Happy 28 weeks, BabyHTP!

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Truthfully (and I know this sounds so superficial), the most exciting baby-related part of this past week was going shopping for new maternity clothes.  It’s hot as heck in Charlotte, and squeezing into my pre-pregnancy tanks, floaty tops, and shorts is just not an option.  Times (and body parts) have changed, my friends. 

 

Case in point:

4w5d (2) 28 weeks pregnant

I absolutely hate clothing shopping, but Nicole was nice enough to accompany me to Motherhood Maternity, and she made the entire experience so much more pleasant.   I walked away with 8 new tops and 3 bottoms.  It’s nice to actually have clothes that fit (and I didn’t blow too much cash because Motherhood Maternity has a ‘value mom’ section <—that’s me!). 

 

Here’s what BabyHTP is up to this week: “By this week, your baby weighs 2.25 pounds and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She’s also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.” (Source)

 

The one not-so-exciting part of this past week is that I have developed constant heartburn.  That’s because “during pregnancy, the placenta produces the hormone progesterone, which relaxes the smooth muscles of the uterus. This hormone also relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach, allowing gastric acids to seep back up.” (Source).  Awesome.  I can’t link the heartburn back to any food in particular – so I think it’s just a nasty side effect of pregnancy – but I would love a few suggestions for natural heartburn remedies.  Any ideas?

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(The flowers in Charlotte are SO pretty right now but the entire city is covered in pollen – you can even see a yellow smear of pollen on the front of my trousers in that picture!)

 

This week, I thought it would be fun to talk a bit about parenting.  The Husband and I have both given a lot of thought – separately and together – about our planned parenting style.  More than anything, I want to teach my children to develop self-develop confidence, have respect and tolerance for others, and act with grace and good manners.  But how, exactly, I plan to do this is a mystery.  I’ve been thinking about what my parents did for me and the specific techniques that I play to copy.  So, I thought it would be fun to list six parenting lessons my parents taught me.

 

Lesson #1:  Take a deep breath before reacting.  When I was 18, my mom was moving from Miami to Knoxville, so I flew down to Miami to help her move.  The day before the move, we were driving our second car (an old Honda) to the dealership to transfer the title to a buyer.  I was driving my mom’s nearly new Acura, and she was following me in the Honda.  I missed a turn, so I pulled into a totally empty Wal-Mart parked lot to pop a U-Turn.  I made a sharp turn in the lot without paying attention and slammed her car into a concrete pole.  Yes, I practically totaled her car in an empty lot.  And she saw the whole thing happen because she was right behind me!  I fell out of the car, choking on the air bag dust and sobbing hysterically – I couldn’t believe I had crashed her day the day before the move.  I was so sure she was going to kill me.  Heck, I would’ve killed me!  But instead, she ran up to me, gave me a hug, and asked me if I was okay.  I will never forget that awesome parenting.  It really was an accident – a dumb and totally preventable accident – and my mom realized that there was no need to yell… I was already punishing myself.  I can’t imagine the amount of patience she must have exerted in that moment.

 

Lesson #2: Share your hobby with your children but don’t push it on them.  DadHTP loved to cycle.  He would often go on 200 mile rides on Sundays.  So, naturally, he was excited to get his daughter into cycling, too.  So he bought a tandem bike, and after a few shorter test rides, popped 8 year-old me on the back and set off on a 60-mile ride.  I honestly thought I was going to die of boredom.  It was torture.  I refused to get back on that bike and didn’t express an interest in cycling for another 15 years.  Lesson learned!  I’d love to have children who are interested in cooking or sports, but I need to introduce these things slowly and in moderation.

 

Lesson #3:  Your kid might hate you for being strict, but it’s for the best.  MomHTP wasn’t very strict, but DadHTP sure was (my parents divorced when I was 7 so I had different rules at different houses).  When I was a teenager, I hated how strict my dad was – I had to be home at 11 PM when I was 17, I couldn’t stay in a hotel the night of my senior homecoming (Dad wasn’t dumb), and I couldn’t get in the car when my friends were driving.  Once he realized that my peer group was ‘experimenting with alcohol,’ he would make me wake him up when I got home and breathe on him to prove that I hadn’t been boozing!  Brushed teeth meant I was automatically grounded.  It drove me crazy as a teen, but you know what?  It really kept me out of trouble and away from the ‘wrong crowd.’  I’m sure such strictness would backfire with certain children, but it worked for me… well, at least until I got to college.

 

Lesson #4:  Asking twice is nagging.  When I was a teen, I worked as a cashier at a grocery store.  The thing I observed most often was that parents nearly ALWAYS gave into nagging.  All the kid had to do was ask for a candy bar four or five times, and the parent would throw the treat in the cart.  My parents had a rule that “asking twice is nagging.”  I never dared ask for anything twice.  The answer was either yes, no, or “I’ll think about it,” which meant, “I’ll let you know what my answer is when I’m ready.”  As I result, I never, ever nagged.  I knew better!

 

Lesson #5: Every moment is a learning opportunity.  The constant from my childhood was this: my parents were always teaching me.  When we were in the car, my dad would ask me to read billboards out loud to him.  We listened to National Public Radio when I was 10.  My mom created an amazing dress-up box filled with all sorts of costumes and encouraged me to act out my favorite books and songs.  MomHTP and I would watch Dawson’s Creek together, and she would use the situations on the show as a springboard for discussions about premarital sex and relationships (embarrassing but helpful).  I have very, very few memories of just zoning out in front of the TV by myself as a child.  My parents really made an effort to constantly engage my brain in one way or the other, and I’m really grateful for that.

 

Lesson #6:  Parents can be cool.  I really thought both MomHTP and DadHTP were cool when I was growing up.  Mom took me on tons of fun outings (like thrifting!), and Dad got me certified to SCUBA dive when I was 12 (so awesome!).  Maybe it was because I was an only child and my parents were divorced, but I spent a lot of time with them doing things that we both enjoyed.  My parents weren’t perfect, but I hope I can be half the parents they were to me. 

 

And yes… I will make my teen breathe on me when he come back from hanging out with friends.   You’ve been warned, BabyHTP.  Don’t mess with your momma.

