Baby continues to grow, and the bump continues to change shape. I was so round a few weeks ago, now I feel pointer. I’m carrying all in front, right around my belly button, which is getting flatter and flatter and feels so strange now!
There’s all sorts of Old Wives Tales about how you carry and the sex of the baby. According to the legends, I’m having a boy… but I hear that bump shape is really just genetics and how your body is built.
Thinking more and more about the sex of the little one! We decided not to find out before birth, and I’d say I like our decision 90% of the time. The other 10%, I regret not peeking during the ultrasound. Too late to go back now, though.
Here’s what BabyHTP is doing this week: “How big is your baby? About the size of a large banana — and speaking of bananas, if you eat one this week, there’s a good chance your baby will get a taste, too. That’s because he swallows a bit of amniotic fluid each day (for nutrition, hydration, and to practice digesting), so he eats whatever’s on your menu — and gets to put those developing taste buds to good use.” Source
I continue to feel pretty good. My only complaints is that it’s hard to sit up straight (losing ab muscles, I guess), and my lower back is usually throbbing by the end of the day. Not too bad. It’s definitely worth all the thumps, kicks, and rolls.
So – this week’s topic is…. feeling prepared.
I wrote about in last week’s update, I’m starting to feel unprepared because I can’t do anything for the nursery because we’ll be moving before the baby is born. I don’t want to buy anything because we have no room to store it, and having stuff piled up in a corner drives me nuts, so I feel like I’m twiddling my thumbs until we move (end of March). The other day, I realized that I’m 21 weeks and rapidly approaching viability (but please, baby, completely bake before you come out and greet the world). When you think, “Oh, I have 19 weeks to go,” it seems far away, but it’s really not that far, especially considering that baby could come earlier… much earlier.
Anyway, so after wallowing around in my unpreparedness for a few days, I decided to tackle the one thing that I could do – childbirth classes. The Husband and I have very little child care experience (I’ve never changed a diaper) and definitely want to learn as much as possible before the kiddo comes.
(I got a pretty good laugh out of the ‘maternity class’ photograph on my hospital’s website – if this is what their maternity classes are like, I will run screaming for the door.)
Yesterday, I bought a slew of baby books, and I signed up for:
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Infant CPR and Basic First Aid: Although we are both CPR and first aid certified thanks to coaching at Girls on the Run, I didn’t pay too much attention during the infant CPR section (at the time, I thought, “When will I ever need to do CPR on a baby?” Duh!). I definitely need a refresher. The Husband feels more confident in his memory, but I still want us both to be retrained.
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Newborn Care Basics: This will cover all the baby basics, like sleeping, swaddling, pooping, breastfeeding, and whatnot. I know the nurses give you a crash course in this at the hospital but, as mentioned, I feel like I have zero idea how to keep a baby alive, so….
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Bradley Method Classes: Bradley Method classes are a 12-week program to prepare you for natural, non-medicated childbirth, which is my secondary goal (first goal: get the baby out). I was really torn between Bradley classes and other childbirth classes, like Hypnobabies, but HTP Facebook friends helped me decide…
Our classes start this month, however, I’m going to miss the first four classes because of work events… I was told the initial classes go over pregnancy basics (nutrition, fitness), which would be nice to hear but not really what I’m taking the classes for.
Here are my Babble posts from this week:
Here’s Week 21, neatly summarized!
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Total Weight Gained: 15 – 16 pounds.
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Workouts: Four! Wahoo! Prenatal yoga, 30 minutes on the elliptical, 1000 yard swim, and a 2 mile walk
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Belly Button: Flattening
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Cravings: Potatoes. As usual.
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Emotional Meltdowns: One on Sunday. I was feeling so congested, tired, and crabby, and I just sobbed and sobbed like my world was ending. Hormones, clearly.
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Nicest Moment: I caught the Husband learning the words to lullabies so he can sing to the baby.
Mommas or mommas-to-be: What baby classes did you take? Or did you wing it?
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{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
I love these update posts. And also, the “nicest moment” is very sweet. Made me teary…
Your baby bump is so cute! You look great.
Your belly looks so cute! I’m having a boy and am carrying right out in front too, but my belly is way more round starting at my rib cage.
We’re in the same boat when it comes to buying stuff for baby. We’re hoping that we’re able to get into our new house (a short sale) by the end of March, so I can’t decorate or store anything because we’re in an apartment. I really want to decorate right now!
