I spy a BUMP!
I am trying really hard not to get too ahead of myself, but the entire pregnancy journey has been a whole lot of “I can’t wait for this… okay, now I can’t wait for that.” First it was, “I can’t wait to get a Big Fat Positive.” Then, it was to hear the heartbeat. Then, to see the baby on the ultrasound. Since Week 8, I’ve been asking the Husband, “Do you think I’m showing?” but he always said “No, not yet!” And then, this week, Kristien said to me (totally unprompted), “You know, I think you have a little bump,” and I almost died. I know that the bump is small and still doesn’t scream BABY, but it’s still exciting to have someone else in my life acknowledge the change.
So, here’s what’s going on with BabyHTP this week, according to BabyCenter, “Your baby is now the size of a lemon. Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine, and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys, and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over her body for warmth.”
We are friends with a couple in Charlotte who found out they were pregnant just a week after we did, and our due dates are only two days apart. We’ve all decided to read the book Birthing From Within and start a small discussion group.
Birthing from Within helps you prepare for birth and parenthood through spiritual/emotional introspective and creative exercises, like writing and drawing (if this sounds super hippie, that’s because it is super hippie). The basic premises is that every woman has a question she must answer before she can give birth – not a question that can be answered by a doctor, but a question that can only be answered by her heart (“Am I strong enough to give birth?” was one example). Birthing from Within helps you figure out ‘your’ question and answer so you can give birth without fear. The book helps a mother handle pain through natural pain management techniques, regardless of the interventions she has during delivery. Other topics addressed: the father’s role, baby-proofing your marriage, newborn care, etc.
Our plan is to read a few chapters (they are very short) every week or so, do the exercises at home with our spouse, and then meet as a group of four to discuss. Our friends are very philosophical and intelligent, so I’m really looking forward to hearing their insights.
The first exercise was on writing your birth legacy. For 10 minutes, the Husband and I sat and wrote down everything we could think that we ‘knew’ about birth… birth stories, old wives’ tales, feelings and images, fears and concerns, beliefs. Then, we read them aloud to each other and helped the other person find themes. One big theme for both of us was that we expect childbirth to be an emotionally transformative moment and are a little scared that we’ll look at our new baby and not feel crazy, instant attachment like everyone says we should. I was very surprised that we both felt like this because I had never acknowledged this fear, even in my own headspace (is this normal?)! I’m excited to hear our friends’ thoughts, too, and get their feedback on our birth legacies.
In other news… a few weeks ago, I started to blog for the parenting website Babble.com. I post every day of the week! If you would like to hear more of my pregnancy rambling, come over to Babble.com’s Being Pregnant. So far, I’ve written about things like…
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And more!
Here’s Week 14, in a nutshell:
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Total weight gained: Had an official weigh-in at the gym and have gained four pounds total – right on track.
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Workouts: Three! Go me! I walk/ran 20 minutes and did 10 minutes on the elliptical, ran a 5K race, and swam 1,000 meters.
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Cravings: Cheese on toast, smoothies, Angry Birds.
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Aversions: Still none. It takes a lot to wreck my appetite.
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New Habit: Sleeping with a sports bra on. It helps boob growth pain so much (HTP readers recommended this and I cannot thank you all enough!).
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Doctor Status: After much hemming and hawing, I selected a new doctor who is rumored to be more supportive of natural births. My first appointment isn’t until after the New Year, but I’m hopeful that this is the one for me!
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Baby Items Purchased: Baby shopping hiatus because of Christmas gifts.
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Goal for Next Week: Get to bed before midnight!
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{ 79 comments… read them below or add one }
I seee a bump too! BabyHTP is makin’ some moves
Yay week 14!!
My husband is former football player from West Texas who loves beer. I was reading about your plan to read from that book and do the exercises together and I had to chuckle at the idea of attempting to get my husband to do something that night. The thought is hilarious. The only dirty hippie in our relationship is me
I’d love to hear more about your experience with it! Sounds like an interesting book.
Haha maybe when the time comes, you can find a friend or online buddy to do it with you
Or maybe he will surprise you!
For me, a transforming moment.
Thanks daddy, I love you.
It must be. It’s like you are seeing your baby with a baby. So surreal.
I spy a bump too! I was just looking at my 14 week pic last night and it was very similar to yours! That book sounds awesome! Although I wish I would’ve read up more on parenting than birth or pregnancy. I feel lost constantly!
I admit – I have been stalking your bump photos.
You are a great mommy!
My, that’s a lovely looking bump you’ve got there! And LOL on the Angry Birds craving! I have a feeling that when I’m pregnant some day, it will take a lot to wreck my appetite too. Going to check out some of your Babble articles now!