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Here’s Week 28 in bullet form:

 

  • Total Pounds Gained:  Up 23 pounds.
  • Workouts:  Lots of walking!  A 2.5, 3.5, and 2.0 mile walk.  I also hit up the pool for a swim.
  • Baby-related Purchases:  I bought a bra extender so I can actually breathe in my bras – my ribcage is expanding!
  • Eating Habits:  Definitely gotten better about eating more protein (per Bradley Method recommendations).  I’m up to about 75 grams a day.  I don’t notice a difference in my energy levels but I know it’s doing BabyHTP all sorts of good.
  • Happy News: My BFF is also pregnant and only eight weeks behind me.  She found out yesterday that she is having a little girl!  I am so happy for her and her husband.
  • Moans and Groans:  My back and hips hurt all the time.  I feel 85 years old.

 

What lessons – good or bad – did your parents teach you?

{ 121 comments }

 

  • Hillary March 21, 2012, 2:30 pm

    My dad was also super strict when I was in high school, something that I hated at the time but am appreciative of now. We also did a lot of talking in my house: we talked about our days, about current events, politics, religion. I’m currently reading a book for one of my grad classes on parenting styles among different socioeconomic classes, and apparently this is a KEY component of middle-class parenting. My parents obliged, and now I feel like I can pretty much carry on a conversation with anyone!

  • Laura @ She Eats Well March 21, 2012, 2:30 pm

    Oh man. So many good lessons I learned from my parents.

    Education is important. Always be curious to learn, in both traditional and non-traditional settings.

    Have empathy and show compassion for others. Try to imagine how others feel before you judge; put yourself in their shoes. This one lesson will go far.

    And chores. I’m thankful my parents instilled responsibility in me at a young age, even though most of the time, I complained about having to do chores. It’s made me a better roommate, more organized person. And when I got to college and none of my roommates knew how to clean the bathroom…I was shocked, and thankful.

  • Sarah March 21, 2012, 2:32 pm

    Heartburn:

    Try not to eat or drink for 2-3 hours before bed.

    Sleeping on your left side is best (the esophagus bends a bit up that way).

    Eat slowly, chew thoroughly. Eat frequent, small meals.

    Experiment with drinking more/less water with your meals (I’ve heard it go either way, more diluted acid is good, or bad).

    Don’t STRESS! <– Impossible I'm sure with you moving and all!

  • Sarah March 21, 2012, 2:34 pm

    Baking soda and apple cider vinegar are both natural remedies for heartburn (not together ;)).

    I don’t have pregnancy related heartburn, but my doc suggested lots and lots of water to help “water” down the acid.

    • Kristin March 21, 2012, 11:25 pm

      Almonds are great for helping heartburn.

  • Carlee March 21, 2012, 2:34 pm

    Love your parenting philosophy. You sound right in tune with how I was raised and how we plan on raising our Baby PR. As a middle school teacher, I know that these types of parenting decisions will make such a big difference when they start to become more independent!

  • Amanda March 21, 2012, 2:36 pm

    I love the asking twice is nagging concept!

    I think one of the best things my parents did when we were growing up is that they made a decision and stuck to it. If we were grounded for 2 weeks, we were grounded for 2 weeks. Nothing we did would change that. I think that is a good lesson for the real world. People aren’t going to bend the rules for you whenever you beg.

  • Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) March 21, 2012, 2:37 pm

    Aw the joys of parenting. I think it really is the hardest thing ever, but I love it. My kids are like night and day too so parenting styles are different for both of the. We have the same rules for both, but the way we parent is definitely different. I like being close to my kids. They are mine and my husband’s best friends, so this does make it even harder when I have to practice tough love. Parenting is definitely a roll with the punches kind of thing, but both parents have to be on the same page or things get weird. Sounds like you two have things covered. You look great Caitlin. The little one is definitely growing!

    • HTPDad March 21, 2012, 2:44 pm

      “They are mine and my husband’s best friends, ”

      Sorry – your kids don’t need – or want you to be their friends. Be the adults in the room – they can’t depend on their friends to feed and clothe them, but they HAVE to depend on you. Don’t worry – when they’re in their 20s you can be friends – but now, be the boss. And strict.

      • CaitlinHTP March 21, 2012, 2:45 pm

        I think it depends on the kiddo!

      • Jen March 21, 2012, 5:15 pm

        I have to agree with HTPDad on this one. The kids I knew growing up who were friends with their parents were the ones who got into the most trouble — drugs, alcohol, shoplifting, etc. — because the parents would simply write their behavior off as something teens do (and maybe even share an anecdote of when they did the same thing).

        The ones (like me) who knew their parents would enforce discipline were too afraid to try that sort of stuff.

        • Jenna March 21, 2012, 8:13 pm

          I think i definitely depends on the kid. Some need more discipline than others. Personally, my mom is my absolute best friend and I love it. We’ve always been super close and I would never change that. Just because she’s my best friend doesn’t mean I get into trouble. I’ve never smoked, I don’t drink, I dont party, and I always got straight A’s. It’s definitely possible to be your kid’s best friend and I’m glad my mom is mine.

          • MelanieF March 22, 2012, 6:11 pm

            I would also say it depends on the kid, but I also agree with HTPDad on this point. I think that being best friends with you kids is not wrong, but you need to show who’s the boss and who makes the rules. My mom is my best friend now (I’m 35), but growing up she was my mom and my dad was my dad and they made the rules.

  • Sunny March 21, 2012, 2:41 pm

    I love the breathing on the parents rule, my husband’s parents had that rule and I intend to steal it. I kind of wish my parents had had it because then they would have known I wasn’t up to anything. 😉

  • Kelley March 21, 2012, 2:41 pm

    Your bump is SO cute! I love that shirt!

    Heartburn has been the WORST part for me. It’s really the only bad side effect I’ve had, but man, it’s bad!

    Tums work temporarily for me. Good luck!

  • Beth @ 990 Square March 21, 2012, 2:42 pm

    I think the biggest parenting lesson I learned (and hope to one day apply) from my parents is that its good for parents to still be adults and not live totally kid centric lives. Not that my parents weren’t good parents (they were, and still are!) but they always seemed to maintain adult activities, friends, and at gatherings had “adult time” that the kids were sent away from. I think it helped us to entertain ourselves and realize that we aren’t the center of the universe!

    • Beth @ 990 Square March 21, 2012, 2:43 pm

      Ps–I think it looks like you have a girl bump! But it’s harder to judge from a picture!

