Worth It

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This morning (during yoga), I was thinking a lot about self-esteem and where it comes from.  So much of our self-esteem comes from other people.  From our parents, our friends, our partners.  This is natural, but it’s not ideal.   How people see you is too mixed up in the ways they see themselves.  And how passive is that, really – to wait around for other people to decide you’re fun enough or smart enough or pretty enough?  Self-esteem shouldn’t be something that other people give to you.

 

Self-esteem is a gift you actively give yourself over and over again, every day.  Stop waiting for others to tell you that you’re okay.  You’re already okay.  You’re better than okay.  You’re perfectly you

{ 71 comments }

 

  • Christina August 14, 2011, 1:20 pm

    That is so true…

  • Liz August 14, 2011, 1:23 pm

    I love this! Thanks so much for brightening my day! I have always had issues with self esteem and self worth. I would like to say that over the years it has gotten better, but it hasn’t. I know I’m pretty, that’s something that people have told me my entire life. But beyond that…well. I feel like it may be especially hard for me because my husband is a super genius (like graduate number one in his ivy league law school class and clerk for the supreme court super genius)and I’m…pretty. This is such a wonderful reminder to me that I’m way more than pretty! I need to stop waiting for other people to tell me that! I need to believe it myself.

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 10:34 am

      You are amazing!

  • Laura @ My Reason to Tri August 14, 2011, 1:30 pm

    so very true! thanks for the reminder!!!!

  • Khushboo August 14, 2011, 1:35 pm

    The only validation we need is that from within- AMEN!

  • Hannah August 14, 2011, 1:36 pm

    This is beautiful. Thank you so much. We need to remember that real self-esteem comes from within ourselves.

  • kalli August 14, 2011, 1:37 pm

    well said caitlin! it took me to get to 41 to realize we make our own happiness everyday. do not rely on your husband, friends, coworkers etc. You need to feel it from the inside out and own it 🙂 AMEN! great post 🙂

  • CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com/ August 14, 2011, 1:38 pm

    I really needed this today! thank you for such an awesome post. I recently gave my old eating disorder clinic a copy of your book and the occupational therapist called me to say how much everyone is enjoying it! She gave everyone a pack of post it notes to spread the word and said everyone was really excited to participate. You did a really good starting this movement because i would love to think people dont judge me because of my weight, height, clothes I wear, or what I am or am not eating. I want to like me and as im learning, the more i start liking me, others come around more too. hmm maybe self-love and confidence can be contagious?!

    • CaitlinHTP August 14, 2011, 1:40 pm

      thank you so much for donating a copy of Operation Beautiful to your clinic 🙂 this made me cry a little!

      • CJ @ http://healthy-happy-whole.com/ August 14, 2011, 1:52 pm

        oh my gosh dont cry! just know that you have started a really awesome thing and I look forward to meeting you this week at HLS to thank you in person 🙂

        • CaitlinHTP August 14, 2011, 1:54 pm

          I am so excited to meet you too!

        • Baking N Books August 14, 2011, 2:52 pm

          That is so beautiful!

  • Lexi @ A Spoonful of Sunshine August 14, 2011, 1:45 pm

    “Perfectly you”

    Thank you, Caitlin–that’s a beautiful start to a Sunday morning 🙂

  • Sarah August 14, 2011, 1:47 pm

    Hi Caitlin, I’d like to ask your opinion on the new book out called “The Inside Tract” with a lifestyle and nutritional approach to digestive health. Would your husband have an opinion.
    (The book appears balanced with no extreme approaches.
    Also, have you read or heard anything good about Wayne D. Dwyer? I have heard he has good inspirational books.

    • Baking N Books August 14, 2011, 3:32 pm

      Jill I have not read the 1rst one and strongly believe that our mental states affect our bodies/digestion. Often that needs to be addressed first.

      I have read parts of Dyer’s “The Secret of Letting Go” and very helpful. You reminded me to re-find it. I need it now.

      • Sarah August 15, 2011, 10:34 am

        Excuse me? This is a very rude statement. I’m not “Jill”. You have a strong issue honey and you might want to consider honing your social and attitude skills.

        • Baking N Books August 15, 2011, 2:09 pm

          Yikes! Name mix up – sorry. But the rest was just a comment!

