or a nutritionist.

    however, based on my understanding of nutrition, i think your best bet is to incorporate lots of calorie-dense foods into your diet. luckily for you, calorie dense foods are yummy!! šŸ™‚ try eats more PB, avocado, nuts, etc. that way, you won’t feel so FULL but you will be loading up on the calories (which is good).

    it’s easy to add calories in little ways as well. instead of 1 tbsp of PB, have two. instead of 1 slice of cheese, have two. pour some extra cereal in the bowl or have a glass of OJ with your oatmeal.

    i would also encourage you from staying away from calorie-light but fiber-dense foods for a similar reason. these foods will fill you up without much calorie bang. things like salads and fresh fruit are healthy, of course, but they also tend to take up a lot of space in our tummies for very few calories.

    you might want to add a protein shake to your diet as well. i like muscle milk light!

    and don’t forget about your daily dose of ICE CREAM! šŸ™‚

    i think its wonderful you are on a journey to regaining a healthy weight!!

  • Holly December 29, 2008, 3:06 pm

    My husband did the same thing to me as your friend did – told me to either stop bitching or DO something about it. I’m glad I chose the second one, even though he loved me no matter how fat I was. šŸ˜‰

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