    • HTPDad March 21, 2012, 3:23 pm

      +1

  • Courtney @ Translating Nutrition March 21, 2012, 2:42 pm

    I have a very similar patience story with my mom. When I was a teenager I crashed our one car into our other car in our driveway. Horribly embarrassing. But she was so patient, and made me deal with the consequences (paying for the damage) but didn’t scream or yell at any point. Nor did she make me feel bad about it. When she laughed about it so did I, and we all felt better (even though I still feel stupid about that one). God bless good moms 🙂

  • Marissa C March 21, 2012, 2:47 pm

    Heartburn sucks! The good news is it goes away right after you give birth. I tried tums, but eventually had to break down and live off Zantec 75 for the last 2 weeks.

    PS…check out Gap Maternity’s clearance rack. I found some GREAT items there.

  • Samantha March 21, 2012, 2:48 pm

    It sounds like you have a set of pretty amazing parents. I hope I can be like mine too — they’re divorced as well, and my mom was the strict one while my dad wasn’t. Biggest parenting lesson? It sounds cliche, but you have to work for what you want. My mom ALWAYS made me earn whatever I wanted and I don’t get handed things for free. It really helped me develop a sense of confidence in my skills and learn the value of everything, not just money.

  • Annette @ EnjoyYourHealthyLife March 21, 2012, 2:50 pm

    Oh wow–your mom was SO patient in that time! My mom would’ve been similar too. SHe is a saint!

    My parents are pretty strict, but also lenient–that awesome combo helped us be independent while also being moral and on the ‘right’ path. Being religious and going to church has helped my entire family be successful, happy, content, educated, and really joyous. I am SO thankful for that learning that was taught me and reinforced-from church-by my parents at home (gospel principles)!

  • Alyse March 21, 2012, 2:51 pm

    I’ve had heartburn for years and managed it with pills. When I decided that wasn’t cool anymore I started drinking apple cider vinegar with water (my mom also did this while growing my brother.) ALSO, if you are lying in bed, lay on your left side, if you can, I don’t know how prego people should sleep. It closes your flappy thing above your esophagus. AND, milk helps me, soy, almond, cow, coconut, doesn’t matter.

    I was going through your race recaps and got to the last one and thought, “Damn, Caitlin needs to drop this kid so I can read more recaps.” Selfish?

    • Sarah March 21, 2012, 6:06 pm

      Can second the apple cider vinegar – used to work when I wasn’t pregnant. But pregnancy is a whole new reflux ball game….

      Take the drugs 😉

    • Lauren @ therawcure March 22, 2012, 5:09 pm

      I drink 2 TBSPS of apple cider vinegar in about 24 oz of water, and it really helps.

  • Becca March 21, 2012, 2:51 pm

    Parenting is such a huge responsibility and it sounds like you are going to do a fantastic job 🙂 it’s great that you have talked about issues that are important to focus on. When I was growing up, I would say my parents were strict when they needed to be. For example it was always important for them to know where I was going, who I would be with and when I would be home. Manners were also very big in our house. It seems like so many parents want to be best friends with their children that they forget it’s their responsibility to set the rules.

  • Jessica @ The Process of Healing March 21, 2012, 2:51 pm

    I never got into partying/drinking until I was actually legal (my parents were very lucky) but having your teenage son/daughter breathe on you is SUCH a good idea!!! And your parents sound a lot like mine, I’m a single child of separated parents as well.. my childhood was definitely a lot different than my friends with the “traditional” families.

  • Jolene (Homespun Heritage) March 21, 2012, 2:51 pm

    No way! My poor husband did the SAME thing but with our little girl in the car at the time (she was 4 or 5). He ended up with some bad burns on his arm/neck from the airbag and thousands of dollars of damage to his new SUV. My daughter ended up with seatbelt burn from her carseat. It could have been so much worse. Its something we don’t talk about much.

  • Sarah @ See Sarah Eat March 21, 2012, 2:53 pm

    My parents were pretty strict with me too and I HATED it, especially when I was a teenager. Now I thank them, as often as possible for keeping me safe and out of trouble 😉

  • Charity March 21, 2012, 2:55 pm

    Your dad is a genius! The breathing on thing is a fantastic idea, we shall be using that one as well. Just a question, what were the consequences if you asked for something twice?

    • CaitlinHTP March 21, 2012, 2:57 pm

      Removal of privileges. Swift and immediate!

    • shelly March 21, 2012, 3:30 pm

      My dad was really good about making sure my brother and I didn’t beg when we went to the store with him. Basically, if we didn’t beg *at all* during the trip, we got a treat of his choosing. If we begged- no treat. So while I may have preferred m&m’s over the peanut brittle dad decided to get us, I’d rather have peanut brittle than nothing- and usually it gave dad a chance to introduce us to something he thought we’d like.
      Of course, we begged for everyone else (especially grandma!) b/c no one else was as good as dad about consistently sticking to that rule!

  • Christine @ BookishlyB March 21, 2012, 3:00 pm

    As a high school teacher I really try to stick to a lot of your above parenting rules. Especially the taking a deep breath one (kids totally don’t respect yellers) and being strict (they seem to like me still). I guess it’s good preparation for parenthood one day!

  • Kate @ ibrokemyumbrella March 21, 2012, 3:00 pm

    I love all those parenting moves because they’re pretty simple, but I think it makes a difference. I can’t definitely relate to having a strict parent. My mom was always “that mom” that was enforcing her rules on everyone, and there were times I was sure that I hated her, but I can see now that it really was for the best. It’s not easy or popular to stand your ground, but it’s worth it.

  • Linz @ Itz Linz March 21, 2012, 3:01 pm

    You are ALL belly and so adorable!!! My parents encouraged a very healthy lifestyle and that has stuck with me. I think that is immeasurable because it truly sets the pathway for the rest of one’s life. They involved me in TONS of sports and dance and as I got older they let me choose what I wanted to participate in. They were also big fans of home cooking vs. going out or fast food. 🙂

  • Tanya @ Vegan Faith March 21, 2012, 3:04 pm

    Love that shirt! So cute, and great parenting advice!