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 10:35 am

      I haven’t heard of Dwyer before but I guess I need to check it out!

      • Sarah August 15, 2011, 1:32 pm

        Thank you Caitlin. I’ll check my library for Dwyer books. I’ve checked for your OB book , but its not available at library. Purchasing books are not an option unfortunately.

  • Hillary August 14, 2011, 1:56 pm

    Love this. I’m constantly seeking positive feedback from other people, when really, the person I should be most concerned about is myself. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Courtney Leigh August 14, 2011, 2:02 pm

    Oh son of a … Welcome to the universe’s campaign against my neurosis.

    Pretty much everywhere I turn this week there have been signs that I need to value how I see myself more than how others see me. Way to drive the final nail. 🙂

  • Heather @ Bake, Run, Live August 14, 2011, 2:05 pm

    Caitlin, thank you for the beautiful post. Sadly a lot of us (myself included), need to be reminded that we are worth it. That we are beautiful (inside & out), strong, smart, and special. To learn to love ourselves is often a difficult, and lifelong, experience.

  • Lauren August 14, 2011, 2:13 pm

    This was exactly what I needed to read, at this moment in time. You are the best!

  • Sweet and Savvy August 14, 2011, 2:30 pm

    This is very well put, and I really needed to hear something like this today! What you do with Operation Beautiful is amazing! I want to do something like you do one day! 🙂

  • Mary @ Bites and Bliss August 14, 2011, 2:34 pm

    Wow, so true and beautiful, Caitlin! It really is amazing how much of our views on ourselves are swayed by what other people thing when it should all be based on what we think. And if it weren’t for society or all those outside expectations of what “perfect” or “beautiful” is, I’m sure each and every one of us would love ourselves unconditionally.

  • Army Amy* August 14, 2011, 2:40 pm

    Great post and so true. Without being morbid, you don’t know how long a friend or partner will be around. Now That my husband is deployed, I no longer have someone telling me everyday that I’m cute, funny, smart, whatever! Sometimes it’s hard, but I’m learning to be proud of myself without hearing it from someone else.*

  • J3nn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) August 14, 2011, 2:49 pm

    I could not agree with you more, Caitlin! I know it’s cliche to say, “love and respect yourself” — but if you are worth it and you should love yourself more than anything else in the whole world. 🙂

  • Hilary August 14, 2011, 3:13 pm

    Thank you so much for reminding me that I deserve to love myself!!! you are the BEST!!!

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 10:36 am

      no you are the best!

  • Emily August 14, 2011, 3:19 pm

    This post spoke to me so much today!! Thank you so much Caitlin 🙂 I have been trying to find my self-esteem from within lately; it’s a journey but its so worth it in the end.

  • Angie August 14, 2011, 3:21 pm

    So true on both counts.
    I’m taking a self esteem course at the moment and I’m learning so much about myself and the way I think.

  • k August 14, 2011, 3:34 pm

    great reminder. i *really* needed to see this today.

  • Shellie August 14, 2011, 3:52 pm

    One word – YES !!!!!!!

  • Abby @ Abz 'n' Oats August 14, 2011, 4:02 pm

    Thanks for this reminder! 🙂

  • Julie August 14, 2011, 4:22 pm

    Caitlyn-

    Your posts help me so much… especially this one today. I bought your operational beautiful book, love it and am passing it on to all the women in my life. I own a workout studio and bring you up often to my members.
    I just recently went into my cousins room when she wasn’t home (she is 15 and struggling so much with herself) and posted notes allllllll over her room… in her shoes, toilet, mirror, pillow, etc. She came home, saw them and has finally had a bright day. Because of your idea, I feel I can help others too. Thank you 😉

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 10:36 am

      THank you so much 🙂 This made me happy!

  • Kaitlyn (College Girl Runs) August 14, 2011, 4:32 pm

    This is seriously the post I needed to see today. Thank you so much for this!!!

  • Penny August 14, 2011, 4:41 pm

    This post another reminder as to why I love your blog so much. Thanks for the boost. 🙂

  • Allie Q (Fit Geek) August 14, 2011, 5:16 pm

    True that!

  • Molly @ RDexposed August 14, 2011, 5:25 pm

    Preach it, girl!