I see a bump! So sweet! The whole journey is just so exciting! I remember going to the book store when I was pregnant and looking at as many books as I possibly could. I wanted to know everything that was going on and everything that would happen. I wish I would have been smarter at 23 to journal my experience, but that time has passed. Thank you for sharing your excitement and journey. I am so happy for you two!
Definitely a little bump there! So cute!
Yay bump!! I’m a little jealous, I don’t anticipate actually getting a bump for a while yet… I’m not skinny to begin with. There’s some definite rounding to my pre-existing flub, though!
I feel a lot better that I’m not the only one going, “Okay, I can’t wait for this. Now THIS. Now THIS.” I’m trying hard to enjoy being pregnant, but my tendency is always to look for what’s next, in everything. I have a hard time being present. My brain says, “Okay, you’ll relax and really start FEELING pregnant when you hear the heartbeat.” Then it was the ultrasound. Now it’s finding the gender. After that it’ll probably be decorating the nursery. Not that I’m not totally excited, I just don’t know if I’ve had that OMG AMAZING feeling yet. Has me pretty worried I won’t realize, ‘Hey, I’m a mom’ until the baby graduates high school.
Also: OH SMOOTHIES. Chocolate-cherry smoothies are my life right now.
I need some cherry smoothies, stat.
Your bump is definitely there, and super cute! I really love your weekly updates. I think it would be cool to see how my Mom was feeling and changing every week she was pregnant with me, I think it will be awesome for your kid!
Look at your cute little baby bump! You look great!
So cute! Love the bump!! You are definitely showing! And you definitely have that “glow”. Beautiful!
I see it!
How exciting. Love your updates on what’s new with the baby…it’s fascinating. I would be putting the cart before the horse every step of the way too…it’s just so fun to look forward to things!
Ooooh, there is definitely a bump!!! That must make it feel more real
I’ll never forget the advice my mom gave me when I was pregnant with my first child 17 years ago. I asked her “what if the baby’s not cute?”. Yes, I was worried about this. She told me “honey you won’t know if he’s not cute because you will think he is the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen”. Best advice, plus he really was the most beautiful baby.
Don’t worry. You will fall in love immediately. Best day of my life!
Aww I love this story, Jennie!
During one of my later ultrasounds (32 weeks I think) we actually saw my little man pee!! It looked like a little jet stream of amniotic fluid. It was the cutest thing in the world, and the technician, my mom and I all had a good laugh!
All the best to you both on this journey. Enjoy it!
Agh! I always wondered about that. Do they pee/poo inside you?
Yep. And get erections (if it’s a boy, obviously)!
oops – not poo (unless they are under stress, like late term)…
Hahah grossssssssss!
Awwww…definitely a bump! Looking so cute
Yay for your cute lil’ baby bump. I can’t wait to experience that myself! Til then I will live vicariously
They make specific sleeping bras that are super comfy. Might be more comfy than a sports bra if you want to try!
I was all about the sleep bras.
Cravings…Angry Birds. Love it!
Love the bump and love the idea of Birthing from Within – I’m definitely a “hippie” type so that really resonates with me. I can’t wait to hear more about it! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Yayy congrats on the bump!!
Congrats on the bump!! So exciting
How very wondferful! You look so radiant!
That is most DEFINITELY a legit baby bump
I spy a bump, too! How exciting! Random thought… I feel like H will be so much older than BabyHTP, but they will be in the same grade in school. Isn’t that crazy?!
i wish they were going to the same school!
I LOVED “Birthing from Within!” It’s amazing to work
through the book during your pregnancy but it’s even more amazing to look back a few years later. We also read the Bradley method book and one called “Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way” (revised edition). Good luck!!
Your bump is super cute! Granted that’s what I look like after a night of chugging Bud Lights
Definitely a little bump peeking out there! 14 weeks is right about when there was a little change in my bump pictures as well. Definitely not enough for anyone else to really notice, but my husband and I could see it.
I won’t lie, when my daughter was I completely expected to have that huge rush of emotion and outpouring of love, and I didn’t. Part of it for me, I’m sure, was that I had an epidural. I felt absolutely zero when I was pushing. And I pushed for only about 15 minutes. So there was no real build up. I wouldn’t change my decision on the epidural (I was induced because of pre-e, and stuck in bed because my blood pressure wouldn’t stay down and I was on the pitocin, personally I didn’t feel up to sticking it out for 12-24 hours stuck in that bed with no pain relief). But I do think that not really having that climax in the birth process, other than of course, giving birth, had something to do with it.
I also struggled with a bit of PPD and hated myself for not feeling like my heart was going to burst out of my chest with love. But you know what? I absolutely love my daughter more than anything in the world. It took time to adjust, and a little bit of time to find the space in my heart, but now she occupies nearly the whole damn thing.
