There was a point that my desk at the clinic looked like a tornado had swept through.

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However, it is now decidingly more organized, which means the weekend is almost here!

 

Per Friday tradition, here is a list of interesting articles that I enjoyed reading this week on the Interwebs.  There’s only a few hours left until quitting time, after all.  Read on, my friends.

 

Racing Multiple Marathons: Everything You Need to Know

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I’ve never raced back-to-back marathons.  Heck, one marathon is hard enough, in my eyes.  But in case you’re a baller and are looking to sweep 26.2 more than once in a six-week timespan, this article is for you.  Here’s to not chafing.

 

She Called Me a ‘Man-Whore’

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You all know I love anything to do with gender issues.  This opinion pieces answers the question, “Can a man be ‘slut-shamed?” The writer argues (with the help of a gender studies professor and a feminist activist) that while a guy’s feelings might be hurt, a reputation as a ‘man-whore’ doesn’t have the same connotations for a man as it does for a woman – although it might make women take him less seriously as a long-term boyfriend.  Interesting opinions, for sure.

 

Facebook’s Hypocritical Breastfeeding Controversy

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Breastfeeding in public seems to be a hot topic lately (or maybe I’m just paying more attention to it because I’m pregnant).  Facebook has recently come under fire because it often removes member photos of breastfeeding (or even actually ban the members) when other members complain.  Women complain they’re being treated like pornographers even though breastfeeding is a biological act.  Others say Facebook is simply playing ‘Big Brother.’  Here’s an interesting compilation of breastfeeding images that Facebook has removed – while some do seem more like nude shots, many are simply tasteful photos of babies.

 

Is It Okay to Ask If Someone’s Kids Are Adopted?

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I don’t normally link to blog posts in these round-ups, but this post was so well-written and thoughtful that I absolutely had to share it.

 

How To Quit Worrying About Being Bitchy and Actually Assert Yourself

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I read this article with interest because my personal pet peeve is people who think they’re being assertive while they’re really just being terribly rude.  Side note: At my old job, I didn’t get a legit raise for a long, long time (this is when the economy didn’t suck and raises still happened), and I was so mad about it… until another coworker confidentially told me that the higher-ups hadn’t given me a raise because I hadn’t asked for one.  Duh, Caitlin!  Anyway, I especially liked the advice in this article, especially the part about showing appreciation for the other person while standing up for yourself. 

 

Romances for the Post-Bubble Homeowner

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(Image Source)

Do you love HGTV?  Well, so do I.  And I don’t even own a home.  You would’ve thought that HGTV would’ve collapsed with the housing crash, but no… it’s thriving and doing well.  The article explores why people are so obsessed with HGTV reality shows like Property Virgins and House Hunters (which, and I hate to burst any bubbles, is totally fake – they are already under contract on one of the houses – I know this because I applied to be on the show during our last house hunt!). 

 

How to Deal With People You Hate

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An oldie but a goodie.  This piece tackles handling coworkers, fremenies, and family members that simply rub you the wrong way.  I especially liked the advice on handling difficult coworkers – the article gives you several sentences cues that you can use to navigate testy conversations and actually get work done. 

 

Your turn to weigh in:  Ever ran two marathons in a short time frame? Why do you love HGTV? Tasteful breastfeeding photos on social media sites – yay or nay?  Is calling a guy a man-whore as bad as calling a woman a slut?  And how do you balance being assertive without being aggressive?

{ 56 comments }

 

  • Tamora Rosenbaum February 10, 2012, 3:40 pm

    The “How to quit worrying about being bitchy…” article link only contains “yourself.” (no actual web address)

    Just FYI. Thanks for the interesting reading material! 🙂

    • Caitlin February 10, 2012, 3:42 pm

      Whoops corrected!

  • Becca @ Blueberry Smiles February 10, 2012, 3:45 pm

    All GREAT articles. Thanks so much for sharing.

    And…I think a guy being called a man-whore is nothing like a woman being called a slut. Many guys I know would love to be called a man-whore and feel proud of that title……as sad as that is!

  • Stephanie @ Legally Blinde February 10, 2012, 3:48 pm

    I love HGTV because of the Property Brothers! I could watch them alllllll day long 🙂 Although I shouldn’t watch it at the gym anymore because I always end up with a goofy smile on my face the whole time, haha.