I’m planning on taking the baby CPR class, the newborn care basics, and a breastfeeding class. We’re also taking my 4 yr old stepson to a siblings class that will teach him more about the baby and how he can help take care of it.
I’m so excited about this baby (and could be mildly obsessed)!
I love your baby posts. They’re so sweet and genuine. I have every confidence in your ability to keep a baby alive. I laughed when I read that. Thanks for sharing!
I’m a childbirth educator with 5 years of exp. teaching hospital-based classes (natural, one-day, c-section, breastfeeding, newborn care, etc…) A new book out you may find helpful is called Natural Hospital Birth. An easy read, totally practical, and written by a doula/medical anthropologist. The author is Cynthia Gabriel and the book is forwarded by the head of OB at the University of Michigan Medical Center.
Such a CUTE moment of your husband practicing lullabies–that is awesome.
And that pic of the birthing class made me LOL -really!
You look so SO happy!!!!
We did not take any birth technique classes. In the end I had a natural birth and it really was not that painful. I will say that I think I probably won the genetic lottery when it comes to giving birth. My baby’s labor and delivery was 1hr and 54min from start to finish. By the time I was sure I was in labor it was time to push and she was born 9 minutes later. I thought that I had a stomachache for the first 45 minutes of my contractions. Classes would not have been helpful for me at all, but I think they are good in theory:)
Which baby books did you buy? Need recommendations!
I just bought Ina May’s childbirth guide. I also bought a vaccination book for the Hus to read through. I HIGHLY recommend panic free pregnancy.
I had a friend who took Bradley classes and she loved them! In fact, her class connected so well that they still get together now, months after all of their babies were born.
You look awesome!!! Sometimes reading all these pregnancy blogs make me want to have one. But I’m not ready yet!
Woah, baby.
I was looking forward to rubbing your belly this weekend. Sadface that things didn’t work out.
Hahaha that’s the most awkward picture I’ve ever seen!
Hi Caitlin!
My husband and I were deciding between Bradley and hypnobirthing as well. We ended up taking a class from a clinic that previously taught true hypnobirthing, then designed their own class that is similar. The big differences are that hypnobabies does not use the word “pain”, and this class acknowledges that pain is often involved in childbirth. Also, hypnobabies does not mention medical interventions whatsoever, whereas the class we’re taking touches upon medical interventions briefly because they are a reality for some circumstances (even though it is a “natural” birthing class.) We have our 3rd of 5 3-hr classes tomorrow night, and have really enjoyed it so far! It primarily focuses on utilizing the principles of mindfulness and applying them to childbirth. It has been great for preparing me for childbirth and for using the techniques in daily life! I don’t know if any of that helps with your decision, but maybe the info will be useful!
-Tiffany
P.S. I’m supposedly “carrying” like it’s a boy, too, but we know it’s a girl! You look gorgeous and your bump is adorable!
Good luck with your pregnancy! Thanks for commenting.
I love your pink blouse! That’s a great color on you!*
Make a “reservation” for an at-home lactation consultant too. You’ll probably need someone about 3-4 days after you come home from the hospital. Don’t just prepare for the birth, get ready for the days after too. I made that mistake!!!
FWIW, I can’t tell the difference between 16 weeks and 21 weeks, face/hair-wise. I assume though, you’re styled and wearing make-up in the 16 week one and not in the 21 week one because of the naked face challenge. So there you go.
You look so awesome, Caitlin! And the last line–about The Husband learning lullabies–unbelievably adorable!
Long story – but we are only starting our classes next week – when I will be 35.5 weeks pregnant! I suspect that I may be the farthest along in the class – although – if I happen to go into labour while there it will be a short walk to the maternity ward lol
Oh my goodness, thinking about your husband learning the words to lullabies has me tearing up! That is amaziingly sweet. What a great dad he is going to be!
We’re currently taking Bradley classes (I’m 18 weeks). We’ve had 3 so far and we both enjoy them. You’re right the first 3 classes are basics about the method, nutrition and pregnancy. Though I’ve learned a few new things during these first few classes, I have loved how my husband feels very informed and will now “check up” on me to make sure I’m getting enough protein, doing my kegels, etc. It makes me feel extra loved and it helps him feel involved since he can’t feel kicks yet! Good luck!
My husband was in med school and had already done two OB rotations, a family rotation and a couple of pediatric rotations by the time our daughter was born, so he really didn’t need any classes. I figured since everyone in the room would have delivered a baby in one way shape or form except me, I wasn’t too worried. I just got books and read stuff on the internet like crazy.