  • Samantha March 21, 2012, 3:05 pm

    I am 18 weeks along and already suffering from awful heartburn. Although my doctor has approved for me to take tums or chewable pepcid, I asked her if there were any other home remedies I could try first. She told me a teaspoon of honey by itself, especially if you eat close to bed time can really help – and it actually does. Additionally, she mentioned to me that if I eat something every hour…even just a handful of pretzels or some baby carrots…just small snacks, that the stomach will not have time to produce such a large amount of acid, so eating smaller amounts but more frequently has really helped as well. Good luck!

  • Katie @ Peace Love & Oats March 21, 2012, 3:05 pm

    I like that you’ve really taken the time to think out some parenting skills that you plan to use! I never thought of that as something to do! Lol not that I’ll be having children any time soon.

  • Laine March 21, 2012, 3:07 pm

    My parents drank “good” beer, Sam Adams. They would give me sips of it when I was a teen. So when I went to parties and they were all drinking Bud Light, I wouldn’t drink it because it was disgusting. Stealth parenting!
    My mom also told me that if people were drinking and I didn’t want to, I could just take a beer and nurse it or dump it and fill the can with water and no one would know (which I actually did back then!)

    My dad took us hiking from the time we were small and I always think that’s one of the best things they did. Also – making sure we all learned how to swim and ride bikes (I have friends who can’t do either.)

    You are looking great!! And I love those parenting lessons from your parents.

    • CaitlinHTP March 21, 2012, 3:20 pm

      Love this. LOL

  • Brie March 21, 2012, 3:07 pm

    Dairy for the heartburn! Milk and even ice cream helped my best friend a lot.

  • Rebecca March 21, 2012, 3:09 pm

    I love your #3 and #4. It’s better (and easier) to start off strict and slowly lighten up than it is to start off with no control and try to gain it all back all at one time. And if my sister or I threw tantrums (very rarely), Mom and Dad would ignore it. What we wanted was the attention and for them to give in, and they knew it.
    One other thing I learned was to never interrupt. If I wanted my parents’ attention while they were talking, I had to stand there and wait for them to acknowledge me instead of interrupting the conversation. I still do that; stand and wait for people to notice that I’m there. Sometimes it takes a while and they don’t seem to realize I’m waiting for them to stop talking, but … oh well.

    I didn’t go out much at all (still don’t), and I never got into the drinking/partying crowd. The only parties I ever went to were birthday parties. I’m not going to drink even when I’m legal in about a week. My parents never worried about me much. My sister’s a bit more of a problem sometimes…

  • Kristie March 21, 2012, 3:10 pm

    I’m only a week and a half behind you, and just started getting heartburn this week, too! I’ve been trying to sip on almond milk whenever I get it. It seems to help for a while. Also, don’t lay down or move around too vigorously for an hour or so after eating.

  • SaraJoan March 21, 2012, 3:13 pm

    The one parenting thing I remember really clearly from my teen years is this: give you kids an easy out. Around the time I started spending more time out with friends and having to make some hard decisions (drinking, etc) on my own, my mom said something to the effect of, “If you’re ever in a situation and you don’t want to do something you’re being encouraged to do, it’s okay to blame us for you not doing it.” Simple, but it gave me an out and I used it! “Sorry, I can’t, my folks would kill me!”

    • Liz March 21, 2012, 3:33 pm

      My parents did this too!!!

    • Julie @Savvy Eats March 21, 2012, 6:21 pm

      My parents told my sister and I the same thing: “It is okay to make us the bad guys when you don’t feel comfortable with something your friends are doing!”

      • Jess March 22, 2012, 6:16 am

        My parents gave me a cell phone at a young age (13) and made sure I always had credit. If I was ever in a situation that I wasn’t comfortable about (like drug use at a party) I was told to leave, call them and they would come and pick me up. Any time, day or night, no questions asked. I only had to use this once, but it was nice knowing I had the support if I needed it. It allowed me to get out and do what teens do without ever feeling like I was trapped in a bad situation.

  • Anne Weber-Falk March 21, 2012, 3:13 pm

    My parents did a fine job raising my sister and I but they had a spare the rod spoil the child form of discipline so there was some fear there if you did something wrong or were naughty. I think my parenting style is a lot like your parents’. My three are turning into fine young men and women and that makes me feel good. You know you’re doing something right when people come up to you to tell you how nice your children are. Yay!
    Hey, I was always told that a lot of heartburn means you’ll have a red-headed(!)child.

    • HTPDad March 21, 2012, 3:28 pm

      not that you asked, but beyond a light swat on the butt until they’re 2, hitting a kid is child abuse.

      • Clare March 21, 2012, 4:35 pm

        Well, legally you are allowed to hit your children without it being considered child abuse. I live in California and am a mandated reporter, and for something to count as child abuse it has to leave a mark/bruise/injury. I don’t agree with that at all, but it is totally legal for a parent to slap/hit/kick etc. their child, at any age unfortunately :(.

        • CaitlinHTP March 21, 2012, 4:38 pm

          REALLY?! That seems insane to me. I mean, if you slap another adult, it’s assault. Whoa. Learn something new every day.

          • Laura March 21, 2012, 5:37 pm

            In New Zealand, it’s illegal even to smack a child. It came in as a law a few years ago and is still very controversial (people have literally been taken to court for smacking their kids on the butt in the supermarket during a tantrum). But we unfortunately have horrendous rates of child abuse in this country, so I think any and all measures that will help are a good idea.

          • Jess March 22, 2012, 6:21 am

            Actually in NZ we just removed the line ‘reasonable force’ from the law on smacking children. People were literally beating their children and then in court arguing that it was using ‘reasonable force’, which was allowed. So smacking isn’t illegal, as such, it is just now harder for actual child abusers to defend their actions. We do have awful child abuse rates here, which I have seen firsthand as I work with children in ‘poorer’ areas, which are typically the ones with higher rates of child abuse. And before anyone jumps on me about child abuse happening anywhere, I totally agree, which is why I said typically, not always.

  • Whitney March 21, 2012, 3:13 pm

    Super cute baby update!! My mom and I also watched Dawson’s Creek together and we would always cry together during the dramatic parts ha!

    The most important thing my parents taught me was how to be healthy, excercise and take care of myself. They instilled in my sister and I at a young age that it is very important to be active and healthy. They were very active before having kids. They ran races, bowled, Disco competitions(!), etc. They put us in every single sport and let us decide which one we wanted to pursue further which was basketball and both my sister and I ended up playing basketball in college on full scholarships and we owe it all to our parents.