So just know, even you don’t have that instant rush of emotion and love, you 100% do love your child. You were meant to have a family and you WILL feel that infinite amount of love. It just might not happen right off the bat. And that is ok.
Like. It’s true. Famed hormone rush or not, you LOVE your child.
Thank you for sharing this Ashley!!!
Holy cow I just freaking wrote a novel on there. Sorry
I totally see the bump! You’ll have your big belly before you know it!
You look adorable with your little bump. Congrats again, it is such special time in your life. Seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with my first and she is now 3! Take it all in and soak it up!
Cute bump! I’ve read that it’s not that uncommon for people to not feel a surge of love and attachment the first time they see their baby – or at least to question if they feel “enough.” I say that not to worry you more but to say that my understanding is that it is normal. Any reaction is normal, really. Some people feel the surge and others don’t, but even if you are in the latter group it doesn’t mean that love won’t come (and quickly I’m sure). I have also read that the deep bond that parents feel toward their offspring really comes from the act of taking care of them, so even if you don’t feel that crazy love from the beginning, just the act of caring for them will make it grow. And thank god for that, because if it were solely biological we wouldn’t have adoption (which is what I want to do someday)! All of this brilliant wisdom brought to you by someone who is not a mom but has been around kids her whole life (nannied six kids under 6 one summer!) and reads a ridiculous amount of mommy blogs.
Heheh thank you Sarah – this made me feel a lot better.
Gorgeous bump!
I love the idea of a baby/birthing book club. I know you probably have a pile of birthing books, but one I’ve read recently that I loved is “Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering” by Sarah Buckley. Sarah’s a doctor who has had 4 home/water births and has an evidence-based approach to natural birthing. I think it’d be right up your alley.
I love Birthing from Within!
I have also had the fear of not feeling “instant attachment,” which I thought was abnormal, but I guess it’s more common than I thought. For me, I think this fear stems from everyone telling me that I’m going to feel that crazy attachment, so instantly my paranoid brain thinks, “Well, what if I don’t?” It’s the same thing when everyone tells me that it’s okay that I don’t have childcare experience because my maternal instincts will kick in and tell me what to do. I always think, “But what if I don’t have these maternal instincts?” But whatever, I’m sure we’ll both be awesome moms who are obnoxiously attached to our babies
And I’m definitely seeing a bump! You look soo cute.
Awesome Catherine
Thank you for sharing this. It makes me feel a lot better.
aw the little bump! Im sure it will be a lot bigger before you know it.
I can’t believe you have no food aversions! Go you!
You totally have a little bump! So cute, mama!
I loved it when someone noticed and commented on my bump for the first time! So fun, isn’t it??
My mentor told me last week that if my child is born and I do not feel an instant attachment or “love” that it is OK and not to think I am losing my mind, weird or depressed. She has had two children and with the first there was no attachment until days after they got home. With the second she felt a bond instantly. So good to hear and to know that for some it happens but it is OK.
Sounds like your pregnancy is right on track. I’m so happy for you, again.
Also, I love this book. I hope I can remember to read it when I get pregnant next century!
reading your blog has taken me back. babies are so, so wonderful. congrats!!! getting a bump is so exciting! i remember one day at 20 weeks i woke up and there was all of a sudden a nice size bump. it was so weird! you will know what i mean shortly! best wishes to you and your husband!
Totally a bump! I also struggled with being present during my pregnancy, and then after Maya was born, I continued to look forward to the next developmental phase. Looking forward to sleeping through the night is big on my mind as a working mom (great babble article, BtW!). She is now 3 months old, so no longer a newborn! I am sure that a few months from now, I will long for the days when she was still a little tiny baby. I find that yoga really helps me become more centered, and did prenatal yoga for the 2nd half of my pregnancy (great prep for childbirth!). Yoga was also the first exercise besides waking that I did post partum, and it still helps me be more present.
I also had the fear of not bonding withe the baby after she was born. I have to say, though, that moment when I gave the final push, the doctor guided her out of me, she took that first breath, let out that first cry, and was placed on my chest, my cup runneth over. Most emotional experience of my life. And, it was thet first time I ever saw my husband cry (typically not one to wear his emotions on his sleeve). As emotional as the birth was, bonding, however, was something that took time. Those first few weeks of sleepless nights and seemingly inconsolable crying were rough, but the bonding happened slowly but surely. I think breast feeding definitely helped.
Everybody’s experience is different though, and this sounds like a very interesting book!
Jen
Awww this comment made me so emotional!!
I think it would be interesting to track what the sson-to-be-dad goes through , ha! (his cravings, his weight gain, his aversions)….you never know
Do you read http://www.thefitnessista.com ? she’s full-term now. i’m not sure that’s the right link, but its the Fitnessista.