The one thing I wish I had taken was a breastfeeding class. A book just can’t really do that justice, and I was not at all prepared for how difficult it was going to be. I’m also incredibly shy and modest most of the time, so I didn’t ask for help when I should have. But overall if I could go back and do it again, I would most definitely try and take a breastfeeding and find support for that aspect of mothering.
Taking care of a newborn is tough, but you will definitely figure it out!
I have to agree about that ‘maternity class’ photograph. It kind of creeps me out but perhaps that’s how they did it back in the day.
Would love to see your bare belly, but understand if it’s too personal for you : ) You look great!
“I caught the Husband learning the words to lullabies so he can sing to the baby” — Too cute!
And that maternity class photo looks like it belongs on Awkward Family Photos hahaha!
Now that is sweet. He is going to be a nurturing father to Baby HTP. Go to the library and find some Raffi, and our long time favorite, Pete Seeger’s Singable Songs for the Very Young.
I carried all in the front with my first child. From the back you could not tell at all. Then I turned around to the side and whoa! It was fun to see the reactions of people.
Learning lullabies = adorable. You guys are going to be awesome parents.
We tweeted yesterday, but I am taking similar classes–CPR, BFing, Childbirth, and Infant Care. I can one-up you on the getting nursery ready. We are moving when I’m 39 weeks! Nothing will be in our current house, and everything will be delivered to our next house. I am learning to be very calm and cool and get as ready as I can without the stuff. It’s not ideal, but how it worked out. I’m just trusting that my family will help have whichever house ready when I get home! We also don’t know girl or boy, but old wives tails are pointing to boy. And not to scare you, but if you pop too soon, the baby won’t be coming home for a while. You’ve still got many months to go before bringing baby home.
Yay I love these baby updates
We winged it! But, I nannied throughout college and worked in the infant room of a daycare for a couple of years so I felt prepared for the kid part of it. I will admit that I think it was easier for me because of the experiences I had with infants. I guess the lesson there is to try to spend some quality time with babies if you have a chance?
I don’t think anything could have prepared me better for birth than just having a positive and flexible attitude.
Loving the pregnancy & baby updates.. Gorgeous Mama
Love that he was learning lullabies. SO cute, and you look great!
We’re starting our Bradley classes this month too. I’ve heard nothing but great things about the Bradley Method. I’ve read “Husband-Coached Childbirth” by Dr. Bradley and really liked it. I like that my husband is going to be trained to be my coach and #1 supporter through this process.
No classes here, except for the lamazze with the first one. Went through CPR (adult, child, baby) in high school and college and babysat growing up so I didn’t do those. Have fun!
The Husband teaching himself lullabies is the CUTEST thing ever. Ever.
Agreed!!
No classes for me, we started one but I wasn’t into it and the chairs were SO uncomfortable! Anyway, we ended up not needing them, it just happened and my body did what it was supposed to! No matter what you do you are going to do great, and it will come to you
Your nicest moment made me say “Awwww” out loud! So cute!
Oh my gosh, that childbirth class photo is hilarious! Hopefully, your classes also won’t resemble the Full House episode when Becky goes to Lamaze class with Danny, Joey, and Jesse.
Oh how I look forward to your Wednesday baby posts!
A few things:
1) I carried super low (supposedly means boy) and I had a girl. I had SO MANY women say to me, “it’s a boy!!!”. I’d say, “guess again!”
2) I’m planning on a “surprise” baby for the second. It sounds like so much fun but also a huge test of patience.
3) I took a childbirth class & a breastfeeding f class. Enjoyed them both!
4) My daughter’s diapers were the first I’d ever changed so don’t worry about that!
Definitely take a breastfeeding class!
The husband is so sweet : )
Aww, you look so cute.
I really think everyone carries their baby differently and its all about body style and type. EVERYONE kept telling me “Oh I know your having a boy for reasons x, y and z.” and low and behold our ultrasound confirmed we are having a girl. HA!
We just signed up for Bradley Method classes that start in March. I’m also in a similar situation with moving. I’ve been pinning pictures like crazy for nursery inspiration, but we’ll be moving some time in the late spring and baby’s due at the end of summer so my hands are tied. We’ve bought a few little things that can be stored away (onsies/sleepers/moby wrap!).
I didn’t take classes, just used the Bradley Method book – which I LOVE. From week 18 I did the visualization exercises (almost) every night. I had the milestones down pat and felt very prepared.