    Sorry to get so long-winded but it makes me sad when all kids do is play video games and eat junk. I really feel sorry for when I have kids because they will not have a choice but to be active! 🙂

  • Kattrina March 21, 2012, 3:16 pm

    I just went shopping for maternity clothes too! My mom manages a Motherhood Maternity so she gets a big discount. I was up visiting her this past weekend and we went on a huge shopping spree. It has been great having more than 5 outfits to wear to work. I think I officially have more maternity clothes than regular clothes now!

    Great parenting advice! One thing that my mom always did was tell me before I entered a store, how I should act. For example, if we went to a toy store to buy something for someone else, before we entered the store she’d explain what we were doing there and tell me whether I could have something or not. If she said no then I wasn’t allowed to ask for anything. Same with the grocery store – she’d tell me I could pick out one food item from a certain aisle and that was it. I’m not sure how, but it worked. I never asked for things in the store unless I was told beforehand that I was allowed. I also always knew how to act – i.e. she’d tell me I’d have to sit in the cart the entire time or that I had to hold her hand, etc. I will definitely be doing that with my kids!

  • Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat March 21, 2012, 3:21 pm

    First, you make SUCH a cute pregnant lady! And second, I love these life lessons. You mentioned sharing your hobby with your kids, and this one stuck out for me. My dad was in the paralympics for swimming and got me into competitive swimming when I was 9. I liked it more for the social aspect, but didn’t love the actual competing part. It took a while for my parents to let me stop when they realized I wasn’t happy about it (I realize they’d already committed $ to it so I understand why now) but like you said, they didn’t force me to keep going and going when I wasn’t getting as much enjoyment out of it any more. I hope my future kids are athletic, but I don’t plan to force them into it either.

  • Bec March 21, 2012, 3:29 pm

    I have chronic heartburn and can’t even blame pregnancy. A shot of apple cider vinegar can help!

  • shelly March 21, 2012, 3:32 pm

    One thing my mom and dad did for me that was awesome was if I ever got invited to a situation that I didn’t feel comfortable with (a coed sleepover springs to mind) I could just tell my friends I couldn’t go b/c I was grounded. And if my friends ever asked my mom if I was grounded, she was like “Yep.” It was nice to have a way out sometimes that didn’t make me look “uncool.”

  • Miranda March 21, 2012, 3:33 pm

    I’m glad that your dad feels he’s the authority on parenting. Nobody asked his opinion and his comments were rather rude.

    • Jess March 22, 2012, 6:29 am

      +1. Every child needs different parenting styles, it is not a one size fits all model. Dad HTP’s style worked with you, and thats great, but it could have gone pear shaped with another child. Just my opinion.

  • Anna March 21, 2012, 3:36 pm

    Ummm, is your BFF another blogger who had a doctor’s appt yesterday?? I’m super excited now…You guys are my celebrities….

    • CaitlinHTP March 21, 2012, 3:37 pm

      Haha, aww thanks. Nope, my BFF Sarah is not a blogger. 🙂 She hates social media. LOL

  • Sara March 21, 2012, 3:44 pm

    You look great, Caitlin! I love all your tips. I was an only child too and I feel like my parents were always doing something with me too. My parents were fairly strict, but I think they had their reasons. I hope I can be half as good of parents as mine were too! (When the time comes.) P.S. you always have such great clothes (and I hate shopping too btw) … but you look great pregnant. It just really suits some people and I think it suits you! Yay!

  • Sara March 21, 2012, 3:47 pm

    Oh and ginger for the heartburn. I read that somewhere!

  • Katie P March 21, 2012, 3:56 pm

    I’ve heard excellent things about acupuncture for heartburn. If it starts to act up this pregnancy I’ll be going to that method first!!

  • Stephanie @ Legally Blinde March 21, 2012, 3:59 pm

    Whoa, that’s wild that the baby can see light filtering through your belly – I had no idea! I love learning all these interesting little facts. Wow, 200 mile bike rides in one day??? Intense!! I love the “twice is nagging” rule – that’s such a smart thing to implement. And I’m so impressed by the way your parents used so many events as learning opportunities; that’s really awesome. You’re going to be such a great mom 🙂

  • Moni Meals March 21, 2012, 4:03 pm

    You look so AMAZING! I just got really happy for you and to think your BF is going to go through it too with you, even better!

    great life lesssons! I am still working on many, haha!

  • KaraHadley March 21, 2012, 4:07 pm

    The whole nagging thing definitely goes both ways. As a kid (and a teenager) I always felt like my mom was nagging me because she’d give me chores to do for the day or the weekend or whatever and “remind me” at least half a dozen times THAT MORNING! It drove me crazy and lead to may fights and me saying that if she tells me once more I’m not doing it.
    Wasn’t I a peach?
    Anyway, that’s the only parenting lesson I’ve learned from my parents. The others come from watching Super Nanny and mainly involve proper time outs and praise.

  • Sonia the Mexigarian March 21, 2012, 4:43 pm

    I do like your parenting lessons. Good thing to file away for future reference. Especially on the nagging thing. I really dislike how parents constantly give into naggers. And I do love how any moment could be a learning experience. I learned so much from my parents and family growing up, especially about the out doors. It instilled a lot of love in me for nature 🙂

    When I was a kid we got spanked and then told to sit in our corner. As did the majority of my friends. I had no issues with it and grew up just fine.

  • Rachel Starr March 21, 2012, 4:49 pm

    I suffered major heartburn with both pregnancies, so I sympathize with you! Literally everything gave me heartburn. My mom’s heartburn remedy was a tablespoon or 2 of apple cider vinegar. Vinegar literally makes me gag & want to vomit. So my doc put me on Prilosec & it did the trick.

  • Helene @healthyfrenchie March 21, 2012, 4:51 pm

    Some aloe vera juice swallowed before bed does wonder to fight heartburn 🙂

    The one thing I’ll take from my parents, is that it’s good to be strict and have boundaries. Also teach your kids to be independent, and occupy themselves.
    I’m sure you guys will do a great job!

  • Lisa March 21, 2012, 4:58 pm

    You look so cute! You’re *definitely* pregnant. And the flowers are pretty too. I have no advice. Never had heartburn or babies! 🙂

  • Kelly March 21, 2012, 5:05 pm

    I can’t believe that you just now purchased maternity clothes and you are 28 weeks pregnant!!

  • Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed March 21, 2012, 5:13 pm

    I love your parenting philosophies! I think one of the best things my parents did was keep the communication lines open. I could always talk about everything with my parents, thus I had no reason to hide things.

  • Calla March 21, 2012, 5:19 pm

    I’d love to have that striped shirt in a non-maternity size! So cute! You look great.

    Three parenting tips (based on my childhood as I don’t have kids):

    -One of my mom’s favourite parenting tricks was that she and Dad never said the word “bored” themselves. Because of that, my siblings and I were pretty old by the time we found out about the concept of being bored (and she didn’t have to listed to three kids whining “I’m booooooooooored” nearly as much as most parents do).

    -My brother is the youngest and he was a really difficult kid. My sister and I were pretty obedient, so our parents weren’t really prepared for how to deal with him. One problem I always saw in their parenting him was that they wouldn’t follow through on their punishment threats – for example, they would say “if you do X again, Y will happen”. He would do X again and ultimately Y never happened. I think this is really important – he never took their threats seriously and he basically just did whatever he wanted with no repercussions.

    Finally, and this is kind of related to the Naked Face project but fits here too: I am completely on board with the discourse that parents need to praise their children for things other than their looks (even though it’s so easy to just say “you’re so pretty/cute/handsome!”). Yes. 100%. I just think it’s also important to sometimes tell kids that they are pretty/cute/handsome/somehow not unattractive. My parents went too far in the other direction and never complimented our appearances, and it had really bad effects on my and my sister’s body images and overall self-images.

    • Laura March 21, 2012, 5:42 pm

      “I just think it’s also important to sometimes tell kids that they are pretty/cute/handsome/somehow not unattractive.”

      I agree. Genuine compliments are always a self-esteem boost. If my family complimented something about my appearance, I didn’t take that to mean that that was all they valued about me.

      My Nana was just telling us yesterday about a woman she knows who was literally sent to boarding school at the age of nine because her mother didn’t think she was attractive enough to have at home. O_o The mother recently died, and the woman found out that, despite the fact that she looked after her through her invalid years, her mother had left all of her money to the woman’s brothers instead. Largely because this woman wasn’t as beautiful a daughter as her mother had hoped for.

      So, yes, I definitely think there’s a happy medium between praising positive attributes that have nothing to do with looks (or even smarts – I think it’s more important to promote being a good person) and still letting your kids know that you think they’re physically attractive people!

      • Sarah March 21, 2012, 6:49 pm

        I completely agree with this. When I was little, my mom made a very active effort to give me complements that were about me as a person, and not about my looks. The problem with being so polarized in that area is that kids are exposed to a world that is focussed on appearances and beauty at a young age. They go to preschool, and other girls are talking about looking pretty, and other people are giving complements about appearances. So one day when I was four, I came home to my mom bawling and crying, “Why don’t you ever say I’m pretty???” My mom felt really bad after that and I think she started to find that happy medium. As someone who has definitely suffered with body image issues, I think that not complementing appearances ever is bad, but focussing in them too much is bad too. But even if parents find that balance like my mom did after that incident, kids may still wind up with body image issues, because parents are not the only influence in a child’s life.

        • CaitlinHTP March 21, 2012, 6:51 pm

          I am in the camp that believes that children should be praised FIRST for their achievements/personality and SECOND for their appearance. I do think it’s nice to tell everyone positive things about their appearance. I just don’t think it should be the primary message.

          • briana March 21, 2012, 7:58 pm

            This is interesting. I was actually going to say that one of the things I am so appreciative of about my parents’ parenting was how little emphasis they put on appearances. We were certainly praised, but praised for who we were as people, our accomplishments, etc. And they reinforced this by not paying particular attention to their own appearances either (though they are both quite attractive people!)

    • HTPDad March 21, 2012, 7:28 pm

      haha – when C would complain about being bored, I’d just shrug and say “not my problem – go find something to do”

  • brandalyn March 21, 2012, 5:22 pm

    Try papaya enzymes they worked for me.

  • Sue @ Sue In Training March 21, 2012, 5:23 pm

    My mom was very easy-going when I was a teen, giving me the chance to do almost anything I wanted. Turns out, when things like booze or cigarettes are not forbidden, they lose a lot of their appeal. At least they did for me.
    She also taught me how to deal with money, like think twice before you buy something, and never spend more than you have.

  • Brittnie (A Joy Renewed) March 21, 2012, 5:39 pm

    Love this post. My parents taught me SO much but one thing I always remember them repeating is “Sorry, life is not fair.” = we don’t always get what we want when we want it. I don’t know how many times they repeated this to me and my siblings while we were growing up. We grew up NOT expecting the world and realizing that sometimes life is not fair but in the end, it is OK.

  • Sarah March 21, 2012, 6:02 pm

    Sorry about the heartburn – I suffered soooooo badly from it. In the end I tried everything and I’m afraid the only thing that would work was Zantac (Ranitidine). I was awake at night otherwise and exhausted. It did work very very well though…and my boys are both robust, awesome wee dudes 😉

  • Lauren @ Sassy Molassy March 21, 2012, 6:11 pm

    I love that top, Caitlin! Target maternity section is always so cute that I end up walking into it and picking up an item that looks cute before noticing that it’s maternity. Ha!

  • Rachel March 21, 2012, 6:22 pm

    You seem to have great parents!
    My mom also hit a poll in a parking lot! I think what my mom taught me was to always treat your child like your age. When I was 5 I was treated like I was 5, when I was 10 I was treated like I was 10, when I was 16 I was treated like I was 16, and now that I am 27 I am treated like I am 27. She allowed me to grow without smothering me or overexposing me (2 problems which I think some parents have). I hated when I was 12 and couldn’t see an R-rated movie, but now that I look back on it, I think it was good parenting. She also did, like your parents, and were aware of what I was watching and would have conversations with me based on them (albeit embarrassing sometimes).

    I think the most important part of parenthood is to be involved in your child’s life and be interested in it. That way they will feel loved–and that is the most important thing!

  • Katie @ Soulshine and Sassafras March 21, 2012, 6:31 pm

    These are great parenting tips! I especially like the nagging rule. I’m tucking that away into my future parenting file.