    I actually just sent one of my professors the link to the man-whore article – we just talked about how there is a double-standard regarding “chaste” character for men and women and how this applies to evidence being admitted in sexual assault cases. (My professor is maybe in his 60s and shared with us that after our discussion, his wife told him that he was talking in his sleep and uttered the word “man-whore,” hahaha!)

  • Greta @ Staying Lost February 10, 2012, 3:50 pm

    I had no idea that Facebook objected to strongly to breastfeeding women. I think it’s fascinating that men can post all the topless pictures they want, but if a cute picture of a baby has a breast in it, that’s banned.

  • Stephanie C February 10, 2012, 3:52 pm

    The coworker article as well as how to be more confident in the work place are going to come in handy for me. I’ve been having issues with people trying to lecture me in front of my supervisor. That same situation CAUSED me to be more confident/confrontational so my supervisor didn’t think I was an idiot… this has been bothering me for two weeks! Can’t wait to read them soon.
    As for man-sluts… I view all “sluts” the same. But it does seem like it’s more socially/culturally acceptable for men to be more promiscuous.
    As for my mom, she was friends with many people in the Le Leche League and breastfed me for a long time (she likes to remind me and others of this – gah!) but I don’t think I’ll follow suit. I can understand why some of those pictures might have been offensive to some, but I don’t agree with them completely shutting down accounts because of it.

  • Marci February 10, 2012, 3:53 pm

    I think a lot of those bf’ing photos are a little too much for social media. i plan to breastfeed, but do think it’s a private thing.

    • Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed February 10, 2012, 5:43 pm

      I agree… some of those pictures are just too much! I’m not a mom, so maybe I don’t understand, but I think some discretion is necessary.

  • Katie @ Peace Love & Oats February 10, 2012, 3:54 pm

    Haha I’ve never run ONE marathon! But I’m signed up for the Chicago Marathon this October and I’m pumped! I also love house hunters and selling new york, I couldn’t tell you why though… I like to guess which house they are going to pick on house hunters, and I guess I try and imagine what I would do or want in a house!

  • Jen February 10, 2012, 3:55 pm

    I tried to view the compilation of breast feeding images and my work’s email filter blocked it. Ironic!

    I will have to look at home!

    • Kate February 10, 2012, 7:14 pm

      Same thing happened to me! Oh the irony!

  • KaraHadley February 10, 2012, 3:59 pm

    Normally I don’t weigh in on controversial issues, but the breast feeding thing is really interesting. Seeing mothers breastfeeding in public doesn’t bother me as long as it’s done discreetly (as in, not with the other boob hanging out), so I guess the question for me is whether FB is public or private?
    Personally, I think people use FB too much like a photo album. Pictures that show full on boob seem like something personal that belongs in an actual photo album, not somewhere that everyone you went to high school with can see.

    • Sam February 10, 2012, 4:18 pm

      Just wanted to say great point re: is FB public or private? IMO people do not think about this enough, or realize the difference.

  • Sam February 10, 2012, 4:05 pm

    I don’t know, I’d probably agree with Facebook on this one. But I also can’t stand when people post their sonograms on FB. I just consider it a completely inappropriate medium for sharing that stuff with friends and family and “friends.” I think I’m in the minority in this though, although I did notice it on a top 10 list of things NOT to post on FB a few weeks ago 🙂

    I just think FB should be treated with care and caution. We have no idea where it’s going in a few years. People get all hot and bothered about their privacy on FB, but I personally think that’s what email, phone calls, snail mail and *gasp* in-person meetings are for 🙂

    • Carly February 10, 2012, 5:58 pm

      I completely agree with you Sam!

      • Camels & Chocolate February 11, 2012, 1:11 am

        I’m in agreement with you guys: no to breastfeeding photos (I’ve seen friends of mine who have actually posted a full-on exposed breast while nursing her son right after giving birth…I mean, really, WHY?), no to sonograms. There are just some things that need to stay off the Internet, some boundaries that need to be set.