My husband did not read the book, but I used the information in it to type up “Coach notes” for him. That way I wouldn’t be dictating instructions and wishes mid-labor and losing focus and concentration. He said after the fact that they were extremely helpful especially when I hit the self-doubt milestone and didn’t know what the heck I wanted! I’d written down things beforehand to prepare him and he stayed strong for me when I was starting to waver at the end.
Knowing what my body was actually doing during labor made it easier to manage. Labor can feel like your body is getting away from you if you don’t really know what to be looking for. Most women know that labor is contractions, dilation and pushing, and thats it. Its SO MUCH more than that!!
Its like someone thinking that running a marathon is the same as just running 1 mile, 26 times over. So they never bother running more than 1 mile and show up at the starting line thinking they will be successful! They will quit at mile 5 when they realize that while a marathon >IS< 26 1-mile increments, each mile evolves into something more!
Similarly, if someone expects that labor is just a contraction repeated every 2-3 minutes for 6 hours, they will probably end up with an epidural at hour 2 when they realize its a lot more work than that. A contraction at hour
The Bradley Method teaches you the *evolution* of labor, ensuring you feel informed, prepared and 100% confident in your body throughout the whole process. We had a successful home birth with our son asleep in the next room. I attribute that entirely to the Bradley techniques.
You can do it!
Awesome comment, thank you so much.
I don’t know, I kinda see you as carrying a girl. I’m generally very good at predicting this sort of thing…….hehe
Totally you have to take classes! Especially if you’ve had very little experience with the whole business. It’ll help you not get overwhelmed!
These are my favourite posts. It’s so great to read and see your pregnancy progress every week.
Wait, did you buy a house?
Nope – we’ll either rent or buy by March!
We did Bradley. I can’t say that I executed it perfectly during labor, but I did have a natural, zero intervention birth (well, except I had my midwife break my water toward the end). I’m preg with the second and will probably do a refresher course and read the book again. It’s such a well rounded course and makes so much sense, I recommend it!
And for the nursery and stuff, don’t sweat it. I understand that you get anxious with the first baby and want to get it all done and perfect, but we didn’t get much stuff and never did any decorating (or get a crib), except my mom made some cute covers and caddys out of some baby material. Pretty much all the baby stuff is just not necessary! Fun yes, needed, no.
Oh, and I wend 12 days past my due date. You never know when the baby will keep baking and you have a few extra weeks on your hands
Whatever you decide, I hope you invest in a rockin’ long-sleeved onesie like the preggy lady in the hospital birthing class photo.
I remember feeling similar to you when I was in the 20-something-weeks of my pregnancy with G. I We werent sure if we were staying or going as far as our home went, and we decided not to dismantle our in home office to make a nursery if we wouldn;t necessarily be staying. G wound up sleeping in her bassinet in our room for the first several months (as most babies do), and my worry was unwarrented, but of course I think any mom-to-be would feel the same. Like you I turned to classes and books to feel prepared. We took an emergency C-Section class just incase our birth would come to that so that we could feel prepared and knowledgable. We also took a wonderful inclusive preparedness class that our hospital offered that covered everything from pregnancy needs, to child birth (basically an overview of all methods and some breathing techniques), to bringing home baby (diapering, swaddling, feeding, etc). I felt much more prepared after that combined with my books. Good luck to you – you’ll do wonderfully.
Oh – I am going to see if my hospital has an emergency c section class. That would be helpful.
I too had never changed a diaper and rarely ever held an infant. So when I had my son, while in the hospital, every time the nurse would bring him to me, he would dirty his diaper. No one offered to show me how to change it, so I mustered thru on my own. I was a bit scared, but knew I would have to learn. Wasn’t too bad. Books will be a bit helpful, but every child is different and you WILL learn as you go. Most times noone can tell you what its like or show you what you need to do, you will need to learn as things happen. But, you’ll be great! Its really exciting
I didn’t find out what I was having with both my children..the first was a girl which I carried really high and the second was a boy which I carried very low…one thing that helped me predict the sex was the heartrate, they are usually very high with girls and low with boys…totally true in my case. It was fun not finding out with the first one, but for some reason the second one stressed me out…I think because my husband really wanted a son.