  • Sara March 21, 2012, 6:43 pm

    For some reason, I used to get awful heartburn when I would work night shift. It would get so bad it would make me nauseous! Milk was my go-to and always did the trick for me! I hate milk and never drink it, but at times, I was desperate and milk always worked.

  • Caileigh March 21, 2012, 6:46 pm

    Unpopular opinion: I would have hated my parents forcing me to breathe on them when I got home, and I don’t think I’d appreciate now that I’m older. I think had my mom banned drinking, it would have appealed a lot more to me, and would have caused some larger issues. It also made me feel that my mom trusted me to make my own educated decisions about that. As many teenagers do, I went a little overboard once, called my mom from a party, came home sick and felt horrible. Not just physically, but because of what my mom must have thought of me. I learned my lesson though, and I’ve never gone overboard again.
    Not like I went without punishment though, I was grounded after that, for abusing my parents trust. I had a curfew, and rules to follow about going out. But my parents weren’t unrealistic, and realized teenagers were going to be teenagers.
    Besides, my mom always said she’d rather I learn my limit while living at home, then once I left for university and was all alone.
    Just my two cents.

  • Vanessa March 21, 2012, 6:57 pm

    I learned lesson #2 the exact same way that you did! An enthusiastic cyclist father, tandem, and 30 miles. I was always turning down his offers to go biking with him which made me feel totally guilty. It wasn’t until high school and college when I started to enjoy biking with him and his bike club.

  • zoe (and the beatles) March 21, 2012, 6:59 pm

    ugh sorry to hear about the heartburn issues. i developed acid reflux recently and have found a few foods to be culprits. dairy, sugar, processed and refined carbohydrates, excess chocolate, coffee, and alcohol. i doubt alcohol and coffee are your problems right now, though 😉 i am not a medicine person so when the reflux flares up, i pound water like no body’s business. water is, honestly, the only thing i have found that helps. good luck!

    • zoe (and the beatles) March 21, 2012, 7:19 pm

      OH! and spicy foods. i can’t go crazy with the sriracha anymore 🙁

  • Taylor @ Nuts for Apples March 21, 2012, 7:09 pm

    I used to get such bad heart burn! But actually, since I’ve cut out a majority of dairy in my diet, it is practically non-existent! I still have it a little but whenever I have it consistently, I get really bad heart burn again.
    Ginger is supposed to help as well!

  • Avery @ YoungAspirations March 21, 2012, 7:09 pm

    Your parents sound a lot like mine! I’m only 21, but I can already appreciate things they did when I was in high school. They were super strict as well but looking back on it I am SO glad they were! I tried to get crazy in high school, but ultimately decided that sneaking out and lying was NOT worth getting in trouble and ruining my relationship with my parents! I had a 180 turn around in high school and never went back to that path. Strict parenting paid off! 🙂

  • Effie March 21, 2012, 7:31 pm

    Ugh, the worst part of pregnancy besides the morning aka all day sickness was the heartburn. Mine was triggered by tomatoes and tomatoe sauces so pizza, spaghetti. I wish I could give you a natural cure, but I ran for the Tums mainly because mine acted up at night and well the Tums were so close and I was so tired.

    When it came to parenting, my parents were very laid back and trusted my brother and I. They knew that they had taught us to be responsible and make smart choices, but when we messed up they were there for us. I hope to have the same kind of relationship with my own son one day. Currently we are working not throwing our food on the floor. 🙂

  • Effie March 21, 2012, 7:33 pm

    By the way, For maternity clothes, try consignment stores, JC Penny, Kohls, http://www.zulily.com and http://www.totsy.com I had good luck with all of these places. Target also has cute things and recently i noticed that Ross is now carrying maternity clothes.

  • Amy March 21, 2012, 8:51 pm

    That new maternity top looks great on you!

    I have to ask, with the extreme heat, how are you keeping your hair so frizz-free [naked-face style]?

    • Caitlin March 21, 2012, 9:04 pm

      My hair is just like this (don’t hate me!!!). No products or anything.

  • Lauren @ Lawfully Wedded Wife March 21, 2012, 9:18 pm

    I get heartburn A TON and the best way to ward it off naturally, at least for me, is avoid acidic fruits (like oranges, tomatoes, and berries) and replace them with fruits like bananas and apples that might actually help your heartburn instead of making it worse. Also a little baking soda dissolved in water can work wonders (the recipe is on the back of every box! 🙂 ). Hope that helps! Heartburn SUCKS so I really hope it goes away soon for you!

  • Jes Suazo March 21, 2012, 9:23 pm

    Sounds like your parents had it together! I love the rules. 🙂 I think I will steal “asking twice is nagging!”

    When I was pregnant with Phoenix–I had constant heartburn. Basically, I ate Tums like candy all day, everyday until he was born. Not the best trick–but it worked.

  • Anne March 21, 2012, 9:47 pm

    My parents were pretty strict on us too and I Am so thankful for it!

    I LOVE the “asking twice is nagging” rule. Pure genius. I was awful about nagging when I was little. I’ll definitely remember that one for when we have kiddos. Heck, I might start using it in my classroom tomorrow 🙂

  • Katie March 21, 2012, 10:21 pm

    I love the wake up and breathe rule! My parents never made me do it….but I think they knew what was up.

  • Diana @ frontyardfoodie March 21, 2012, 10:41 pm

    I’m getting some maternity gear this week too. I have none, you heard me. 31 weeks and no maternity wear. Goodness gracious. What’s worse, is that this is my second pregnancy. hahahaha

    Anyway, my parents taught me SO much. There are a couple things I will do differently but not much, because my parents rocked. I want to show my kids what a great marriage is, I want them to spend time doing things with me that I love but just so I show them my passion, so they can find theirs and pursue it like I do.

  • Stellina @ My Yogurt Addiction March 21, 2012, 10:58 pm

    Forgive but don’t forget! Cliche but true 🙂

  • Tasha - The Clean Eating Mama March 21, 2012, 11:03 pm

    So cute! You are making me miss my baby bump… and he is now 3 1/2 years old!

  • Lexi March 22, 2012, 12:14 am

    I had horrible heartburn when I was pregnant. My doctor recommended papaya enzyme, it’s a chewable tablet found in the supplement/vitamin section of most health food stores. You chew 1-3 before meals and I found it helped. Also hear almonds help but they didn’t do much for me. Good luck!