Yes! So exciting to see her grow!
In case you didn’t know about this website I thought I would tell you about it…..
It’s called Parents Connect and you are able to sign up to recieve montly updates about your pregnancy. You just put in how far along you are, and you will start getting emails that correspond with your due date. I used that site all through both of my pregnancies and really enjoyed reading the emails. I actually saved them in a folder after my last birth. AND…. the emails don’t stop after you give birth. My son is two years old now, and I’m still getting monthly emails about his development and progression. I don’t really read those much (since he’s my second child and I already know the run of things) but I still enjoy getting the monthly email.
It’s really fun. Thought you might be interested in that.
*hugs*
Oh thank you! I signed up
I’m excited to get emails!
OMG!!!! I love your bump! I can’t believe it’s already been a week since the last update. You are a gorgeous growing mama. I know I have said it the past several weeks, but I really do LOVE these weekly updates on babyhtp! Makes my <3 so happy for you!
Caitlin–one thing I wanted to comment on. You talked about giving birth as an emotionally transformative moment. And for some women, it is. For me, and a lot of other moms I know? It wasn’t. And that’s not a bad thing! It just is. You’re tired, bloody, maybe on heavy medications, getting stitched up, etc. People are all around you, cleaning up you and the baby. It’s hectic, no matter *where* or *how* you give birth.
So, if you don’t feel instant attachment–give it a few days. Rest. Eat. Cuddle your baby. Take a shower. Kick your visitors out for awhile.
Also, I love that book. It’s so hippie it practically smells like patchouli, but it has some really good exercises to get you emotionally ready for whatever birth may come.
“You’re tired, bloody, maybe on heavy medications, getting stitched up, etc. People are all around you, cleaning up you and the baby. It’s hectic, no matter *where* or *how* you give birth.”
Yep. Its hard to feel emotionally connected whilst bloody and spreadeagled on a bed getting stitched up.
But you do get there. And WOW do you love them. 3 1/2 years later I still have those moments of ‘whoah – I really love this little dude’. And it takes me by surprise.
Thank you both. This makes me feel so much more normal.
i look forward to these posts SO much
love them, you look soo cuteee! lil bump 
thank you so much!!!
Love your pregnancy posts.
gives me an idea of what I have to look forward to, since you’re 5 weeks ahead of me. Although I really wish I could have the same food aversions as you as my food aversions is–everything!
Love these posts and following your pregnancy progress!
I know I’m one of many commenters saying this, but I really do love hearing your perspective and updates on your pregnancy! Many of the books and resources your recommend I haven’t heard of before. Keep them coming!
Adorable baby bump! Such a touching experience and a great idea to keep track of the weekly progress…
I read Birthing from Within and really enjoyed it. I also highly recommend Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Every time some told me some horror story and said I’d be begging for an epidural I’d think of the wonderful stories I read in that book. And you know what, I never begged for the epidural.
Love the lil baby bump – too cute!! I’m so excited to see you grow and progress here and love following you along this journey
I agree with the other comments about not feeling that connection right away. I was beyond excited to be having a baby and everyone in my family told me that when the birth happened, I’d be filled with an overwhelming feeling of love and happiness. I was pumped for the ‘big moment’. The truth was: I just felt tired and dopey and glad it was over. I was very upset about having to have a last minute c-section after pushing for over 2 hrs and was heavily medicated. I felt really awful for not feeling that loving connection right away and blamed myself for being a ‘bad mother’. I even lied and told my family that yes, I had an overwhelming outpouring of love (isn’t that terrible?? I didn’t want to feel judged by them) But, he’s 3 months old now and I love him with all my heart. Thinking about it now, I can’t really pin point when it happened, but just know that eventually it happens and its wonderful.
Congratulations and enjoy every moment!
What an adorable bump.
I love watching the progress!
I actually found this book a few years ago at my former job (we had a book exchange spot where you could drop off old books and take new-to-you books). Now that we are pregnant (I’m 4 weeks behind you) I think I will finally sit down and read this book.
You’re looking great!!
I slept with a sports bra last night and it felt so good! Funny that you had the same tip. I wasn’t doing it because of growth but because I have a nursing child and pregnancy makes my nips sore! I don’t nurse him much anymore but he just cut some molars and he was definitely a little more nursey yesterday. Ouch.
Sorry girl- been a bad reader! CONGRATS! Its such an exciting journey. Not that I’m an expert, but if you have any questions- feel free to email me- even weird stuff
I spy a bump too!! You know though… even though I couldnt see a bump before, I definitely saw changes in your boobs… can I say that? HAHA! *awkwarrrrd*
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