        And I’m opposed to breastfeeding in public in general. Sure, it’s a natural act but so is urinating and defecating, and you don’t exactly go out and do that in public in front of everyone, now do you? Also, as a friend put it the other day, you may be fine with the act of breastfeeding your child, but what about the mom next to you who maybe doesn’t want her five-year-old son to see that at such a young age? It’s more about respect toward others than an issue of women’s rights (all just my opinions and people are entitled to disagree entirely!).

  • Sara February 10, 2012, 4:09 pm

    Dealing with an argumentative personality in my personal life has actually taught me how to tackle the real issues, cut out the crap, and get to the point of any discussion when I disagree or want to get something. I still get emotional and I still freak out but at least when it’s time to ‘present’ my argument I know I am coming across as an assertive/confident/organized strong woman instead of an emotional wreck. I become poised and people can actually understand me versus trying to decipher anything through my blubbering tears. Taking the time to rehearse what I want to say really does help me feel confident when I approach people and helps me not sound unappreciative or bitchy and I find people actually listen and are more willing to agree with me when I can be this way. I can’t do it all the time…but I try 😉

  • Sonia the Mexigarian February 10, 2012, 4:18 pm

    I love HGTV because it gives me ideas of what I my want in my future home. And maybe what I can do myself. That and I love seeing the foreign places in HHI. Property Bros is a new favorite of mine. I hate the whiners though. :\ Such out offs. Makes me wonder why they get such great interior designs when all they do is b*tch about it. Ah well.

    And I am sooooo not assertive. Not at all. Big bad. Heck, it took a lot of needling from my Husband to ask my dad for a raise (I work with my dad) after 5 years of working with him!

  • Joanne February 10, 2012, 4:19 pm

    I’ve considered running back to back marathons but it seems after each one, I’m pretty spent so I’ve been reluctant to sign up. However, I’ve wanted to run the Flying Pig and it’s two or three weeks after Boston. If I feel good after the Boston run, I might do it. So I HAVE to check out that link.

  • Clare February 10, 2012, 4:21 pm

    Nay to the BF pictures on social media. I breastfed all three of my children for a total of three years and I am pro-breastfeeding (discreetly) in public but posting pictures of your breasts on Facebook is a little exhibitionist, in my opinion. Why the need to share pictures of that? I’m with Facebook.

    • Carly February 10, 2012, 5:58 pm

      Totally agree with this. Well said!

  • lindsay February 10, 2012, 4:24 pm

    I am supportive of breastfeeding in public and while I think a woman should make an effort to not flash people in the restaurant/store/park wherever she is, sometimes it happens. No big deal.

    With that said, I don’t see the point of posting breastfeeding pictures on Facebook. Yes, I think it is a great thing that can form a strong bond between mom and baby. But why do you people put that on the internet? To me it’s as annoying as a couple constantly posting pictures of themselves making out, or someone who constantly whines on twitter or fb statuses. Just because social media allows you to share so much of your life on the internet doesn’t mean you should!

    • Amy S. February 11, 2012, 12:09 am

      I completely agree with this! Whenever I have children I plan to breastfeed, but I’m not going to post pictures of myself doing so, being I feel that’s an immensely private moment that no one else needs to see.

  • Rachel February 10, 2012, 4:34 pm

    Please, tell us more about applying to be on House Hunters! Haha, that’s one of my favorite shows and I always wondered how the people ALWAYS got the house they wanted. In real life, sometimes you get outbid or it just doesn’t happen.

    • Maija February 10, 2012, 9:42 pm

      I know, I always thought it was because they just wouldn’t air the episodes where the couples didn’t get the house they wanted… guess that’s not the case!

  • Rebecca February 10, 2012, 4:43 pm

    The Facebook thing could be an interesting topic for my Media Law class… I mean, cool that you breastfeed. But do you need to share pictures on Facebook where everyone can see them when probably half of your “friends” already know you’re breastfeeding?