Glad he got his wish
My one real comment about Bradley, that probably applies to every birthing method is that I went in to the birth of my first child thinking that if I just did everything they said (ate right, did the exercises, learned the breathing) that everything would go smoothly. I also had a friend who had a baby a few months before me who did Bradley and told me that it didn’t really hurt. Well her daughter was about 6 lbs. My son was 9.5 lbs….IT.HURTS. Also, I was in labor for 30+ hours. So even if you do everything exactly right doesn’t mean that the baby is going to magically pop out on schedule with minimal discomfort. I will be the first to admit that some of that was clearly wishful thinking on my part. My daughter did come much more quickly, but again, relaxing breathing doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. It just helps.
That is a big baby boy
Congrats!
Hi Caitlin,
I just found your blog! I live in charlotte and I am on a search for an obgyn who will respect my wishes for a natural bith; possibly at the birthing center in Fort Mill. Would you be comfortable giving out your DR’s info? Or any advice? thanks, Leigh Anne
Sent you an email!
If these pictures of you are with a naked face, you don’t EVER need to go back. You are gorgeous! Love your blog and attitude.
Thanks Melissa
Bradley Method
Aw, that’s so sweet that he’s learning lullabies! He is going to make such a good daddy. I babysat from about 10 or so on, so I’ve changed a million diapers. Knowing how to do it doesn’t make it any less fun
A friend once told me that since I worry about being a good parent, I will be a good parent. Who knows if this holds up, but it sure did make me feel better. I am already more confident and luckily both baby and I have survived 3.5 months so far!
That does make me feel better!
I’m gald you are doing well!! I just ask my mom and she thinks you are having a boy. In a few months we will know for sure…
My husband and I took bradley classes for our first pregnancy. We both LOVED it. I’m a nurse and most of the anatomy and physiology stuff wasn’t new to me, but the way it was all explained and presented was still really valuable.
As it turned out, my labor didn’t progress and my water had broken (you have to deliver within 12 hours of water breaking or the risk of infection increases), so I ended up on pitocin and then with an epidural.
However, I hated my numb toes and asked them to turn it down or off. By the time I was fully dilated, I could feel just enough and it only took me 45 min to push him out.
It’s worth the learning experience for sure. Just don’t stress about anything. Have a plan and stay flexible. And be nice to yourself, however that is manifested.
Good luck!
The husband sneak-learning lullaby lyrics – that is so.freaking.cute.
I had my first baby about 14 weeks ago and we took so many classes. The best one, by far, was breastfeeding. I recommend your husband go too. Breastfeeding is really hard for a lot of women! My baby and I never got our latch down but I’ve been pumping and exclusively giving him breastmilk. My other piece of advice is to ask for a lactation consultant as soon as possible. They want it to work as much as you do!!
So reading all of this I think I might be the only one who didn’t take any classes, and you know things worked out just fine. I elected not to do any because talking to family and friends who were either medical professionals or had just had babies it seemed like my body would do it’s thing. I was familiar with the birth process and had taken the cpr/ first aid through work. All in all it was a simple and awesome experience.
i find it insanely adorable that your husband is practicing singing lullabies!!!
I took a 2 day natural childbirth class, breast feeding class, and newborn essentials. I honestly did use a lot of what I learned in my labor and delivery (which was intervention-free). All the meditation I practiced went out the door when contractions came on! The classes did help me feel more prepared though. Looking back on the early days with baby, there were some things I feel like I did a certain way just because that’s what they told us in class, and they may not have necccesarily been the right approach for us. I think its important to take what you learn as advise and not rules. Just because someone is a baby expert doesn’t mean they are an expert on your baby. A mother’s instincts are amazing. It took me awhile to trust them but that’s is the most valuable advice I can give!
me again – I did hypnobirth classes with my hubby for our first and I have to say it did not help me much at all during labor – however – my first child is a very chill kiddo and I guess all that relaxation and meditating helped her to come out all zen and sleep well etc! LOL! I think any class is great for educating you as to what to expect – although books could accomplish the same sort of – what really helps is the doula since they are there with you THE ENTIRE LABOR – talking you through what is happening, why it’s happening, how to get things to progress etc. The Dr./midwives/nursing staff at hospital are in and out and really leave your labor up to you. check out DONA or Charlottedoulas.org, cappa.net to learn more. Oh and there are a few books by Ina May Gaskin about birth by midwives that at least won’t leave you frightened – not sure entirely how I feel about her altogether but it is interesting reading.
oh and I didn’t have any childcare experience either before having my own and that part all works itself out – outside of an emergency babies need to eat, sleep, be loved and held, and have a diaper changed. Sort of a pared down version of what we all need – less the diaper change hopefully! ha. so don’t stress about that stuff!