  • Amanda Mae March 22, 2012, 12:48 am

    Coconut milk always alleviates my heartburn. I think probably because it’s really high in calcium, which is basic, which counteracts the acid in your esophagus.

  • Jen March 22, 2012, 1:44 am

    Baby has EYELASHES!!! Awww….I love eyelashes! 🙂

    Also, sounds like you were blessed with some pretty wonderful parents (I know that you will be wonderful too)!

    Hope your heartburn & aches go away! (Wish I had some tips, but will leave it to the experts above.)

  • Morgan J March 22, 2012, 8:48 am

    I just want to say that I’ve been following your blog for awhile now (maybe a yearish). I started reading mostly because I’m also from NC (triangle area), a vegetarian, and love running and though I’m not a mom or will be anytime soon I love reading your baby updates! You look amazing and I admire your hard work and dedication to your family and your business :] I wish you all the best of luck!

  • Sara March 22, 2012, 9:03 am

    Omg I love your dads alcohol breath Check! Totally using this one day! I am a hs teacher and it’s so horrifying to hear these kids talk. Drinking and random sex is pretty common among them and they are all so obsessed with social networking. I am going to not get my kid a cell phone til he or she is driving!

  • Emily March 22, 2012, 9:07 am

    Oh gosh. I had to rush over and comment because of the heartburn issue! When I was pregnant with my daughter, I swear I got heartburn from drinking WATER. It. Was. Bad.

    Rush to your local health food store and start chomping on Papaya Enzyme Tablets. All natural, so you can eat as many as your heart desires! They were a lifesaver. I wouldn’t have slept at all the last trimester if my midwife hadn’t told me about them!

    I’m a long time reader and have really enjoyed following your pregnancy. You and the Mr will be amazing parents 🙂

  • katie@newmamamac March 22, 2012, 10:46 am

    i didnt read through all the comments so i apologize if someone all ready said this.
    i took 20 mg pepcid at least once a day for the last probably 10 weeks of my pregnancy. it was awful. tums no longer did the trick. i would stop eating for the day at like 5 pm because if i ate after that there was no going to bed(unless i slept sitting in a chair)
    everyone said my baby would have a lot of hair and he had none – and still barely has any!
    no OJ, tomatoes, chocolate, coffee, or other citrus. those are triggers. same with heavy meals, spicy meals, and fried foods.

  • Kelsey March 22, 2012, 10:50 am

    I was thrilled that the heartburn stopped the day I met my son!!! But oh man, that stuff was killer.

    Avoid orange juice and similar drinks.

    I will second the papaya enzyme chewable tablets. Those were the only thing that helped me.

    Don’t lie down after eating, and eat small meals.

    Hope it doesn’t plague you ever day! (mine did…)

  • Katy @ HaveYouHurd March 22, 2012, 11:38 am

    I am definitely a little worried on how I will balance setting rules AND letting my child live their life in their teenage years. My parents were pretty lenient with me. I was allowed to go to parties and often times even spend the night. I could have gotten in A LOT of trouble…but I didn’t. I wasn’t an angel by any stretch of the imagination, but I never did anything TOO bad in fear of disappointing my parents. Most of the time I felt like, “they trusted me to come out and do whatever…I owe them the respect to not get nuts.” When I got to college, I went to school with a lot of people that had super strict parents and they went NUTS. They went from being able to do nothing to being able to do anything and it was a little crazy. I don’t want my kids to be like that either. I’m not sure how to find a balance between those…Oh, the joys of parenting!

  • Life's a Bowl March 22, 2012, 11:49 am

    Beautiful baby bump in front of the flowers! My parents got divorced my freshman year of high school so that was a big change and I too had different rules at each house. Regardless, the biggest lesson that I learned from my parents would be that no matter what, your family will always love you. You may not always see eye-to-eye or experience high’s and low’s but that’s part of life…

  • Chase @ The Chase Project March 22, 2012, 1:11 pm

    Hi Caitlin! Long time no comment. I love the “asking twice is nagging” lesson! I will DEFINTELY teach that to my children whenever I get around to having them! 🙂

  • Claire Zulkey March 22, 2012, 2:39 pm

    There are a few ways I’m already contemplating being strict-ish the way my parents were, IE if we have a girl, making her wait until she’s 13 to pierce her ears, waiting as long as humanly possible to give the kid a cell phone (or whatever they have instead of cell phones in the future) and having a family computer, no computers in the bedrooms. I also fear that this could all completely backfire and we’d have a rebel on their hands who didn’t fall for those rules the way my parents did. But it’s what I’m thinking about…

  • Amber K March 22, 2012, 2:48 pm

    I think there are so many different kinds of parenting styles for a reason. Different kinds need different forms of discipline. My best friend has four kids and each one responds to a different treatment. “Treatment” isn’t exactly the best word for what I mean, but they just respond differently.

    I think it’ll be hard for me to decide what kind of parent I’m going to be until I have a child and see what works with them. Although I do know I will be doing pretty much the exact opposite of everything my parents did with me.

  • Sarah March 22, 2012, 4:20 pm

    I sort of feel like we’re living parallel lives. I’m 28 weeks pregnant (I switch my weeks on Saturdays, so almost 29) and my best friend is also pregnant, 8 weeks behind me. She finds out the gender tomorrow!!

  • Molly March 22, 2012, 5:11 pm

    It’s funny- my parents trusted me 100%. Had I done anything wrong (or been caught) the rules would have changed. But because I was given responsibility for myself I never broke any of their unspoken rules- I didn’t drink until college, etc. I was honest about everything if they asked. I guess certain children would have taken advantage of their trust…it’s hard to know for sure!

  • Emily March 27, 2012, 12:50 am

    My Mum did most of the lesson teaching in our household. She taught me to appreciate the little things in life – like the sunset and the ocean, the value of money and not to judge a book by its cover.
    I’ve never liked the taste of booze – which to me tastes like senegar-and-amonia-cough-syrup (nasty-tasting stuff Dad gave us for chest infections) and after learning about how evil cigarettes are to the immune system in nursing I’m far too scared to start that habit.
    I do think it’s true that your parents don’t influence all of how you grow up though luckily all my friends in high school were similar to me.

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