I know that Iâ€™ve made most of these points about waiting to find out our babyâ€™s sex throughout a handful of posts over the last two years, but â€“ I wanted to revisit the topic! I have several in-real-life friends who are pregnant and about to hit that 20 week mark when you can find out, and theyâ€™ve come to me wanting to know, â€œShould we wait? Would you do it again?â€
The short answer is YES! We were thrilled that we waited to find out Henryâ€™s sex, and we will definitely do it for future babies.
Hereâ€™s my case for waiting:
You canâ€™t go overboard shopping.
When you know the babyâ€™s sex, youâ€™re going to buy more cute outfits. Iâ€™m sure this is a scientifically proven fact. Hah. In all seriousness, â€˜gender neutralâ€™ newborn clothes are pretty blah and boring, so thereâ€™s not a big temptation to buy lots of stuff.
Itâ€™s more economical for Baby #2.
When youâ€™re buying (or given) neutral clothing, you can reuse for it the next baby, regardless of whether you have a boy or girl second. I know that of course a boy baby can wear a purple heart onesie and of course a girl baby can wear a truck onesie, but again â€“ it seriously cuts down on shopping when everything is more neutral, at least at the beginning.
This extends beyond clothes â€“ there are â€œgirlâ€ or â€œboyâ€ strollers, car seats, pack n playsâ€¦ Of course, even if you know the sex of your baby, you can still buy and register for more neutral gear, but Iâ€™ve noticed that most people gravitate towards sex-specific gear when they know what theyâ€™re having. (And again, Iâ€™m not saying that a baby boy canâ€™t rock a pink car seatâ€¦)
It makes birth extra-exciting.
Birth is exciting ALWAYS because youâ€™re about to meet your baby. But I was extra-excited because I didnâ€™t even know if my baby was going to be a boy or a girl. Finding out something so pivotal and central to my child was a â€˜carrotâ€™ during labor, and it really motivated me to get through the hard parts. And it was like a double-whammy surprise when he was born. When Kristien choked out, â€œItâ€™s a boy!â€ he was actually announcing a previously unknown fact â€“ pretty cool!
It feels quaint and old-fashioned.
We live in high-speed, technological times. Not finding out whether we were having a boy or a girl feltâ€¦ quaint. Like a relic from the past! It was fun to know that we were experiencing childbirth like our older relatives.
I loved the mystery of not knowing whether we were having a boy or a girl. It was exciting and fun to talk about each scenario when I was 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. I know that many people think this version of â€œfunâ€ sounds like torture, but seriously â€“ we thought it was so neat and intriguing not to know until the moment that he arrived.
And nowâ€¦ for some drawbacks!
Not knowing the sex makes it a slightly harder to bond with baby in utero.
I imagine that itâ€™s easier to feel connected to your child before their birth if you know whether itâ€™s a boy or a girl. It was so hard for me to imagine my baby because I didnâ€™t even know if I should picture a boy or a girl! Of course, I still loved Henry when he was inside me, I just think you probably forge a deeper in-utero connection when you imagine what life will really look like after they are born.
You canâ€™t go overboard shopping.
Ah, yes. A drawback and a benefit. You canâ€™t go overboard shopping, which is nice on your wallet, but itâ€™s certainly not as fun! Little newborn boy and little newborn girl stuff is totally adorable. And again, neutral stuff is boring. So boring.
You donâ€™t get to do a big gender reveal party.
â€¦ And that could be disappointing, if you like the idea of throwing a fancy reveal!
Itâ€™s hard to get your older children used to the idea of a sibling.
This is just a theory, of course, but I imagine that itâ€™s hard to get your toddler or elementary schooler excited about a baby when you canâ€™t tell them whether theyâ€™ll have a little brother or little sister. Plus â€“ what if your kid really wants a particular sex, and they are disappointed when their sibling is born?! That would not be a fun hospital conversation. Better to prepare them for reality sooner rather than later, right?
This is definitely a matter of personal preference â€“ I know some people HATE the idea of a surprise at birth or of waiting to find out. But I really loved waiting, and like I said, Iâ€™ll do it again in a heartbeat!
Did you wait? Did you find out? Would you do it differently in the future? Am I missing any pros or cons?
For more fun baby stuff, hereâ€™s my Week-by-Week Pregnancy Posts.