    I like the adoption question article. My French prof is going to China this spring to adopt a little girl, and I think it’s awesome.
    I think it can be pretty obvious if a kid is adopted in some cases, but not so much in others, especially if it’s just Mom or Dad out with Baby. One of my friends has cousins who are adopted from (I think) Russia, and I’m not sure there’s any real way to tell that they’re adopted–I’ve never met them, but I would think they look relatively similar to their parents. A friend of mine has a relative from … I’m not even sure where, maybe one of the Caribbean islands? Anyway, she’s got much darker skin than her husband, but if you saw just one of them out with their kids, you might think the kids were adopted based on skin tone. Kind of interesting to think about. Personally, I’m not sure I’d even ask. I’d be too afraid of insulting the family! =\

  • Army Amy* February 10, 2012, 4:56 pm

    I’ve never done consecutive full marathons, but this year I ran back-to-back marathons. I ran 13.1 on New Year’s Eve and another 13.1 on New Year’s Day. Of all the races I’ve done, it was my favorite! Cool concept, cool medals, very organized. I followed the training plan the race provided and felt great both days.*

  • Ingunn February 10, 2012, 5:02 pm

    I got annoyed with House Hunters when I realized that they always picked the place that was empty…and then I realized that it’s because they’ve already bought it. Lame. My new favorite is Property Brothers! We’re in escrow as we speak, so I’m watching a lot of HGTV to get some inspiration for our new place!

  • Lauren February 10, 2012, 5:09 pm

    OMG. Those breastfeeding photos are awful and do not belong on Facebook. Seriously, how much attention do people need? Why even feel the need to take pictures of yourself while breastfeeding? Why is everyone protesting everything these days? How narcissistic! /end rant

  • Sarah February 10, 2012, 5:13 pm

    I don’t like seeing pictures of people eating in general. I think they are unflattering. So I guess I should apply the same logic for pictures of breastfeeding right?

  • Christine @ BookishlyB February 10, 2012, 5:46 pm

    I think the breastfeeding issue is interesting, and while I’m not a mother I am a woman who plans on breastfeeding. I think there’s a difference between putting a picture up on FB to prove a point, and putting one up because maybe something else was going on in the picture. There’s also a difference between a picture of someone breastfeeding and a picture zooming in on the actual breastfeeing. Does that make sense? I’m friends with my uncles and my grandma- I really don’t want them seeing my boobs.

  • Jamie @ Don't Forget the Cinnamon February 10, 2012, 5:47 pm

    The man-whore article was super interesting–thanks so much for sharing! It’s hard to say since I can only personally speak to the female experience but intellectually, all of the arguments made in the article convinced me that it really isn’t the same.

  • Charmaine February 10, 2012, 6:17 pm

    I definitely thought some of the BFing photos were over the top, but I do believe we need to figure out a way to normalize breastfeeding in such a way that women feel comfortable And supported while doing so in public. There are definitely ways to do it discretely without putting a blanket over yourself and your baby (this I observed at a La Leche League meeting a few weeks ago). I’ve seen people post disgusting photos of themselves at Halloween or in clubs … blech!

    Oh and I have run back to back marathons. A week before the first one, I sprained my ankle and ran the whole thing with a brace (yes, I was drinking the Crazy juice… ). By the time the second one came around 6 weeks later, my ankle had healed and I shaved 20 minutes off my time.

  • Alyssa February 10, 2012, 6:37 pm

    I ran two marathons in two weeks while training for a 50 mile race. I don’t really recommend it, but I don’t regret it, and now I have permanent bragging rights. Wearing the shirt from the first marathon to the second got me some compliments.

    One of my best friends is black and was adopted by white parents when he was 5. The comments he gets, even from his own family members, are unbelievably rude! It’s pretty obvious he’s adopted, so people will do stuff like refer to his parents as his “adoptive parents”, as if he’s not really part of his own family. I think it’s ok to politely inquire, but the attitude of “adoptive kids aren’t really your kids” is completely ignorant and needs to go.

    • Alyssa February 10, 2012, 7:45 pm

      Wow, after reading some of the comments in that adoption article, I had to come back and clarify my comment. I meant it’s ok to ask someone if their children are adopted if you are friends or know each other well, and if it is an adults only conversation. I thought that went without saying, but apparently I need to make it clear that I DO NOT think it’s acceptable to ask a complete stranger that question, or ask in front of the kids. Sort of thought that would be a no-brainer. Some of those stories are unbelievable!

  • Catalina @ Cake with Love February 10, 2012, 6:44 pm

    very interesting articles, thanks for sharing!