  • Sophie August 14, 2011, 5:47 pm

    I love this more than I can say, it really hits home.
    For years I’ve been battling with poor self-esteem and reading this helps to remind me what I’m trying to acheive. You have always been an inspiration to me Caitlin, thank you for writing such fantastic posts!

  • Courtney August 14, 2011, 6:35 pm

    I’ve never commented before – but this was exactly the message I needed today and just wanted to say THANK YOU!! Your blog is so positive and real.

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 10:37 am

      🙂 Thank you for reading!

  • Annette @ EnjoyYourHealthyLife August 14, 2011, 7:03 pm

    I love this! Self esteem comes from within, and that is power! Which then breeds confidence. Love it!

  • Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin August 14, 2011, 7:13 pm

    Well put Caitlin!

  • Mary August 14, 2011, 7:15 pm

    I’ve never really thought of this this way, But it’s true! Well put.

  • Debbie August 14, 2011, 7:44 pm

    A healthy self-esteem isn’t developed, it is received. We accept ourselves because God accepted us first.

    • Dana August 14, 2011, 9:07 pm

      Agreed!

    • CaitlinHTP August 14, 2011, 9:08 pm

      I like this – such a beautiful thought!!!

  • Meredith August 14, 2011, 8:17 pm

    Fabulous reminder Caitlin! I always appreciate your positive messages :).

  • Tricia August 14, 2011, 8:20 pm

    Thank you Caitlin!!!! I have had an emotional day today and really needed to read this at this exact moment. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful reminder with us:)

  • Rachel August 14, 2011, 8:59 pm

    thank you for this <3

  • Lisa (bakebikeblog) August 14, 2011, 9:36 pm

    What a beautiful post!

  • Staci August 14, 2011, 10:10 pm

    Thank you, for the reminder. My self-esteem is in the toilet – dealing with an icky divorce and feeling like I’ve failed miserably. But, I hope someday, I will realize that I am special and important. We all are.

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 10:38 am

      You are succeeding at so many things, I bet. Your marriage doesn’t make or break you. You are wonderful!!!

  • Katie August 14, 2011, 10:36 pm

    Thank you for this! I’ve been having a “why don’t they like my cooking???” sort of day, where every snide remark about the meal is taken personally. This post has reminded me that while my husband supports me in being vegan,it doesn’t mean he’s going to enjoy every animal free meal – and thats okay! He misses cheese, but he still loves me. Lame I know, but thank you anyway for the much needed reminder.

  • Danielle August 15, 2011, 1:06 am

    Thank you so much for the reminder! I needed to hear this today.

  • Brittany August 15, 2011, 9:27 am

    I agree with this whole-heartedly. It becomes an issue though when other people tell you that they don’t need to praise or compliment you because you’ve got enough self confidence without it. That’s true, but it doesn’t hurt to compliment people for the amazing things they do. Even strangers. You are amazing!

  • Kimberly August 15, 2011, 10:28 am

    *LOVE*

  • Gianna August 15, 2011, 11:34 am

    I’m a daily reader but this is my first time commenting. I feel really moved to tell you how much your blog inspires me! I love how you wrote that the way others see us is skewed by their perception of themselves- so true! Since reading your blog and purchasing the operation beautiful book, I’ve been practicing telling myself I’m beautiful and reminding myself of my self-worth each day. So…thank you for being such an inspirational light in my life!

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 12:54 pm

      Thank you so much!

  • Amber K August 15, 2011, 12:17 pm

    Such a great message. For some reason I need these boosts to remember such key things. I feel like I should know this already, but I forget far too often. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Amy August 15, 2011, 1:26 pm

    I love this! Saw it on the mirror at Y2 yesterday and it made my day. Thank you!

    • CaitlinHTP August 15, 2011, 1:34 pm

      <3 yay! we should go to a class together sometime.

  • Amy August 15, 2011, 1:41 pm

    Absolutely- I would love that!!

  • Dana August 16, 2011, 9:57 am

    I saw this today on my Pandora (it’s a nike ad) and had to come back and comment on this post…

    You are entirely up to you.
    Make your body.
    Make your life.

    Make Yourself.

  • Shayla @ The Good Life August 16, 2011, 7:47 pm

    Love love this and so needed to hear this today. Thank you Caitlin and this is why I will always love your blog so much 🙂

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