  • Rebecca February 10, 2012, 6:44 pm

    Wow. I am a big House Hunters fan and I am shocked! I feel a little cheated now! 🙂

  • Alina February 10, 2012, 6:56 pm

    The breast feeding thing is pretty funny, after all, so many people have their breasts hanging out in their profile pictures you can almost see more!

  • Heather February 10, 2012, 7:01 pm

    While I don’t think it’s appropriate to show your full on boob on the internet anywhere, I think that a lot of those breastfeeding pictures show much less boob than some of the “beach vacation” pictures that many people have. I think the issue is less about whether breastfeeding photos should be allowed on FB and more about the consistency of FB in removing and suspending accounts. There are people who consistently post racy photos who have never had an issue, and some breastfeeding mothers who have theirs removed when you can’t even see their boob at all. I have a problem with the “targeting” if you will. Does that make sense?

  • Hillary February 10, 2012, 7:36 pm

    I’m borderline obsessed with HGTV (and, yes, watching House Hunters right now. Obviously). I don’t own a home, but I want to one day soon, and I feel like HGTV has given me a better idea of what I like and what I can afford. Plus, watching the shows with million dollar homes is fun, too!

  • Carrie February 10, 2012, 7:55 pm

    My cousin was on Property Virgins, she had a blast with it and learned a ton about the house buying process. I have also met the host in real life, she lives/works in my city.

    I’m on the fence with FB breastfeeding pics. Yes people need to get their heads out of their butts about it (ew that is so gross! How can do that in public? That kind of thing) But do you take a pictures of yourself stuffing your face and post them? No.

  • Kristen February 10, 2012, 8:17 pm

    I have a feeling that I’ll be in the minority here, but I respectfully disagree with those who have said that we need to “normalize breastfeeding in public.” Um…why?? I completely agree that BF is amazing and natural, but so is PEEING, and we all agree that we should do that in private….I hope.

    • Tia @ Veggies and Pearls February 10, 2012, 9:01 pm

      I had a convo on Facebook about this. A married male friend of mine said: “I wouldn’t want my wife’s breast feeding pictures on Facebook. Not sure what the benefit would be. I’m not really sure why a breast feeding mother doesn’t feel the need to have at least some level of modesty. It is so uncomfortable to be in a room with woman who has no problem pulling her apparatus out for all to see.” My sister, who is a young mother who breast fed her baby girl up to the age of one replied, “Exactly. I might be okay being around a breastfeeding mom who is totally exposed, but my husband is not. And I don’t think certain breastfeeding pics should be all over facebook (and why would a mother want them to be? what is the the benefit?). Sharing photos with very close friends is one thing, but you could just email the photo if it’s that important. “

      • Tia @ Veggies and Pearls February 10, 2012, 9:06 pm

        I think some of the BF pictures are fine and don’t show that much, but there is no need for people to post pictures where you can see an entire naked breast! Why would you want the world to see that anyway? Also, if your child grows up and finds pictures of him/herself on Facebook breastfeeding, he/she would be mortified!

  • Tia @ Veggies and Pearls February 10, 2012, 8:58 pm

    I loved all your articles of this week and you inspired me to do an article round-up of my own! http://veggiesandpearls.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/article-round-up/

  • Maren February 10, 2012, 10:32 pm

    Never ran one marathon, let alone TWO. I can’t help my HGTV obsession. It’s fun to see the wide variety of homes people are looking for! HH international, though = no interest. I don’t mind breast feeding in public. Baby hungry? baby hungry! I do agree that the majority of men don’t mind the “man-whore” title, but some men have emotional feelings as strong or stronger than women! And last, when I’m being assertive, I try to say something positive about the situation to start off, and then mention what’s bother me!

  • Bethany February 10, 2012, 10:47 pm

    I ran two marathons three weeks part last fall. The first one I did as a “training” run in preparation of he next one. I didn’t tell anyone so i wouldn’t feel pressured o do well. I was 3 minutes off a PR. It must have worked because at teh next one three weeks later I had a 2 minute PR. I wish I cold afford to do marathons close together more often!o

  • Lexi @ Cura Personalis Foodie February 10, 2012, 10:49 pm

    I wish there was actually an apple that looked/tasted like that 🙂

  • Katie @ Soulshine and Sassafras February 10, 2012, 11:58 pm

    I’m very pro breast-feeding, and think that people are entirely too squeamish about it. However, I agree that some of those pictures are a bit exhibitionist. After all, sex is a biological act, but I wouldn’t post pictures of me gettin’ it on on FB.

    • Marie February 11, 2012, 2:09 pm

      This is exactly what I was thinking! Sex is a very basic, human act, but it’s also a private one not meant to be shared through photos on FB. Likewise, most of the breastfeeding pictures were too exposed—and I am left wondering, why do some people feel the need to let “friends” on FB see so much of their private lives? FB, whether we like to accept it or not, is a PUBLIC domain and is in no way a place to post PRIVATE pictures. I am even hesitant to post pictures at all, let alone ones of my breasts!

      While I am absolutely in support of breastfeeding, there is a way to do so discreetly that does not say, “Hey world, see my breasts?!”

  • Laura February 11, 2012, 12:29 am

    I ran 2 marathons in 15 days – I signed up for the second one on a whim because I bonked in the first and walked most of it.

    I don’t think I would ever post a photo of myself breastfeeding online, but I don’t have anything against anyone doing it. Though, I kind of don’t see the point. The key is to be tasteful. But of course, how do you define tasteful?

    Slut is definitely much worse than man-whore. Every time I have ever heard man-whore it has been as a joke.

  • Anne February 11, 2012, 4:03 am

    So I know the image of the apple/orange is linked to another blog, but I’m kinda surprised that it’s not credited to the original owner of the image, Freakonomics.
    Seems unethical to me to use an image not owned by you (generic you).

  • samantha February 11, 2012, 7:22 am

    I can’t believe hout hunters and property virgins is fake! It totally makes sense but conside my bubble burst!

  • jen February 11, 2012, 7:34 am

    i think breatfeeding is the most wonderful thing ever, the fact that a mother can completely nourish her child on her own is amazing. With that being said, i often feel like SOME people throw it in your face, as though DARING you to comment so they can pretest. Also, with the whole facebook thing, its just something i dont understand. why are women posting themselves doing something typically seen as private (private, not shameful) on the world wide web? but then again, i also dont understand people who post pictures of all kinds of ridiculous things. I think the facebook generation as a whole has a whole lack of privacy.

    i guess deep down inside me i always knew house hunters was fake (sniff sniff) bc so far on my house hunt i have seen 87239857985 houses and ive had no luck, so i think its pretty impossible for all these people to find luck within 3.

    the whole man whore thing is a great topic, bc those words mean such different things to different people. in a totally overgeneralized way, when you call a man a whore, its like “yeah man, good job getting lots of tail”, but for women, its this totally embarassing thing! just one of society’s stupid historical ways of thinking. i dont call anyone that though, to each his or her own.

  • Jolene (Homespun Heritage) February 11, 2012, 8:47 am

    As a transracial family one of the questions our family gets all the time is “Are they adopted?” We find this to be hugely annoying because do folks seriously think they are the first to ask? We’re asked constantly (CONSTANTLY) and most of the time we get a “Oh your such a Saint” comment thrown in at the end.

    One thing they don’t realize is that our children desire to just feel “normal” and having their adoption status brought up every time makes them feel like an outsider in their own family. Also, we get asked (CONSTANTLY) “Which ones are YOURS?” Well, all of them…”Well you know what I mean” No, I don’t know what you mean. They are all mine no matter the journey that brought them into my life.

    We are currently adopting two children from China and I recently had someone ask me, “Did you get to go and pick them out?” Um, no Kids-4-Sale was running low so we have to wait till their in stock again.

    Most folks don’t try to be ignorant but they really need to think about what they are asking. Will their question make MY child feel inferior? Will it be TOO personal? (You really DON’T need to know why my child was in State care…that is their personal story to tell if they choose to as an adult.)

    This is a real quick response and I have not checked for grammar, so I apologize for the mistakes. We are constantly bombarded with nosy questions from folks that are truly just NOSY, ignorant folks that are not trying to be rude and are simply misled, and honest to goodness people who celebrate diversity with us. Such a vast array of people we come into contact with.

    Just think before you speak, folks, please!

  • Amber K February 11, 2012, 1:13 pm

    I totally have to go read the article on how to deal with people you hate. I have the worst time dealing with them!

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